2016 - February
First! New month! Day after the zero! My fear go! I stand! And I aim to be the hero!
The one who preservers. The one who's always here.
Time and time again. The one who bears the pen.
The one who bears it's weight, Be it early, be it late.
The one who always writes, be it day, be it night.
The one who stages fright, to write just one page.
The one who wages war, takes the fight, tames his rage.
To be bright, to showcase, all the might, that he wakes!
With his pen. Time and time again.
Just wait one second! It'll the be the third soon, and so forth, and I'm not prepared at all. I have no idea what to write about today. I haven't thought about it one bit. I haven't even a kilobyte of memory. My mind is empty like I just powered down and emptied my RAM. I wish I could C++, maybe get a cup of Java, and yet I only CSS because I watched one of those movies recently. Fury.
I don't HTML. I wish I could get it more often. Feeling like a ruby on rails. Life is code.
Times, man. They're just too fast. They blast by and you have a blast, but then they're over, and then they're passed.
And I wish that they should stay a while, and let me get to know them, cause time it seems OK a while, but then okay here we go again!
Times man, they're just so fast, they blast by fast and then they're passed... and they're never really open. You never can control them.
I wish I could read their mind, cause they read mine, all the time. If I'm late or early, it's benign! Times, man. Times.
May the fours be with you! May the force be with you! May the fors be with me! For everything! For life! For greatness! For hope and prosperity! For oranges on a Tuesday! For movies! For staying up late! For getting up earlier! For relaxing with a nice bath! For playing a good game! For not forcing yourself to do anything you don't want to do... that you know won't let you grow and defeat the residual versions of your concurrent you! Step up! Get down! Go round! Right there! There's nothing left for me to write. I four see.
He saw no other way out. There was no other way. There was only a way in, and he wanted to get out. He couldn't think of anything. He only had his doubt. He thought he could not win, so he just wanted out. He couldn't see a thing, so he let out a shit. All he heard was the wind, gray and ghoulish clouds. Floating overhead, reminding him of sins, from his past, but all those he could do without. All he saw was The Thing, so he let off his pout: let the fire burn, let it burn.
Words. I have a surplus of them today.
I feel great! Why? I've been at a party. An EP I'm featured on just came out. I received a redeemable gift code for a free game. A talent scout sent me a PM. I've applied for a few pre-tastes of new edible items. I woke up with a headache, but I managed to chase it away, and now I'm sitting here at the end of the day with pretty high spirits over both day and future, and life in general and specific. If all days were as groovy as this...
Seven ate nine. So there is no nine. So there is no violence. So, there would not be, at least, if there wasn't such a variety of other weapons. I guess violence will always be. There will always be war. It's in our nature. We simply cannot escape our true selves. All we can do is strive to become the strongest, most resilient version of our current self! To be the best we can be! And to do the best we can do! And make the world a better place for all of us living here! Because seven ate nine.
I am on a roll today! feel like I can get things done - even if the day is in it's final phase and I'm slowly sinking lower and lower down in the chair on which I'm perched.
Not much you can do about tiredness. It comes when it pleases. It leaves when you finally give in and give it what it wants. Rest. Time. Wasted time. A night's worth of potential.
Then you get up and feel great again, until it comes knocking once more, and sometimes it keeps knocking all night too. Not today though! I'm on a roll.
Every time I hear this number I think of Parasite Eve. The second. The second I see this number I think of this game, of not just one of the most convincing villains on videogame, but of Aya.
Of her perils, trials and terrible troubles, Of the people she knew, and lost, and saved, and all the terrible things that happened out there in the dusty desert sands of Nevada.
I think of the shop, and the girl in the room, and the night, and the animals, and genes, and floodgates. It all comes flooding back.
I'm late today.
The train I was supposed to catch leaves in ten minutes, and though I could have caught it if I tried, I decided to finish up a few things before I leave. Things like: breakfast.
I have a bowl of muesli prepped in front of me right now, yet I started up a few tabs of tasks I'd like to get done first. A few words here, a few on that other place, a few idle games, a few responses... each day starts alike. But as soon as I clean routine, each day varies!
Good morning world.
A hundred words isn't enough to convey what I have to say today. A hundred words isn't enough. There's so much to speak of, but one topic in particular. More importantly: one topic. But the words will not last. They will not remain through the flow of history, but more importantly: there will not be enough space to convey them here. Because a hundred words is not a thousand. Because a hundred words is not a hundred thousand. But a thousand hundred words is. I wonder if this site will be around by then? A hundred words is not enough.
I watched the latest Star Wars movie today, and yes it was awesome! It was great. Really great. I'm not a Star Wars fanatic (is fan short for fanatic?), but it's easy to get into that Star Wars state of mind. Kylo Ren. The Force. Han Solo. The Dark Side. Luke Skywalker. The First Order. The Death Star. The Millennium Falcon. Leia. Chewie. Darth Vader. Sith. Goku. Items and names of items and names all swirl together and intertwine and form this Universal image that Lucas Arts. It really Lucas awesome as the last trilogy. And the previous. New dawn.
It's a new day today! A great new day full of sun rays that play today. And oh, they fall on a newfallen snow. They fall, and reflect back with hope. I won't deject that - I'll cope. I'll cope in this new hope that flows, the flies in the sky, that bounces off the light, the sun rays up in flight, flying over life. I'll see to it that reach. Each and every one and all in each: the sun rays the light up my night. The sun rays and snow. As I sit and type this, at home. I'm home.
These damn canker sores. Horrible, painful canker sores.
I've had them for years. Usually they pop up around the edges of the lower lip, but last night I scanned the bottom of my tongue for unknown reasons, and guess what I found? The most uncommon type. The one where large amounts of these little blisters gather at the bottom of the mouth, and sometimes get together and form larger blisters, a mat of blisters that seem like some sort of allergic reaction. Maybe that's what they are?
I'm preparing for the coming agony soon as they pop. Damn canker sores.
I'm up early today. Clocks' not even 9 yet. Feels weird. Wasn't sure I'd fall asleep at all, but I felt tired just past twelve, and I gave it a try... and here I am! At the start of better habits I hope.
I actually woke up around 5 craving a glass of water, and I'm not sure how well I slept since then, but considering how fast time passed before I stepped out of bed I must not have been particularly awake anyway. Tonight will be interesting; if I can keep the new schedule or not.
Good morning world!
Ahh. I'm back from work. Long day today. 6 hours. And a half. And a half for lunch. And one and a half for commuting.
I'm blessed to work part-time and have time over for other parts: for another part time job. And for hobbies. I need variation. I fear working full-time, with the same thing. I fear monotony. Being part of the system. But, no matter how systematically I work - if it's not all at one place - it's OK.
And 8/40 hour days/weeks? Nah, try 14/100 hour weeks. Half of that is all mine.
Ugh. Stomach problems again, and I'm not sure what it is.
An occasional sharp pain in the lower right abdomen on one specific sore spot on the skin - more noticeable when rubbed, and usually rubbed while in motion. Belching. A general sense of lack of appetite. Feeling bloated and uncomfortable after food (especially with more well-done forms of food), though always with a vague sense of hunger or very mild heartburn. Pain on the lower right side when I bend downwards, and a slight pain in my lower back, and occasionally pain on other parts.
Appendicitis? Doesn't seem certain...
My stomach's OK today! At least that's how it feels right now. Pre-breakfast. Pre-motion. Pre-anything, just after a long rest. I guess it wasn't the appendix after all, or was it?
Most probably it's gastritis again, which means I'll have to drastically alter my diet again. No fried, fat or trashy foods. And preferably also no gluten, milk or sugar. Well, maybe milk, but definitely no gluten. I'm staying away from all things potentially hazardous until everything's calmed down. And most of all: no L-Glutamine.
Let's see how long it takes to fix this this time.
I have rhymes to place. Still in mind all day. Stealing time all day. I have rhymes to place. I have plights to face, but rhyme is all I find, in my mind today, I need to prime my mind - I need to find a way. I'd rather fly away. I'd rather chase my dreams. I'd rather evade the same ways of plain routine. It's all pain to me, but no pain no game, and if I say the same things then aint no change. I have rhymes to place. Still in mind all day. It's mine: all day.
A hundred words, that's what I'll write today! February 20, as I sit in the shade. The shade inside my mind. I played my play I find. I'll find it once again - the red thread. I hope I find this thread once again.
I'm sitting on my chair, I'm sitting always here, I think I've sat too much, at least that's what my GUT is telling me. This fast food, it's stuck in jealousy. It's not a fad I passed, it's a rut that I let be.
Button up and start again! Tell the world I'm not like them. Again.
I have to accept that there's not time for everything. I just have to accept that.
No matter how much willpower of time I have; no matter how efficient I am, the times of day are in limited amount, and pressing all the more activities into those limited hours doesn't necessarily make the quality of those activities any better.
On a Sunday in particular, I feel I'd like to just relax for once. Let the project rest a day, and get back to them on Monday with a vengeance!
Some projects don't like waiting though. So... maybe next week. End.
Oh yeah! One more work day successfully completed!
A day at work, and then I go berserk! Then I write my words, for these violent herds! May be like a jerk, may be twice as cool, but like lice I writhe in life cause I'm a fool. I just want to be confident. I just want to fit in. I just want to find a place. And I see it in your face; I want to be like you.
Whomever you are, stranger. Get out there! Show the world what you're made of! Flesh and blood! Dreams and visions! Life.
Aaaaaahhh...nd I'm back home again!
Back on my throne and alone! I sit where I sit and I comb with my comb! I listen to Bizkit and zone in on my zone, on my throne, in this home, sitting solo by the phone!
I eat a little dinner, and then I go and stroll! Along the dark roads like I really rock and roll! It's icy, it's spicy, it's life outside tonight. The moonlight shimmers bright, and the wind is non-existent - can't even fly a kite. So I sit and write. Not that I've a kite, but alright.
As of today, I've written 750 words for 100 days in a row. I don't know about you, but to me that's a pretty amazing feat! When I started I wasn't sure I'd make a month, but here I am three months later, and it's still moving on smoothly.
Since I started with 100 words each day around the same time last year... I guess I'm up at a 100 day streak here as well! Woot! It's not quite as tasking as the other, but worth celebrating innit? :) Time to... take a stroll in the soft sunshine of morning spring!
I wonder why some days I can go for days without having to sign-in, and some days I have to sign-in again... every day. Wish there was a 'Remember Me' feature. Because you remember me, right? Guys? I'm that guy who signed up way back when and started writing stuff here, and came back a few times over the years, and now I'm back again and... still aint nothing changed! Still as great as ever, this place. The only thing that's changing is me, and today I've got a gigantic canker sore under my tongue. Ugh. Remember me.
I'm working on a hundred words today. I thought I'd write them first, before I write my 750, and respond to a comment I've received on teh blog. But before that I'd better take a stroll. Nothing wakes you up quite as well as a morning promenade, a somber waltz in the sun of early dawn... though the clouds are heavy today.
My mind is light, though! I woke up early despite a late fall to sleep, and I'm not sleepy at all. I feel like if I keep on like this I'll get burnt out quick.
I feel great.
Woke up with... something like lumbago today. Only it's at the top of my back instead of the bottom. Thought it was the left shoulder blade, but as they day went it shifted inwards to the center of the spine, and that's where it is right now.
It's not like I can't move around, or sit down, but both moving around and sitting down isn't without pain. Nor is lying down. Nor is anything, really. I haven't been lifting anything heavy lately, or doing any strange movements that I remember... I must have done something! Hope it blows over soon.
My back... is still very similar to yesterday. I'm surprised I could sleep at all. And I wonder how I positioned myself when I did sleep, because when I woke up I couldn't lie comfortably any one way without constantly shifting positions, tossing and turning, and shifting the point of pain between shoulder blades. It's good exercise though, all this turning over, and maybe it gives the shoulders movement they need to loosen up too. I hope so. I feel like as soon as this blows over I should turn a new leaf, stretch, think about my posture. Until then.
I wonder if anyone will ever catch up to Joid. If I hadn't skipped a year or two inbetween batches I could've had a chance, but as it is it's like starting to practice to catch up to a marathon runner that's been running a non-stop marathon for years in a row. Impressive! Dedication! High level!
In other post topic content it's the end of February now, and I've written the whole month day by day. I guess that's worth mentioning, because it certainly feels like an accomplishment. time to march onto March and see what happens then!