2017 - October
It's the first of October!! I just emailed a buddy about how I'd been riding the wildest roller coaster ever the day before yesterday... but it was the first of October!! And I'm writing this the second. Time's blown by so fast I almost can't keep track of it, and it feels great. Looking at yesterday's date and feeling like it was worth more than just a day. Like it spanned two days. Like today was so long yesterday was two days ago. Like... something like that.
Like it or not, I like it. Like it or not? Like it.
Today... was a blur. So tired. Train rides. Early morning. Train station. Feeling responsible. Get up. Run off. No bike today, cause we carry bags. To work. In a daze. Do stuff. Look busy. Get busy. Feel busy. Calm down. Rain patter. Wind blows. Storm outside. Get home. Sister didn't meet. All wet. Unpack the car. Parents home. House feels small. Stuff is everywhere. Leaning out. Good to talk. Much to tell. So much food. Eating stuff. Good stuff too. Updating my browser. Thought I'd do more by the computer but... maybe some other day. Today I think I'll sleep.
Another day in the life!
I got up and didn't get down twice. I've been high on the air, but low on advice. I fetched supplies! I don't just abide my time! I went to work and came home and ran around till it's something and nine. Trying to find time to make a machine and travel in time: step back and rewind.
Time for a couple of episodes of anime... if I'm able. I barely have time for my Netflix account. Whatever happened to cable? And the beet to this table? Latest episode of Content Cop, that's what.
Another day in the life! Get up and get the sunshine in my sights. Make sunshine on my sites. I got it all in mind. I got it all I find! I've got so much I stall. I got so much it stacks up and surrounds me like a wall. I got much more than y'all. I got so much I fall, when I try to climb up over those stacks around and crawl, around beneath the mound, just trying to breath right now, but I'll dig through the fabric until my view's round. That's what I call: New Grounds.
I'm sitting with my breakfast bowl on my first free day in a few weeks now. Wondering what I'll spend my time with; looking up at the new buildings they're pulling up behind our block. They're creeping closer and closer. Their line of sight goes through our windows - though not directly. I do appreciate their angled in another direction, though they loom tall, and seclude the view, and shadow our houses, and sometimes make the world feel like a dark and dystopian place where we're taking over all open areas. Building. Building. Building... I think I'll build some sites today.
Too much time. Too little to do. Not too little to do, but: too little things that sets me in motion. Too much time to ration as I see fit, which means that I can leave tasks for later instead of doing them right away, and re-prioritize, and do the things I don't really need to do. Tasks don't come at their own accord, but only when I manage to do them, which means: I don't manage enough. Too many plans. Too little motion. Too much of a mess. Is that really what it is? Too much...
It's a brand new day and I wake up with yesterday's headache...
I think I know why, this time. It crept on shortly after dinner. Spicy food. Canned food. Tuna fish and curry. Either it's the cans, or it's the spice, or a combination thereof, but clearly: it's the food.
But today: how can I rid myself of these aftereffects as quickly as possible... if possible? Will eating good food help? Should I try some detox? Should I NOT eat? Just drink? Just rest? Usually nothing seems to help at all, only time. Maybe it's time to try something new...
I'm listening to the fundamental nature of the universe... it rambles on in the background, through the sky full of radiators, morphing; transforming, intertwining with cloud, flowing through an endless stream of time, running the red light, passing by the side, going further and further until not even I am sure where I am going in this life, or the next, but this is how it always was, right? And how it always will be. Free. Flowing. Like a river. Eternal. Delving down, deep, into the void, and telling me where I belong. Where I should go. This. Our place.
I keep getting introduced to new rappers via Montreality.
It's a great channel. Best interviews. Really. As far as hiphop goes. Though some artists seem almost too high to be giving interviews.
Today it's Young Nudy and he's definitely one of those. Can't hear half of the stuff he's saying. Mumble rapper? Maybe!
Interesting how the genre's splitting into all kinds of sub-genres now. Hiphop's really evolved, to the point where 'Hip Hop' is just a small part of it. I don't like all the new stuff, but I like that it's grown. It's accepted now. It's real music.
I signed up for an Andrew Huang competition a while back (first time I participate in his competitions - though there's been a bunch since I subscribed to his channel) aaaaand... I didn't win.
Oh well. I had the chance. It WAS possible! I shall persevere and enter into more and more competitions until ONE DAY... I give up. Or win something. Whichever comes first.
Life in itself is like a big version of the lottery though. Each day's a gamble. Everything you do. Choices. Decisions. Spontaneous meetings. It all adds up, until one day either you win... or give up.
Another headache day.
I really need to get this stuff under check. Don't want it to become a chronic thing again. Not that I've ever had the 'official' chronic kind, but one or two days each week feels like more than enough... and especially when it's during days with events I've been looking forward to going to, like the new Kingsman movie, at the movies, today.
It went OK though! I managed to focus at least equally as much on the big screen as on my head, and eventually more so on eventual bathroom breaks. But I persevered! Good watch.
It's a new day and... today I have no headache! Hell yeah.
It's time to do all those things I didn't do yesterday, or the day before. It's a day to remember. It's a day to go so hard on you forget the time, and forget the day, and forget what made this day so special: that there is absolutely no limit. Your mind is fresh. You can use it however you want to. You can do whatever you set your mind to.
I don't know what I'm saying. What is there to write about. Today is a great day.
Ever wanted to try some spicy chips? Try Chili Klaus.
I bought two bags of this intriguing brand earlier. One was red; one was black. I recently ate up the red one and it was great! Spicy, but not too much. That was Trinidad Scorpion Butch T. The black one: Trinidad Scorpion Moruga. Apparently it's the hottest chili in the world!
So yeah... it's pretty hot!!! In moderate doses a great snack, though. Gets you warmed up during these cold winter days. I just had a small bowl, and... I think that's enough for today! Don't eat it all at once.
I sent in a compliment to 100 Words today. Though maybe more like a request. Or a reminder. Either way: I sent in something to 100 Words. Hope they take it to heart.
Before that I wrote a rant about my neighbors waking me up so early, which I'll be posting to my blog in a minute, but maybe it's actually pretty good that they did. This morning it seems like I'm getting more done before I usually wake up than I usually do after I DO wake up. Maybe it's not so bad to get up before you're ready.
I mean: when the expectations for the day are weighing you down, and you can't seem really do all that you want to... even though you really can. If you really want to. I had to go over the hundred words just to say what I gotta say!
Not all mornings are the same, of course, but sometimes... it's not bad to have energetic next door neighbors that get you going ahead of schedule.
How do you manage writing, so that it seems the least apathetic?
With exclamation marks! Of course.
How do you manage that phrase above without it seeming satiric? With exclamation marks, of course!
How do you manage that phrase above without it seeming exaggeratedly optimistic? Without exclamation marks, of course.
How do you manage that phrase above without it seeming condescending - like you're telling the reader something they should already know? Without the of course.
How can you tell when someone's going the wrong way in life? When they're off course.
How can you tell when to stop writing? 100.
I'm not missing half as many of these daily writings as I usually do, even though I've missed at LEAST half of my Inktober doodles so far.
I guess this is becoming a bit of an obsession, whereas other, more important tasks are left in the sidelines while I distract myself with these daily typings.
I should really get back to 750 Words too. It's fuin to write, and it's therapeutic, but there's only so much time in one day so I tell myself this is the most I'll have time for. Plus blogs, and stuff. And maybe some doodles...
I switched my work day today so I could stay home and tend to an even more important thing: an overdue hexalist update.
Usually I'd manage one of these at the end of any regular work day, but I did a mistake in my previous update, before summer, which I need to fix before I can do a new scan, and then the scan will take a couple hours, and when that's done there'll probably be a whole lot of new names to add in considering four months have passed...
So I'd better get started soon, huh. It's time. Yeah.
The best thing... I read the first three words but I didn't read the rest. Maybe I'll do so after I write this. It moved me to a second state though. One of pondering. One of wonder. What is.. the best thing? What is life? Who am I, really? What do I want? How do I want to spend my time here? I'm kind of tired... maybe I should really go to sleep, instead of forcing myself to sit here and do things, when I could do them better early in the day. Full of energy. Mornings. The best thing...
Days fly but, but I've been keeping up with the words anyway! What I haven't been keeping up with is everything else, but that's a different issue.
I've been buying stuff lately. A drone, a new computer monitor (my old one was from 2003 - this one's from 2013), throwing knives, glow-in-the-dark fidget spinners... the usual stuff, you know. Only when it's cheap/on sale/I need it. Or a combination thereof, and in this case all three!
So that went well. I just need to get used to my new monitor. I'm kinda comfortable with this one.
I finally got my Wacom tablet working yesterday!
I tried installing all kinds of different drivers. First the newest. Then the older. Then I realized I probably needed to uninstall the newer. It didn't work, so I uninstalled the older too, and the even older one that was bundled with the tablet, and then I installed the newer old one again (newest of the old ones) aaand it worked! :D
So I managed to doodle for about half an hour until bed beckoned, and I left the rest for today. Will there be time? Will I manage? I hope so! Now...
I'm listening to Jl's newest album today - his debut album with Strange Music to be specific, and it's probably the dopest album I've heard this year. It's the dopest album of his I've heard so far too - but I haven't heard any of his previous stuff except for DIBKIS. The track. The old one.
This guy is a monster though! Impeccable flow; rhyming schemes. Attitude. Atmosphere. As he says: it's contagious. It's the kind of album you can listen to over and over and get more and more hyped up with each listen! Looking forward to whatever's up next! DIBKIS.
I'm listening to some Wu-Tang, Ludacris and Lil Dicky today.
So many artists to catch up. So much lyricism. I wonder how much will subconsciously stick in my mind, and become bits and pieces of rhyme on my own tracks, which I'll then think are completely original.
I wonder how much has been copied that way already. I wonder how much is really original. I wonder if anything is ever really original now. I wonder if creativity is gone, and creating is pointless, and our only choice is to move out into space, because our own frontier is BACK.
New day, and I'm listening to... no new music at all actually! I'm listening to silence, what was I was about to type, but actually I'm listening to my alternate computer background hum as it tries to crawl NG for stats.
I've been stuck on one particular update with my regular PC for a week now, and nothing I tried seem to solve it. So, I tried my other PC... and it WORKED! I have no idea why it didn't work with the former. It's been running flawlessly for three years straight up til now, but... YAY! It works now.
Oh my. Busy life.
I thought I'd be all caught up with Inktober by now, yet there's less than a week left of the month now and I am STILL not even halfway through. Not even half. Way.
I still haven't managed to post the yearly summer review on my blog, so that's over a month overdue by now, and ditto for the few movies I've watched the past few months and have yet to review. And I didn't manage the hexalist update in September, but I'm working on it now. One week behind schedule too.
Hmmmmm... new day tomorrow!
It's a new day! And I'm starting it at home, waiting for the time to close in on that which I leave... for a booked zone therapy session, and then some sushi, and then back to regular job again. It's a new way to start a day!
Unfortunately also a bit late, so I'll be missing a few hours I'd have liked to get pay for, but such is the way of life. Mysterious workings. Some things, you just can't plan for.
Also I caught up with a few Inktober sketches yesterday so I'm pretty optimistic overall! Good day today.
It's the last week of my summer stretch and...
No it's really not! Last Sunday came the first snow, and autumn's getting so cold all of a sudden that I'm beginning to ponder if I really do want to wear shorts the whole month out.
Of course I will persist... right? I always do with these kinds of things, but maybe I'll have to bring down my winter jacket on top of it. The thick one. Below zero, you know, is cold when you have open clothes!!
Seems like this year we might finally be getting a REAL winter.
I went to Gröna Lund today. Halloween edition. And what an experience it was! Unfortunately the green card you can use for the entirety of the 'normal' season didn't work for this particular event, and new ones are expensive, but the fire show was worth a watch, they had free Fanta, the smoke machines were running like crazy and the decorations were way more elaborate than I'd expected them to be! It was a fun night, and since I've got the green card now I guess I'll have to use it at least one more day... next week, soon!
I really wish they'd fix the login on this site.
Have I written about it before? It's like this: there's no 'remember me' function. I remember when I first started using this site I could log in, and remain logged in, yet now have to repeat the process each day I want to write, and not only that, but click the 'Write' button twice after logging in to get to the writing section.
It's too long a way for such a trivial task, so batches beckon... but I still persist with the daily! Hoping the feature comes back someday soon.
I'm listening to the latest album of Mayday today (with exclamation marks trailing before and after... though can you say trailing before?)
It's great! Not as great as their heyday album The Island IMHO, but you can't expect a group to keep the same old style eternally. They keep on morphing, and though I miss some of the old I'm enjoying the new too. Fully. It's still as easy to vibe to, melodic, and full of after thought as ever.
Search Party. That's the one. If you're looking for a bit more soulful/tribal/thoughtful/fast hiphop, Mayday are it.
I took a day off work today for a birthday party.
My sister's, and a few relatives were coming over as well. We would've arranged it this weekend instead but they couldn't make it then, so we settled for today. Good thing we both have a bit unorthodox work times, and everyone else is a pensioner by now so they don't even consider things like what day it is. I wonder how long it takes to abandon the habit that some things you do on week days, and some things you don't?
Guess when I'm old I'll know the answer...
I didn't get a chance to celebrate it at all, I was too busy trying to get my Inktober sketches done before the month was done, but before that I just had to finish a belated list update and that took the whole night... after a whole day of work. So that's that. Guess I'll be a bit late with Inktober this year. Better late than not late, right? I mean, better than: never.
Seems like all I post about nowadays is how time flies, but that's really all I have time for. ;) The next month starts tomorrow!