2018 - January
01/01
So the New Year is here! 2018. I wonder how it'll be.
I wasn't super-motivated when I wrote up my New Year blog yesterday, but I do feel like a little bit more resolve than usual seeps into my daily dues. I didn't feel like catching up with my diary yesterday... but I did so anyway. I didn't feel like brushing my teeth this morning... but it's a New Year, so I had to do it! I felt like playing games last night, but I didn't, cause I need to better my habits.
Better start the New Year right.
01/02
It's time to write!
The day flew by and now it's night...
I wonder about this year. I hope it will be bright.
It started without aim, but I'm started getting sight!
At the start of a fretting night... my mother asks me what to do
But I don't know what to say, I just know what to write.
I don't know much of dentists. I'm still too young in life.
I can't decide for her, it's her choice where to go,
All I know is I really oughta brush my teeth like
Thirty times a day! Then maybe I can chew,
Even when I'm as old as you.
01/03
There was a time when I actually wrote a hundred words each and every morning. Sometimes I wrote seven hundred fifty as well. Sometimes I wrote a few reviews, too! How I managed all of this without getting up even earlier is beyond me... so maybe I did get up earlier. Maybe I was just super-efficient back then, but whatever the cause was: I'm trying it again.
It does seem like you're a bit more effective at the dawn of a new day. If you've slept well, at least. You slow down as it goes.
So here it goes.
01/04
This week passed in a blaze.
I woke up with a headache today, but decided to go about my business like usual anyway, went to work, struggled through it, got back... and now it's gone! :) Each time I manage it feels like a victory, though really need to book that osteopath appointment and hopefully rid myself of these plagues once and for all.
The only working cure seems to be: dinner, and magnesium. Take just the right dosage, and even if you're not hungry make sure to eat both lunch and dinner on time - the latter's the big challenge. Zero appetite at this point... but then... it fades away.
Sometimes it doesn't, but for the times it does that's how to do it.
And time in major bathroom visits before a meal, too. That seems to be it. Stomach and mind... it's all connected, in my case at least. Tomorrow, it's time to get up North! Exciting times...
So exciting I'm forty words over the limit. Oh well. NO headache. Vacation tomorrow. Life is awesome.
01/05
So today is the day I travel up North, to see the place we usually spend our summers in a time of year when we're pretty much never there... and leave computers for a while so I can come back a few days later and fill in the days I missed, like I'm doing right now!
It was a nice trip. Snowy. Dark. Cold. Cozy. Warm. Inspiring.
Seeing the place in a whole new light (or lack thereof) was both intriguing and beautiful. There's really nothing like a meter of snow to make it feel like winter, though that said...
01/06
...I'm glad I don't live there the whole year!
We didn't house in the summer place though. That'd be impossible. Too drafty. Too hard to heat up. I slept over at a buddy's apartment, and we had some good food, and games, and long walks exploring the city... until his dad came back from abroad and suddenly the small apartment was a bit lacking of room and difficult to sleep in.
The first two days were great; the latter two a bit of a challenge... but it was good to be there. For a short while. For the real winter.
01/07
Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seven? Seventy sevens, and then some random bits of thought to fill up the empty void. Like: why does aluminum reflect electromagnetic rays, when other metals simply absorb them? Good day.
01/08
I went to Restaurant Two again today.
It wasn't bad, though the salad was a bit more rushed than it was last time (I WAS impressed by how fast I was served though, props on service!), and the wine was alcohol-free... it was my own choice, I just didn't realize it until after, when I was waiting for that awesome relaxing effect (just like magnesium) to kick in... but it didn't. It tasted good, though. The food was good. Good stop.
And I have one more deal at this particular place so I guess I'll be there again soon.
01/09
And today: Noodle Mama.
It's a new fast food concept here in Sweden, with five small cozy restaurants so far. You choose a noodle type (rice), a protein (shrimps), a sauce (wasabi mayo), and they put it all in a bowl, along with a batch of steaming vegetables, and serve it to you within a couple minutes.
Now THAT is fast food! If the place was more popular maybe there'd be a line to slow it down, but the locale was almost empty and I was served with blazing speed.
The food tasted great too. So did the juice.
Recommend.
01/10
Yesterday was the craziest travel day ever! I took the bus from Överkalix, to the bus from Luleå to the airport, to the plane, and all of that went alright (albeit with some delay)... but then a girl on the plane went hysterical and had to get off. Her mother followed. They removed their baggage. It took a while...
On the runway another man tried getting up, and they had to halt the security guide to get him to sit down.
We stopped by a defrost station to fix our wings, and then off we went, trying to catch up...
01/11
When we arrived we did so at the wrong terminal, took a bus to the right one (someone had forgotten a seat so they asked about that before we left), and of course we missed the bus.
Stopped by McDonalds for an hour to eat and play cards, and then off to the next bus! Which broke down midway, so we had to wait for another bus...
It finally arrived, yet the driver was probably inexperienced with this form of transport and kept driving over curbs and such, and we didn't seem to be catching up on our original time...
01/12
...so we arrived at the train station late as well. Just about fifteen minutes delayed - which meant we'd just missed the train with about three minutes.
The next one rolled in, was cleared of people and waited to depart in another 25 minutes... we sat on board and played cards, and when it started going we suddenly started playing really really fast to finish our game... made it just before the next station, which was my stop.
I walked home in a cold winter night, some time after midnight... when I could have been home around ten.
What a trip.
01/13
Today was Restaurant Lagan time. It's a small Indian restaurant in Sundbyberg... but I can't say I got the best impressions from this one.
I felt cheated. The deal price pretty much matched the full price, save for a tiny aperitif. The drink selection was limited, as was the food, and the food I chose turned out to be basically one big pile of saffron rice with barely no vegetables. Disappointing. I would have liked shrimp, but that wasn't in the deal. Only meat.
The portion was generous though. I was more than full, but it wasn't particularly spectacular food.
01/14
Sunday came again!
I love this day.
It feels like the one single day of the week when there's no pressure on anything. Just do whatever you want to, at whatever pace is possible, and if you achieve things then great, but if you don't... well it's alright, because it's a Sunday! The day of rest. Biblical beliefs or no.
My only regret is staying up till 2 yesterday, though I should be training to get up early, prepping at least a little for the days this coming week when I'll have to get up at five.
Gonna be tough...
01/15
I have a day at home today, free to spend on whichever it is I wish to spend it on... which is usually a boatload of overdue dues I'd like to fix up before new ones come in and keep piling.
I've been trying to apply for a credit card for maybe half an hour now, and it just won't be granted! Fiddling with different settings seems to give no different result, though I feel like I really should be in the green for this card. Green card. No problems. One more try and then I'm...
Trying again? Fingers crossed.
01/16
Time's starting to tick down towards my travel day, and I'm starting to get a little anxious... again.
I thought I was over this phase already. It seems like a few days in advance I get the travel fever. but then when the time really comes... it fades. Apparently it's not yet. Hopefully tomorrow.
The flights and hotel is booked, and I've gone through travel times and all such things, so all I really need now is some painkillers (just in case) and to pack my bag... which shouldn't take more than a few minutes. It's only over the day...
01/17
THIS was the single most stressful day in... a long time. I was just so stressed. For no reasons (well, no authentic reasons) I just felt like the whole world was on my shoulders, weighing me down and then... it goes how it goes. It's like how it is. Such is life, and all of that... and all of this. You know the way?
Or so they say! So they say, but then words just ricochet, and come back at you and hit you SMACK and what good will that do? But it's OK yo I'm on a role. Me.
01/18
Then the travel day comes and... all that travel fever's just blown away. Why did I even have it. I feel great. I'm up early but wide awake. I feel a bit excited, but not nervous at all. No headache. I feel like I can take on the world. It's just a day, anyway. Whatever comes my way I'll handle it like a pro. Just so you know: I've got it on lock and load. It's going to go. However it is I won't get tethered by bliss, I'll chase it like it's on e the road. What am I...
01/19
Saying.
New things every day.
I was gone. To Bucharest and back, via Warsaw on the way there, and straight to Sweden on the way back. It actually ended up taking longer than the connected flights with the bus into the city, but I don't mind. I find that whichever way it goes: I've done my time.
Half a week's worth of work in two days... not bad. And I worked two other days. And I just work part time. Full time week; full on vacation... sort of. I did my work's worth, I did.
It's been a good trip.
01/20
See the chrome of nomad shining... and I feel like I want to be a nomad too.
I want to wander wherever the roads lead me. I want to be free and true.
I want to evade all deceit and greed see, and be truant in my moves. I want to be true to myself, and to everyone else, and to the world I'll be even more true.
Because Mother Earth: even though I've done a lot of things in this world, I never meant to hurt you.
They say ignorance is a virtue, but it's not, it's just an excuse.
01/21
I should air out a bit about my biggest fear: sightlessness.
Every morning I wake up and I see blurry. Every day I go about trying to relax my eyes, and improve my sight, yet fear taking the step full way because... what if it doesn't work? What if I'll have to go around with glasses for the rest of my life? The prospect doesn't just seem uncomfortable, but impossible. Never. No way. I just won't do it.
Yet I sit by the computer too much every day, and I know that with habits like this it won't get better. It's a self-destructive cycle, and a constant cause of fear and worry, that I sometimes forget, and sometimes will myself to change... but fall back on old routines regardless. This is where life is these days. The computer. Why doesn't everyone get affected.
01/22
I'm listening to a podcast about restraint, as I write this. Wait... resistance. That's it.
It's a podcast with excerpts from 'The War of Art', and if the wit in the title doesn't give enough of a good first impression, let me tell you it really is a book full of revelations. Just one word into the summary of it and I feel like it's explained everything about my very being.
THAT is why I wait, and stall, and doubt, and don't, and end up feeling like I feel... when all of that can change at any time.
Resistance.
01/23
There came a day when I sat down by the computer, and started writing, and kept writing, and wrote and wrote as if I was smitten by inspiration from the Gods!
And I kept going, and going, and going, until suddenly I stopped... and I could write no longer... because I had no fingers. I'd written so much they withered away; turned into stumps. But I bought some voice recognition software and started writing via speech instead, and kept going until... my voice was gone. But I kept writing. In my mind.
Moral of the story: just don't stop. Word.
01/24
Life keeps blazing by lately, as usual, but I'm getting things done too
Most importantly I've figured out what I need to work with. The bane of my existence, and it's: resistance.
Did I write about this a few posts back...? It came to me as a revelation, and basically what it entails is: I get distracted, and I'm scared of doing what really matters. Scared, or hesitant, or whatever you might call it... whatever the reason: I don't do what I'm supposed to.
So I'm working on changing that. Working my way out of routine and into... the future! Word.
01/25
We had a visit from a friend to the family for two nights. She stopped for dinner on the first day, then barely had time to sleep on the both nights, and left for the airport early this morning... some time around 5.
I woke up around 7. Not sure if there's any relation there, but now I'm awake and sitting by the computer and kinda tired but not tired enough to keep sleeping... so I might as well get some things done!
So far so good, and when I slow down... I think I'll watch a movie.
It'll be a different morning today.
01/26
So it's time for another day of travel!
This time I travel by night. Just after an early dinner I ride away, to my flight, and arrive some time around... late night. Late time. Hopefully though it'll be a great time!
I felt like I barely slept anything the night before last, but this day I'm in a bit better shape, all but bitter but: great!
I'm almost packed, I've eaten breakfast... now all that remains is to spend the rest of the day as I would a normal day, without thinking too much about the impeding travel.
Good day.
01/27
Oh my, was there still a day here?
A box that remained blue? One that remained unchecked?
I feel my fingers slow down... close to stopping.
I'm not sure if I can keep this up.
The temptation to just leave all this be and watch a movie instead crawls upon me, closer and closer, but I've decided to do a certain amount of things before I retire today, so I shall do those things... or at least I shall try as I may.
The sky is my way.
Soar high over normal mortals: like a pebble or grape.
Overthrown.
01/28
Östersund!
It's the latest trip. The town of snow. The place where you can ski all day and the time just sways away, and everything is yay OK, and day's be great... though my brother caught a cold and my nephew has too much on his plate so he finally broke down and and got depressed... I guess: just too many days of going to bed all too late.
He really is ambitious though, unlike I was. He barely has time to spend at home. He's still in school, and he's got a job already. An admirable drive but... too much.
01/29
I amamaniac! Braniac! Zoned-out in my head again - the way it's at I don't think I'll be dead again! Live on like the karma's all that arms me, hold my arms up till the harm is up - stars shine bright I know the farm is cut.
Grass is green. Seeds are sowed. Eden of the East behold. You don't need no power tools: look out at these leafs of gold! Go the road. Go the full: length of all. Go and pull: lengths of tall. Golden bull: I don't think you understaaaand... what is at stake here.
World's turned to a daycare
01/30
I went from work a half hour early today, and made my way to a little family-owned sushi place for take-aways.
I stood there for maybe five minutes while they prepared it. Fast work.
The cashier was a maybe-seven-year-old kid, and the one making the food (and giving orders) was probably his mom. I wondered if it was a family-owned place, but the mom didn't speak too good Swedish, and I don't feel like I'm that age where it's OK for me to talk to little kids. Not anymore... and not yet.
Good food though.
01/31
Alas, the final day! Of the first month of the first year of the rest of my life!
We had a blast with this one. We watched Star Wars.
It's been running a while now, and today was the second to last day they show it in the cinema, and yet the room was PACKED! There wasn't a single seat free. All things considered I'm pretty surprised they stop showing it anyway, maybe they don't, but maybe they're only allowed a limited run...
The Star Wars movies are all blending together now. All the same somehow, but... intense as always.
