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2023 - January

January 1, 2023

The first... it's so strange why this one day feels so overly important to us, when every new day is just as new a day as this one is. As is every week, and every month, and every decade... do we celebrate those more? The start of a decade should feel all the more impactful. I forget.

I do appreciate the boost the New Year gives, in focus and perseverance, and in figuring out life goals and going for what you're truly passionate about, but I also wish I'd treat every. single. day. the same way.

Maybe now huh? Resolutions...

January 2, 2023

Work, and ugh, so tired...

My internal clock isn't working.

I tried to go to bed around 0:30 yesterday, and I did, but falling asleep... that didn't go easily. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours, but I guess I did fall asleep eventually, and I woke earlier than I expected to. But still tired.

And so I've managed to get through the day! But not without assistance. With coffee and vitamins and Ningxia nitro. And throat lozenges, cause I do still have that cold. It's stubborn. My habits probably don't make it better.

I made it... onwards...

January 3, 2023

Finally I can write again!

The batch boxes be buggin' over here.

I'd planned on starting the month with a proper contemplate hundred year post, but it wasn't possible, the batch wasn't available... a day later and it still wasn't available... a day later and alright here we go now.

I doubt my retrospective 1/1 post will be as contemplative now as it would've been then, when the firework haze still drifted and the morning silence was a strange contrast to the previous night. The New Year prospect was clear in our mind...

But so far it's gone well! Yes.

January 4, 2023

Listening to a conversation between Rick Beato and Tim Henson of Polyphia right now. It's way over my head. I can barely play the guitar, and it's a talk on how he's redefining the guitar. Currently they're talking about proper album mixing, and maybe I'll get some pointers there, but for the most part...

I wonder if this is really the ideal way to use my time. Like I should probably be listening to some beginner things that apply to me; that I can learn from and develop with.

But still these conversations are fascinating. Wonder if I learn anything...

January 5, 2023

Took some effort to get up today! I don't usually just lie in bed when the alarm clock goes off, I usually get up, but I guess I'm more tired than usual these days. Same thing yesterday. Maybe I'm thinking I still need to rest up to make sure I'm quit this cold that still lingers in a sniffle, and so when I notice I'm tired I stay put a bit, and attempt to get the most rest of the few remaining minutes I have of early morning leeway...

Feels like a discipline killer though.

When alarm goes: get up.

January 6, 2023

Almost started writing this in Swedish for some reason... I guess I may be a bit tired after all! I didn't think I was.

I actually woke up at seven today, and if you know me (the current me at least - old variants may have had better habits and/or less need of sleep) you'll know that is early!

I didn't get up until eight though.

Good buddy Andreas is coming over today, and I'm kinda hyped up about that! He lives far away these days.

Need to get some work done first but I planned on starting at nine...

Nice surprise. Energetic; early rise.

January 7, 2023

The guest just left...

It feels like it was longer than it really was, but in a good way. I wish it was longer, but we really made the most of the day yesterday, and I was up earlier than usually today too to keep going where we left off.

Good buddy Andreas jumped on the train a little more than an hour ago now and I am back at it, catching up, though there isn't much to catch up on, it's been but a day and a half after all.

Had a blast! Red day. Weekend. Good times. Ciao.

January 8, 2023

New day, new me, new meltwater from a weekend of wonderful winter...

I'm feeling kinda stressed again.

It's not a strange sensation - I get it when I have things to do, and especially with things that feel somewhat urgent, and so right now - as usually is the case in life - I have multiple things amounting at the same time, which has me feeling kinda... stressed. Yes. I searched my mind for a synonym but I couldn't find one.

If I get through packing and preppin' the blog a bit though I feel I'll be fine. Getting to it. Let's due...

January 9, 2023

Helped my sister's boyfriend with his computer today, and got a little $$$ for it, so I'm happy. :) He's a cook too and fixed up a pretty bangin' shrimp salad. Haven't eaten so well in... well since last I was there probably.

What do you do when a Mac won't start? When the fans start whirring, but the power light just blinks, and nothing shows on the screen? I did Google, but no mentioned solutions worked.

Brought over a docking station and salvaged everything on the HDD though. He had no backups. Now he does. :)

Maybe they'll get the computer running later on...

January 10, 2023

Up early but a little nervous, cause I have a lot to do today, I'll be traveling this weekend, and suddenly I have so much internal phlegm that needs vanquishing... surely I can't be on the verge of yet another cold, can I? Surely the last one isn't coming back again; wasn't entirely gone after all?

I didn't recoup as I usually do. I stressed. For a while I did think it might turn into a chronic one, but I've felt pretty good the last couple days so...

Best keep going with those cold showers anyhow. And relax.

Moving on...

January 11, 2023

Finna be a busy today!

I scheduled my daily reviews for the rest of the week yesterday, I gathered together and documented my belated Christmas presents, I got up a bit earlier this morning and fetched a suitcase from the attic, and did some preliminary packing and wrapped in some of my presents, and now it's time for work...

Just about time to eat and wind down when the day's over, and hopefully finish packing pretty quickly. Will be leaving early early morning tomorrow. And I hope I won't be sickly! It's always the fear when a trip draws near...

January 12, 2023

Up to the North again! To Östersund. To visit my brother and his family and have a good time amidst the snow-clad mountains of the anti-Southern Scandinavia areas up the other way. In the middle of a country. With a great lake that unfortunately has so high PFOS levels you're advice not to eat more than one fish per month if you fish it there.

Other than that though it's a grand place.

I wonder if those PFOS levels will wane away with time, and all be good again... I wonder if nature will rid itself of human-imposed chemical imbalances...

January 13, 2023

Karin lost a filling today. Dental filling. Big one. She was eating some kind of candy and it just up and cracked and that was that! And we calmed down for a while, while she gathered her thoughts - she's in pain from a cortisone shot and a herniated disc since earlier - and then we played some games and had a good time after all!

But life must be rough when you're in pain constantly.

I can't imagine what that's like really. I think I'd do alright; that I'd keep going regardless, but how much pain is much pain...

Stay humble.

January 14, 2023

Slept till 11:40 today.

11:40! AM. 11:40...

I walked a lot yesterday. And carried a lot. Shopped. Walked the dog. Brought some groceries to my nephew, who's home sick, and in the end I guess it turned out a bit more exercise than I'm used to, and that I was still a bit sleep-deprived from the day before, the early morning and train ride here, and now I've slept in properly.

Feels like I wasted a couple hours but it also feels refreshing. Can't remember the last time I slept this long.

I feel good. New. Empowered. Powerful. Showered.

Woo.

January 15, 2023

I chewed a piece of gum on the train from Östersund to Stockholm today for something like six hours.

I had sandwiches with me, but I wasn't really hungry initially, and towards the end of the trip it felt like I might as well wait until I was home.

I had a passenger beside me, and I was sweaty, and tried not to move around too much as to emit any unintentional odors thereof.

I rolled up my pant legs after a while.

Finished a five-hundred page book.

Didn't leave the seat.

Kinda proud. Home by midnight. Late meal.

Goodnight.

January 16, 2023

Back from a trip! Tripping. Gotta get a grip. Slipping. Don't know if this is it. I've been going bare-handed do long, with these mittens can I exist? I wish like kittens I felt real bliss. I wish the world was free of ISIS. Free of war and free of crisis. Free of bullies and free of dis. This is, another thing I have on my wishlist, for Christmas, along with all other gifts.

All the more material. Superficial but in cool ways superior.

Until I'm ethereal or aerial: with Arial. I will script.

Good things for world and kids.

January 17, 2023

Hey hey! You, the bold you! The brave you! The new you, not the old you! With stray dues! With too much on your mind, that you wish you could rewind, yet just flay through. Make way. Move mountain. Make do.

I'd like to be a new me, so I could speak to the old me. I'd like to know where I'm going, so that I could control me. I'd like to be a real me, and speak true to the phoney. Me of woe and confusion. You know me.

But it's a new day! I'm moving. new ways.

Yeah.

January 18, 2023

Been going through some posts today.

I still have a bad habit of posting things and revising them later - it probably applies to the things I write here as well, though I never revise here, really, I just plan to... at least I read through before I post. They're shorter here. I catch typos.

But on my own blog I always feel rushed when I write stuff, and so I hit post and plan to give them another gander later on aaaand that stuff amounts maaaan!

Lotta posts since last time. I have dues for days.

Time for a movie...

January 19, 2023

Unexpected job opportunity just came my way.

My nephew called. He works in a different field, but had a call from a client who needed some work done by someone in such a field as mine, and I just work part-time so... we might have something going on here!

Nothing's set in stone yet.

My nephew handles the negotiations. I'd be working with his company. Maybe we'll have a Zoom with the client next week. Maybe I'll be traveling up to Östersund for a week to work with him on project delivery later on.

I've been looking for a side-hustle so... maybe it's happening!

Woah.

January 20, 2023

Just gotta get my brain going a bit...

I have a bundle of other tabs open, ready to post responses in, but my thoughts don't come easy. It seems I'm still tired. I'd probably do better at revising existing posts first - which I aim to do after I'm done with these. To wake up my vocabulary a bit. Read, more so than write. Get the mind moving before I take these fated first steps at actually reaching out to people.

I'm just not good in the morning. Cold showers or no.

Always gets easier after the first daily walk too.

January 21, 2023

New day new me! Every day. All year now. Always. I'm getting better at this.

So much is happening these days though lately. It probably helps keep me speeded. That client my nephew might have... it coincides with the Flash Forward month on NG, and a panel I might be judging, and four movie tickets that expire in a few weeks, and this terrain driving event, and work of course, and I need to finish this one title track that's been on the backlog forever now...

I'm tired though. Need energy. Need to eat healthier. Exercise...

I'm working on it.

January 22, 2023

Oh my, the time, how can you keep up with the time.

I have a week before things start heating up impossibly. Possibly. Need to talk with my nephew - I'll give him a call after this. Projects are looming, and time is running, and I'm resuming... not the best habits always. I play a little. I read a little. I still waste a little time.

In the big whole though the days aren't as big a hole as they used to be! They don't suck quite as much time as they used to. I think I've found... motivation.

Discipline? Maybe.

January 23, 2023

I removed a leaky battery from an old device today, with my hands, without gloves, just touching the center of it with the tips of my fingers as to not get acid on my fingers, remembering an acquaintance told us earlier it wasn't an issue when it's dried up; that it's not acidic then...

Then I went online and did some reading and it turns out that stuff is pretty acidic after all. Not dangerously so with skin contact - it just irritates - but if you get some in your eye you can actually go blind. O_O

Hmm. Gloves, next time...

January 24, 2023

Oh I missed a day again... yesterday. I'll get to that after this.

I'm plotting to catch a couple movies on the big screen today, because there's a freelance gig potentially coming up quick at uncertain time, and I'll need to have a week or so free when that time comes, and other things are coming up soon, so it seems like February is going to be hella busy.

And I have four movie tickets that expire in the midst of it... best get those sorted first huh? I'm on it.

They're showing Lord of The Rings again for starters...

January 25, 2023

Huuuah... <--- that's something you say in Finland/Tornedalen. To denote aggravation and/or tiredness. Like a deep sigh. Often used to make not of how tiresome and troublesome life can be. When things are weighing you down go Huuuah.

Ok. So. I woke up with a headache today.

I know why, partially. I ate some sugary sweets before I went to bed. I was dehydrated. I woke up at 7 AM in need of water. I was also relaxing after a state of stress.

And I overslept! Fortunately I'm working from home, and it was just by minutes, but still. Ugh. I mean...

Huuuah.

January 26, 2023

I gotta fix my bedtime routines...

Went to sleep at 4:30 yesterday.

I'm up at 11:30 today.

That's not a full eight hours, but I'm still relatively energetic. And that's not the norm. Usually I'm asleep by 2:30 at the latest - recently I've been clocking in around ~1:30, and sometimes even just past midnight, but then I played some AW DS, and figured I'd just play one more map, and one more, and one more and..

This ain't good discipline.

I ate two bags of chips yesterday too. Need to get on track again. Only healthy food today. Sunshine. Exercise...

January 27, 2023

I worked out yesterday. :)

Finally. Things are on the path. I feel good today, though I think I was so hyped up yesterday night I couldn't sleep properly, so I'm a little tired to, and muscles are sore, forgot to stretch chest/arms... but whatevs! I'm getting into it. Have no personal trainer but at this point I feel like I theoretically know how to build up a good foundation; how to vary different muscle groups and build myself up. Though I've never done so at a gym, not regularly, but watched a lot of videos...

The sun's shining today too!

Woohoo. Let's go get some.

January 28, 2023

I had two things in mind for tomorrow, that I thought I'd write down on my wall-side calendar so I don't forget them, and I just forgot one of them. What could it be...

The first item's the gym.

I'd planned to go Friday, but since I went there Thursday I figured I'd rest a day. Today though upper body muscle soreness is even worse, so I'm opting for tomorrow instead. Thinking there'll probably be fewer people there on a Sunday too. Hope I don't just keep postponing these visits, the intention was to go regularly...

But what was that other thing.

January 29, 2023

I'm going to the gym, I am GOING to the gym... I'm up early and I'm going to the gym! It's a Sunday, and I still don't have proper training clothes or a change thereof, but I'll work out a bit anyway, and then get back home and catch my early morning shower as usual here. Eventually I'll get involved with theirs too, and their showers... but not today.

I'm off to work again tomorrow, and it feels like I'd best cram in at least one more workout before the week is over, so here we go!

Half a banana and let's roll...

January 30, 2023

What a work day today.

It's been going smoothly for a while, but it feels like we're in the realm of confrontation again; questioning my capabilities... even if the boss doesn't say so directly I question them myself. I'm working hard, but it's may be more so routine work than finding things that further the business; inventive ways to boost company finances.

I enjoy playing a supportive role though. I think that's why I'm employed, more so than a self-made entrepreneur. Questioning the dues I do pushes me outside my comfort zone, but that probably is a good thing too...

January 31, 2023

Final day of the month now...

I have two of three incremental goals remaining. I have a title track that needs composing, and an actual track I'd plan to run a lap around. With sore muscles now I don't think I'd be wise to try the latter, and I've made sure to schedule in enough dues that I don't think I'll have time for the former either...

But I did accomplish the first goal, to get a gym card, and that's spurred me well on my way towards my other ones. It's just a bit late!

Next month? Maybe then.

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