Hello there! As the expert in review writing as I am I will here teach you the secrets on mastering the reviewing art at newgrounds.com. I will give you important tips and info that will make reviewing a joy that you can spend countless hours doing everyday! Here we go. First of all, I'll show you a simple example of how NOT to write a review, it's taken from one of my flash submissions :
This is not a gif. host site. Don't subit things like this again, this must have taken you about 6 seconds to make.
So why is this review bad? It contains six factors that no review should contain.
1.) States the obvious : "This is not a gif. host site" If someone is submitting a swf file to a community such as Newgrounds, they probably know this already. Therefore this statement is completely unnecessary.
2.) It has nothing to do with the submission. What do gif. hosting sites have to do with any specific flash animation? That's like going to the Zoo, seeing a monkey eating a banana and saying "I'm Hungry". Sure, these two items are related since the Banana is a form of food, the monkey a prequel to the humans in the evolutionary line and seeing a species consume foodstuff to satisfy their internal urges makes people hungry, unless these people have eaten already and are satisfied. Everything's related, but only directly related items should be included in a review.
3.) The . goes on the left side of the gif extension, not the right. Does the reviewer even know what GIF stands for? Does the reviewer know the definition of the abbreviation GIF? Probably not. The third point is: Don't make false statements or write about items that you know nothing about.
4.) Spelling. "Don't subit things like this again" is a line with only one spelling mistake in it, and it still gives the impression of utmost unproffesionality. Reviews are short pieces of literature, you have to be a grammar nazi to battle your opponents. In the case that you don't like a submission, then the opponent is the submitter.
5.) Demands. Lets go back to the previous quote : "Don't subit things like this again". Why not write demands? Well, for starters, the authors ( most of them, at least ) are humans, have emotions, an ego, and do not like being ordered to do things by insolent fools who break the 6 grand laws of reviewing. So, instead of writing "Get the FUCK OFF NEWGROUNDS", you should write "Please, get the FUCK OFF NEWGROUNDS". Also, tell them why they should get off newgrounds, backing up your statements is important. Don't break rule NR1 and say "because you suck", but be creative instead. Tell them why they suck. Give them criticism that will help them improve and let them NOT suck in the future. Try to be as kind as possible, flaming won't get you anywhere, and the more insulting you are, the less insulted your opponent will be. Instead he will get angry and flame you back, and what good does that do? Nothing. He should either be sad, leave newgrounds, or try harder next time. This i kindergarten grade psychology, which most NG users don't seem to understand. Ok then, on to point 6.
6.) Don't make false assumptions! Here's the quote from the review above - "this must have taken you about 6 seconds to make". To skip this misjudgment, don't guess the times of anything. Instead use sentences like "This probably didn't take much effort", the probably showing the submitter that you aren't sure, it's just a guess. If you write it like that it's all good.
Those are all the faults in the review, so here are a few more tips you should think about when reviewing :
7.) Review all the different aspects of the submission. Don't say things like "The Sound sucks" and leave it at that. Point out that sound isn't that good, but also comment on the animation, the graphics, the plot, the humor, the originality, the concept, etc. This also tends to make your reviews long, and your reviews should be long. They shouldn't be filled with useless information that break the rules 1-6 though, better a short and informative review than a long and pointless one, but better a long and informative review than a short and informative one.
8.) Be kind. Flaming may get out all your anger and frustration, but the submitter won't like it. He won't take your feedback seriously. Also, there's a big chance your review will get marked as abusive, and we never want to get our hard work deleted, do we.
9.) Be constructive or positive. This point should be pretty logical. Reviews are meant to deliver some kind of feedback to the submission author. Either you're positive, and tell the user how much you like the submission ( makes them happy ) or you're negative but still tell the user what could be improved/done differently. Better yet, be both constructive and positive.
10.) Leave a signature. Everything great has to have a brand of some kind. When it comes to reviews, the simplest method of branding them is adding a signature at the bottom. This makes your reviews special, and above all it makes the reviews look longer. Also, try to keep it as simple as possible so it will save you writing time.