Damnit I can't focus on anything! As soon as I get today's great assignment done I can do what I want. I can relax, I can do anything, none of my other projects have a fixed deadline. Why can't I focus?
I'm not being in-efficient, but I've learned the hard way that you're most efficient when you get closure on your projects. When one project is done, you can move onto the next one. When you try moving onto the next one without finishing the first one, you'll keep thinking of the first one and not get the next one done. It's a vicious... line.
And why am I writing this? Because I'm waiting on a file transfer and I don't like doing nothing. I'm transferring files because I'm procrastinating. But I see this as a form of motivation. Ranting about what bothers me motivates me to take care of it. Like when I wake up in the morning and count to ten in my head. If I actually get up at the count of ten, I am content with my effort and proceed to be content with the rest of the day. If I don't, then even I know that my willpower is lacking and I will obviously fail at all tasks I attempt to perform during the rest of this per-planned period of time.
That's what you call waking up on the wrong side of bed. Though in this case, it's a conscious choice you make. You can get up at the count of ten if you really want to. So go on, do it, don't wait, don't live with the illusion of progress, don't make the conscious choice not to progress or to not greet the day when you have the chance. Get up. Start working. Accomplish the goals you set before you.
If it just so happens that all that happens in life is random and what you plan is of no consequence, you'll still be better off doing what you set out to do until the time comes when some amazing opportunity pops up in your path.
Motivational message of the week, there you go.
Or maybe it's the message of the month, cause for some odd reason I'm feeling particularly motivated today. Right now (yes I am aware that doesn't make sense since I'm not doing what I should be). Is it the sunshine? Is it the fact that I accomplished more than I hoped for yesterday? Was it that I did get up at the count of ten this morning?
No, it wasn't. I woke up at 5:20 and decided to get up at 7, but the next time I looked at the clock it was 8:20. Late. At that moment I had already convinced myself that today would be shit, subconsciously.
That realization sank in as easily as a rock sinks in water, and it took more than a walk to get rid of that misconception. It took some actual working. It took a very strained initiation into being efficient despite this lack of motivation and understanding on how life turns out like it does because of how you believe it will turn out, and what you do, and that wallowing in despair and depression is what will effect the way life turns out, and not the other way around, that you wallow because life turned out that way.
So get up off your lazy ass you lazy-ass man, keep your mind busy, don't ponder how your life will be in a few years if you keep doing the same things, don't wonder what you did wrong in the past, don't consider that your jaw feels sore and might be dislocated again. The pun's been done, but like Nike: take a hike. Do it.