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Scary Movie 5 (2013)

Scary Movie 5 (2013)

Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Terry Crews, Mac Miller, Snoop Dogg, Mike Tyson, Usher - the characters align in minor somewhat relevant-to-their-real-life-counterpart roles, and try to make things funny. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it's just... too expected? Too much? The scenes in the cottage in the woods (revisited) were surprisingly grotesque, but apart from that very-well-done but slightly disturbing scene, it keeps going with the same old same old. An entertaining same old, mostly, but a same old nevertheless.

I'm not sure I like the stop-motion type filming for some scenes either. It's an interesting touch, but in my mind it feels like a big cheat to cheapen stunts and special effects. They might be able to do things they couldn't do without, but it doesn't look real, and thus it doesn't look very good. It breaks the illusion somewhat, considering certain other scenes do look good: not always real, but convincing enough.

The story's a mesh of all types of movies - not just scary ones, and I think you get more out of it if you recognize them all. Most notable references are probably Paranormal Activity and Cabin in the Woods/Evil Dead, and the main story is that of Dan Sanders (played by Simon Rex) and Jody Sanders (Ashley Tisdale) moving into a house to live together with their newly found kids who just spent a few years out in the woods getting raised by what they first think is an imaginary character they call 'Mama'. Course, she's not really that imaginary at all. She looks a lot like that one girl from The Ring too, but that seems like a common look in scary movies...

In my book, nothing will ever really compare to the third segment in this series, and I miss Anna Faris - who's had such prominent parts in pretty much all Scary Movies prior to this, though Ashley Tisdale was a great replacement. They all kept the entertainment levels steady throughout, though rarely in such levels where you really laugh out loud.

I barely remember the older Scary Movies, but I'll be re-viewing those soon. This was a pretty good watch.

 rated 3/5: not bad

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Man Of Steel (2013)

Man Of Steel (2013)

Yes he is awesome! When General Zod comes back from exile, to reclaim the codex and rebuild the falling Krypton, only Clark Kent - Kal El by birth name, stands to stand in his way. A life-changing Earth-threatening battle takes place, and yes it was awesome!

It all starts at the start, when Zod stages a coup, and Kal is sent to Earth, as his father dies and the planet crumbles beneath him. On Earth he grows up, and then roams the planet - a stranger in his new home, looking back on the time's of old; where he grew up. One day he meets Lois! And they save the world... sort of.

It's an inspiring tale, and so unlike the old Superman movies it's like he's not even Superman anymore. I can see why people might not have liked the new you, Superman - or the moody setting, but I did like it. Henry Cavill plays our grand protagonist nicely, Amy Adams the dame in distress, powerhouse Laurence Fishburne an editor, and Michael Shannon the vicious villain. Russell Crowe is the father.

They're an elite cast, and though the battle at times goes so overboard you wonder if they won't end up accidentally destroying the planet in the process, it all ends simply, on Earth, with head in hand, and the remnants of a lost race at war with the ones they might've lived beside.

Compared to other Marvel movies (oh wait, it isn't!), it feels more out of this world than the norm, but that's how great it is, too. I hope I don't overhype it, but it was pretty awesome, all down-to-Earth scenes in between. Great watch.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Despicable Me 2 (2013)

Despicable Me 2 (2013)

Despicable Me really wasn't bad either. The first one wasn't bad, and neither was this one. In fact, this was way better then the first, not only with the main character moving further and further away from the evil schemes of world domination, and finally coming to terms with his emotions and fostering a family, to meeting Lucy - a pretty spectacular spy! Spectacular as in = interesting.

The script's plenty eventful, and the minions are always in the background too, so even when there isn't there's always something going on. I guess that's where this and the Megamind franchise draw apart, in how the former somehow seems toned down without such a surplus of sidekicks, even though the script was sooo much more pun-drunk and polished. That's the reason I still can't seem to give these movies the credit they're due - because another movie took the fall for their spotlight.

I have to admit it though: they're not bad. The drawn-out and mostly-undercover chase after the nefarious Macho man and his giant magnet is a most entertaining venture, and thanks to those countless yellow (and occasionally purple) critters it never gets dull. It's a blast from start to finish, with a little relationship drama along the way. Good watch.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Iron Man 3 (2013)

It starts with a quote, and then rhetoric, and then a party, and then: Jensen! Nah, he's irrelevant now. He's just a familiar face, but it's good to see him anyway. A few characters of Tony Stark's dark and forgotten past make a re-appearance here, which is great, though of course they're all there as an excuse to write some sort of origins story, when really: it's all new.

Not that new is a bad thing. It goes back to the start. Forget all that mass-produced army stuff, and forget weaponization - there's just the one Iron Man, and the Iron Patriot, and that's all there is. And instead of being cast into a the dungeon to repair his suit, he finds refuge with a little kid: this time not to build but to repair: both his suit and himself.

There's also this DNA/nanotechnology thing, and DNA junkies, and demons of the past (and hey, there's Jensen! Wait I said that already...) but anyway, it was a good movie. It had convincing villains in style with the first, and a plot that goes full circle, relational drama and action, and plenty of suits, too. It's not an army, but it's something similar.

The eccentric Tony Stark is as witty as ever, and his sidekick Colonel James Rhodes has a few moves up his sleeve too, as does the notorious Pepper Potts. Intrigue's good, script's good, the story's not as overblown as it was in the second, and we don't get too much of the facial-cam either. It's a hot movie. Fiery. Balanced and burning. And if this is a trilogy it's a worthy ending.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Grown Ups 2 (2013)

Grown Ups 2 (2013)

Grown Ups aren't that bad, really. I don't mean the category - this aged and lost group of humans, I mean the movie. It's a cheesy, poopy, goofy, immature type of movie, but if you don't mind that kind of Goofy Movie there's plenty of fun to be had here.

Regular and irregular days mesh together, with a bunch of guys hanging around, and talking, and interacting with people, and eventually coming to terms with all that's most important in life: their relations to the ones they hold dear. And also some pretty crazy things happen.

The special effects are pretty crappy, but they go well with the script. It's nothing fancy, nothing classy, but a decent dose of entertainment nevertheless. There's some flips, some stunts, and one awesome fight at the end. Sometimes you think it's not that great, but there are some surprisingly elaborate details along the way, like that foldable drink table. It's not bad.

 rated 3/5: not bad

Matchbox Twenty Sixteen

Burn burn flame.
You can be the greatest flame in the world.
You can be the greatest flame on all of Earth.
You'll never stay the same, if you never change,
Because change is part of us: change is what we blame!
You grow greater and greater, until you've burnt regret,
So burn burn flame, and I'll never forget,
I'll always hold this box in which you hatched.
Burn burn flame: until you have no match.

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