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Pimped (2018)

Pimped (2018)

Two twisted housemates lure an unbalanced woman into a sexual trap, with murderous results.

Well that was psychotic. Not the story I'd expected at all. Not the lonely-girl-needs-help, mostly sexual and sadistic tale of an abused young female but... vice versa. Focus on unstable. A simple meeting leads to someone getting killed, and then it all goes downhill. It's dark and gritty and ends on... well you'll see how it goes. If you give it a shot.

Depending on your state of mind you might either feel it was all very pointless, or profound, or morbid. It's well-made and twisted, but dark in a lifeless and cold way rather than a nerve-wracking one. Reminds me a little of Gone Girl, but a bit more chancy. A bit more spontaneous, and eerie in how it shows how twisted paths the little steps in life can have you take.

It's refreshingly uncertain that way, yet with very little sense of threat, and violent moments that aren't accented more than necessary. Emotional but not in a rationally scared and relatable way. Like a psychopath could've directed it. Who knows.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Sharknado 3 - Oh Hell No! (2015)

Sharknado 3 - Oh Hell No! (2015)

Bond intro hell yeah! From the beach, to New York, to Washington, they're at it again. Fognado, theme park, presidential chainsaw, Nova, Nascar, military planes, space... this is the one where the crazy started. It's also the one where Hasselhoff is first introduced, so there's something at least.

It's not quite as down-to-Earth as the first two, but you can't not like it either way, and it has a few new and appreciated cameos, like Chris Jericho.

Overall it's another entertaining segment, but moving into unsteady ground, to inconsistencies and more special effects.

And those special effects are still the weak point.

 rated 3/5: not bad

Sharknado 2 - The Second One (2014)

Sharknado 2 - The Second One (2014)

Fin and the Sharknado go to New York! They meet up with his brother, April loses her hand and things go sour, again. Then they take it to trains, and boats, and new levels entirely. It's similar to the first, still with that scary movie atmosphere, but escalating quickly, and going overboard too.

But there was way more focus on the storm in these first two, and the build-up. Script: way better. Acting: props. Props. Action. The ending. Everything but those special effects...

There's also Kelly Osbourne, Kurt Angle, Vivica A Fox, Mark McGrath... all of a sudden a lot of famous names are popping up here! And Ian Ziering as the one and only Fin: Destroyer of Sharks. The franchise really started as the good kind of B-movie franchise, crazy but in a consistent and continually creative way, before it just went totally out of control in the latter trilogy.

As the news report says: This is a twister with teeth. Enough said.

 rated 3/5: not bad

Sharknado (2013)

Sharknado (2013)

When a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, nature's deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorize the waterlogged populace.

The first one was more like a horror movie than any of the latter ones, and maybe it should all have ended with this one. The props were on a whole other level here. The atmosphere was different. It was easier to relate to, insane as the premise may have been right from the start. Everything was on a whole other level - even the CGI! Though it still is, unfortunately, the one thing where the movie really comes short. The fire, the sharks... some bits just don't have what it takes. The props and blood otherwise: props.

And Nova (Cassandra Scerbo) turns out to be my favorite actor in the franchise from day 1, with Tara Reid not quite as convincing. I'll miss John Heard and the other guy too. Good dudes. Good movie. Good riddance, sharks.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Sharknado 6 - It's About Time (2018)

Sharknado 6 - It's About Time (2018)

Time for some Planet of the Aprils, and time travel taken to the next level, with both the past and present and modern-day as our heroes keep on following the Sharknados to their source, via the footsteps left by Fin's son through time... unfortunately I guess Dolph Lundgren was a one-shot thing. Two action heroes too much for one movie, maybe?

Ian Ziering didn't really seem in shape when the movie starts, but he gets back to his old form soon enough, and through the times some familiar characters you might've expected to be dead in previous ones start appearing again, until they're pretty much all one big happy family once more. But then things happen and some of them stay behind and sacrifice themselves, and you know how it goes.

The plot's a real mess at this point, and the special effect badness matches the fourth one (which was bad), but I do appreciate the trips and little bits of history they change along the way, Back to the Future references, and the duality of the title. It really is, but it was a fun ride while it lasted too. It goes back to origins with this finale, eventually, and ends in a good way.

Now that it's over I'll probably miss not having any sequels to complain about the CGI in, but who knows, maybe they'll get something started again. Semper paratus. It wasn't a bad series after all.

 rated 3/5: not bad

Sharknado 5 - Global Swarming (2017)

Sharknado 5 - Global Swarming (2017)

The last Sharknado was pretty modern, but this one takes it back to the ancients, tracking down the source of the Sharknado phenomenon. Apparently they've happened before, and our ancestors actually found a way to defeat them once and for all.

Time for some Indiana Jones and Alien vibes all over!

They're still destroying national treasures though. Last time it was around the US, and this time it's the world. Starting with Stonehenge, then Big Ben, Sydney, Rome, Brazil, Okinawa, The Queen, The Pope, The Prime Minister, The Pyramids, Sharkzilla, Safarinado, Potnado, time warp paradoxes, teleportations and Dolph Lundgren.... it never ends.

And Bret Michaels?! It's a short but appreciated cameo. There's also one really good moment of acting. Props Nova. And the witticism...

Forgive me father, for I am Finn.

The puns never end with this one!

The actors seem better, the special effects were definately better... everything's better really! I really enjoyed this one. Maybe it just seems so much better because the fourth one was one of the worst ones, but I still really enjoyed it. So despite some bad effects I'll rate it accordingly.

And it's in memory of John Heard. I'ts like they saved the best one for him.

Rest in peace.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

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