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6-Headed Shark Attack (2018)

6-Headed Shark Attack (2018)

Time for another shark movie, but it's really not a bad one this time - despite the title!

It's about a group of people taken to an island to undergo a form of couples therapy, but it just so happens a horrible experiment has gone wrong on that island, resulting in: The 6-Headed Shark.

So it's got a backstory, and it's got a good main character - it's even got some girls (hey Nikita Faber). It's got beaches and oceans and everything! It's got drama too. Intensity. A sense of desperation, and relational twists along the way.

The only thing it does not have is good special effects, and unfortunately some gigantic limitations there draw down the score. It is what it is.

I know shark movies might not be a particular subgenre where you need realism but... it needs more than this.

Props Brandon Auret on playing a pretty tough-looking main character too, though some scenes... could've used some additional takes. Or a stunt double.

Keep up the work though! Y'all were not bad.

 rated 3/5: not bad

Death At A Funeral (2010)

Death At A Funeral (2010)

You never know what might go wrong at a funeral, but usually things don't go this wrong! In this case it's everything.

Maybe most notably the Valium goes missing - only it's not really Valium, a midget shows up with an unwanted secret, Uncle Russel's in a bad mood, Derek still wants his girl back and Ryan and Aaron just can't get along.

Both intrigue and comedy is set at an early stage.

And the actors are fantastic. Props James Marsden on maybe the best performance of all.

Chris Rock - though he holds a lead role - is probably one of the least funny characters here, but they're all iconic in their own way. If they don't have you laughing out loud they at least have you smiling, or recognizing certain quirks and personality traits you can relate to. It's a big family, and a big set of folks outside the family too.

It's a movie about a funeral, and as such it's all set in a single place, but they really make the most of it! When it's over you wish it never would have ended after all. How the most mundane things are turned into such memorable moments: I'm always impressed when they manage that.

I watched this one a few years back, and a few years before that, and I'll probably watch it again in a few years. It's that good. Like Rat Race or Shaolin Soccer, it's just one of those movies you can keep coming back to.

Props Kevin Hart, Martin Lawrence, Tracy Morgan, Danny Glover, Keith David, Columbus Short, Regina Hall, all the above and more, who all go above and beyond in this should-be comedy classic. It's not often you get these many awesome peeps in one movie.

I haven't seen the old version of the movie with the same name (there's a dominantly white cast in that one) but I doubt it compares to this. This is just comedy with the perfect kind of crazy, so much of it thanks to James Marsden - but it wouldn't be anything without their chemistry all together.

A funeral may not not seem like the ideal occasion to celebrate life, but in some ways it is, and as the main characters overcome their fears, and trials, and bond during the hardships they face together... it feels like that's what it is about after all. It's what comes after. It's about letting go, and moving on, and celebrating what has been and what will be.

Life after death.

It's not all that contemplative, or complicated - that's just me - but y'all made something amazing with this one, and at the same time you peeled away a layer of negativity surrounding that aforementioned event.

I can see this becoming one of those comedy classics I keep coming back to, again and again - though it's more than just comedy.

I'm just repeating myself at this point. Conclusively, this was, yet again:

 rated 5/5: friggin awesome

Danger One (2018)

Danger One (2018)

One night, two guys in an ambulance pick up a guy in a car crash, who unfortunately dies in their ambulance, but not before they discover his coat is lined with one million dollars worth of cash.

The first death is unintentional, but as they look at that money, that probably nobody else knows about, they start getting ideas... and as the night progresses there come deaths that aren't all as unintentional.

The Danger One is the ambulance, and the drivers become - in part unwillingly - involved in something so much bigger than themselves.

It turns out some people did know about that money after all, and both keeping it, and keeping it a secret, and keeping alive becomes all the more difficult as the dawn draws near.

It's a movie with somewhat limited scenery, and cast, and not anyone I really know that I know, but they all make a great thing together.

The props feel real, the blood feels real, the setting: a strange kind of comedy and action blend, all blends together well. The occasional budgetary special effect pops up to lower the score a bit, but overall this was a solid one. A different one. An exciting one.

Danger one. They got it done.

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

Do Women Have A Higher Sex Drive? (2018)

Do Women Have A Higher Sex Drive? (2018)

Short answer: yes they do!

If you've ever wondered about the female libido, other biological differences between the genders, the dangers of birth control pills, cultural differences between times and places, the polygamous cultures of old, mating selection, the masculanization of the world via conquest, midwifery and witchery, modern feminism, the church, Playgirl, movies directed by women, Fifty Shades of Grey and everything in between: this is it.

It may not have the best interviewer (don't get me started on all those 'really's), or the most natural interviews, but she does shed light on some really interesting topics, even if it's most definitely both directed from, and towards, a more female perspective and audience.

It feels like they do try to keep it bias-free, though. Cater to all audiences. Take up the topics above in a way that'd interest everyone, and I do agree: I wouldn't mind seeing more authentic sex scenes in movies either.

If women had stayed on top of the movie directing game I wonder how different the titles we'd be seeing today would be... yet with the surplus of strong female-leads in movies these days I wonder if they aren't getting there again. If men are the ones directing these movies with the female audience in mind it'd explain why I just really don't like these movies.

They feel angled. The new Ghostbusters. The new MIB. It's a trend that brings out the strong woman over man, and yet in a way denigrates (I can't find a better word - enlighten me) her with an added arrogance and superiority that I'm sure neither gender really wants to see. Or do they?

That's beyond the scope of this movie though, and I didn't really get a statistical or definitive answer on who has the higher sex drive either, but I did learn a lot. In terms of content I'd rate this higher, but as for the full picture, interview professionalism and all:

 rated 3/5: not bad

Flashout (2019)

Flashout (2019)

FLASHOUT (90 minutes) SYNOPSIS: Inside a space habitat in a parallel universe, three young women play the blind date reality game InterMate in order to experience the euphoria of the FLASHOUT. Unexpectedly they find themselves trapped on Earth seeking the missing player of their game. They encounter a jogger, a rocker, a biker, an exploitative owner of an escort service, a radio telescope supervisor, and others vulnerable to their ecstatic FLASHOUT. All the while they are pursued by an awkward Reality Repairman whose assignment is to seal the hole between realities before the Multiverse is permanently altered.

This one's a spacey one! Abrim with special effects, and girls, most notably Allison Dunbar (though she's not from the future - hope I'm not mixing together names here - the cast list lacks faces).

It's about a realm where people (girls, in this case) play virtual games, but get tricked into a different world by another player, who seeks to end their universe, but he messes up when he can't get one of the girls to interact with him, so he calls an escort and... hmm? Sounds messy?

That's because it is. It's very messy. The synopsis above probably makes more sense than the plot does within the movie itself.

The acting's unstable and the special effects are all but realistic, but it's not without entertainment value. A e s t h e t i c s. You know.

It's fun, charming, and creatively unique, but not without flaws.

It's a fun and near-decent tale of intergalactic neighbors, that might've been pretty cool with a bigger budget, richer scenery and effects.

But maybe most of all: a more fleshed-out and apprehensible plot.

 rated 2.5/5: almost not bad

Destroyer (2018)

Destroyer (2018)

No it's not about a submarine. I thought that too at first.

It's a typical run down cop story... with a twist. Reminds me of Memento. Hope that's not a spoiler.

Nicole Kidman (she's so in character I had no idea it was her!) plays a killer main character though. It's unusual with a female lead - well at least it used to be, but even more unusual now with a weak female lead. A rundown one, I mean. She's strong in her own way. But a lead that shows weakness, and bad personality traits, while at the same time being female. That's new. Now. That's unusual.

I feel in these overly feminist times that's a rare thing to dare showcase, and thus it's something I'm also happy to see. The world like it is. Nuances.

And she's a pretty bad-ass persona too - run down or no.

The movie's definitely not one of the most positive ones I've seen in recent times though. It leaves you... feeling like you've watched a good movie, but not particularly happy about it.

It's simple. it's complex. It combines flashbacks with real-time in a clever way, family relations and work, existential tidbits, and the time's as much a mesh as the rest of the movie.

It's refreshing that way. Refreshingly truthful too, and dark, even on the bright of day.

The atmosphere reminds me a bit of Dirty - another cop movie with similary saturated scenery, which I both liked and didn't like at the same time. Didn't like mainly because it was plain depressing. And this was similar, though thankfully it also felt like a movie with a cause.

It feels like a new take on the subgenre, and a very personal story that follows a sequence of events that doesn't necessarily seem obvious, or linear, but in the end makes sense after all. I do like this one.

You'll see when it goes full circle.

It is dark, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel after all. It's like a movie made up of those moments you see when your journey's over, and your life flickers in front of your eyes - one last time.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

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