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Resolutions 2020

Grand hopes and visions for a New Year drawing near yeah!

The minutes to midnight are really ticking down now, and I've barely started on my resolutions post... I've been wishing random NG-based accomplices a Happy New Year a while in advance and getting stuck in all kinds of random conversations in the process... plus just ordered a pair of pant pairs and two shipments of nutritious foods - one batch of which was on a New Year sale that ends at midnight, and one smaller batch of which I had a personal rebate for that was set to expire at midnight.

I haven't fully read up on or registered the ISRC codes I'd planned to finally get to this morning or revised the set of posts here that I'd planned to get through before the New Year came waltzing in - or a bundle of other things - but what does all of that matter now? The New Year is soon here, and my stress has momentarily faded. It's too late anyway. So I type away with the seldom seen speed of New Year exhilaration.

With the hopes that good things are just around the corner. Aware that I'll soon be cheering in the great 2021 with my parents and watching a festivity of fireworks set the gloomy skies outside ablaze, as we turn down all lights inside and toast with fancy sparkling apple cider with a hint of lemon and mint. Herrljunga.

I wish I always typed this fast. I wish I always felt this focused and ready; in the moment. I wish I had both the presence and the calm that this guy seems to have.

But maybe I do - if just for a moment - and it's wishes like these that this post is supposed to be all about after all.

But I wish to keep it simple. There's a segment from last year - and the year before - that I'd like to remind myself of once again. The mantra I wish to mold into myself. The essence - I feel - of the saying that excellence is a habit:

Don't wait, but don't haste. Don't hesitate. Don't stall, don't fall, don't all. Don't say "yes" if you stress. Don't do if you are not supposed to. But mostly, a 'can't do' won't do: think instead of what you could do. Be good too.

If I could only become that then I feel like I'd be where I want to be. That I wouldn't look back. That I'd appreciate the moment. That everything would make sense. That I'd be confident in myself and greet each new day as a challenge and opportunity; strive not just to become better but to always be good and to feel fulfilled.

But maybe that wouldn't even be a challenge then. Maybe I'm confusing things. Maybe I oughta just sit down and reflect on my past resolutions. See what I've accomplished so far and what I've yet to do...

Last year I wanted to:

1. Get in shape.

I kept this simple. No specific walk amounts of exercises. Variation goes a long way I said - I just needed to get better at taking care of myself. No overindulgence, no laziness, and no sacrificing exercise time for other dues when I know I need it. Manifest some proper exercise regimes and routines and stick with them, and stay mobile even when I'm at a standstill.

So how did that go? Not really!

Especially during these bleak winter months that motivation comes and goes. Mostly goes. Proper exercise regimes and routines don't manifest themselves, though I have been taking two daily walks every day for at least the last few months now. I can't remember a day when I didn't.

I also started with a six pack training app, that had I really followed through with the exercises would have maybe actually given me a semblance of some av visibility in a month or two. Three-four months later I've yet to finish that first month set. But I'm almost there, and the exercises I've done have been heavy, so they must've done something.

Of course summer provided plenty of physical labor too, and lately I'm playing frisbee golf a day each week or so, and almost dislocated my right shoulder when I tried that with a weight vest on recently. It's taking some time to feel normal again. Oh: weight vests. Going heavy with those.

I wouldn't say I'm in shape - especially not after this very overindulgent Christmas week - but I do feel like I'm getting somewhere. I definitely haven't been lazy either, just occasionally very tired and stressed, and unfortunately my exercise routines don't carry through when it matters the most. Still room to improve on this.

2. Stop stalling.

I'd gotten better at this the past few years, but planned to improve further on this commitment, first and foremost in regard to writing. When I start writing something - I wrote - I shall aspire to finish it, and if it's in regard to a blog post or similar time-relevant item then I shall get it done right away whenever possible. And revise it before I post it. No leftover dues unless they really are necessary.

So... no. Didn't manage this at all. I've managed to write. I wrote and recorded daily verses for two months straight a while ago, and have been keeping up with a hundred words per day for longer, but I do also currently have a backlog of circa a hundred movie reviews left unposted. and then some. I don't feel I've written neither consistently nor ambitiously for most of this year, and I haven't managed as much as I would've liked to.

Still room to improve on that. But with the stalling thing overall...?

Yeah... I mean yeah as in: no. Still room to improve there too. Maybe I've stalled more this year than i did the last one. Maybe involuntarily, with the pandemic getting in the way of all too many a good plan, on concerts, and trips, and virtually all other outside/real-world activities I'd normally engage in. It's wrecked havoc on my mind too. It's lowered my confidence levels and made me somewhat hesitant and weary.

I wouldn't say I'm but a shell of my former self but: a little too much stalling. Need to re-envision this one for the New Year.

3. Leftover 2016 goals.

I said I'd reveal these when I accomplished them but I am not done yet! I have this year accomplished one of three remaining; somewhat large and ongoing items. Maybe next year this particular set will finally be completed and revealed to all. :)

That's it for those resolutions!

Unlike last year my PM box is empty, and my email too. At least the Inbox. I do have a queue. But I'm not stalling. I do what I do. As the minutes really start counting down now and the fireworks start popping off at an increasing rate outside I feel like I'm out of time in regard to in-depth resolutions, so I'll leave it at this: I shall keep up with the previous three, I shall try to be both consistent and spontaneous with my creative crafts, and over the coarse of the year I hope to do mainly two things:

1. Sort my life out! Meet new people, get to a place I feel happy to be at and spend my time in a way that feels fruitious to me.

and

2. Keep making music. :) No elaborations necessary here. I have some things planned - and hopefully a lot of things there's no need to plan - I just want to write, record, and vent away whenever I have the opportunity. And steadily get better at this one particular
skillset while I'm at it.

Among so many other things! But those are the main two.

Happy New!

Mirror Theory

You never truly see yourself.

Only your reflection.

Mirrored.

Opposing you.

Never by your side.

Do you ever truly see yourself the way other people see you?

And do they see you the same way you assume they would? Considering everyone perceives things with certain ocular difference?

If you take a photo and look at the photo: That's you as the machine sees you.

At best the camera can capture you in current lighting; at whatever resolution's currently available; with whatever technological capacity it currently has to perceive and document the world.

No matter how high the resolution; how clear and crisp and colorful the image: it will not be you as you would see you. And it's still an image of you opposing you. Not you from your own view.

There is no way to see yourself the same way you see the world around you, much less from the same place. From a close place.

In a way, as you perceive the world, your own self-image is but a reflection to the world.

That's my mirror theory. Or maybe not theory. My thoughts. I'm growing weary.

The mirror's mirrored. Beware the weary. The air is scary.

Aware, the winners. The mirror, mirrors.

Don't Demand That Things Happen...

Don’t demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well.

Christmas Commission #9

Christmas Commission #9

Official reference seems like an unusually suitable title for this one. :)

Shout out @MANIAK0!

Sucked If You Only Used Mastercard

GOG VISA Giveaway Congrats

Just got that thing! :) So there. Just gotta post this.

My GingerBread Person

My GingerBread Person

Tried a little Gingerbread gadget without a reset button. It's art alright?

Happy Holidays all who stumble by here! Hope you're having some warm and cozy days no matter how strange ways we closely face! Just mosy on and those will fade. Just like the snow that unfroze today.

Whatever the play Happy Holidays!

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