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A Non-Mentionable Little Hillside Garden Dream

I dreamt that I was walking up the hillside.

We were visiting this old dude's house. Not that old, hair distinctively grayed - that kind of old - and wandering through his hillside garden.

It seemed to slope into infinity.

The air was hazy and you couldn't see the end of the slope for all the clouds, but the greenery was lush and the hedges, trees and various garden monuments and decorations were plentiful.

It was the kind of garden you'd imagine seeing by a larger castle, but this was just the one man.

He dabbled in natural remedies I think, and was cooking up some kind of concoction in a large cauldron on the lawn, with a boiler beside it, and some smaller pot or similar.

It was boiling ferociously: the bubbles a constant stream as if someone was in each cauldron/kettle/container breathing our air beneath the surface with never-emptying lungs.

It was something for us. I asked about it. Not sure what he answered.

Regarding who the 'us' was I'm not sure about that either. I was walking around and the rest of 'us' weren't anywhere to be seen, as far as I can remember...

Soon after we were walking through the house though - corridors paneled in dark, polished wood - and plenty of people were sitting on benches along the walls.

It felt like a museum, with glassed-in displays of various figures the man had made.

I looked into a little room curiously, full of wooden sculptures and other artistry that followed the walls, and then walked around a corner and... that's all I remember of that particular part of the dream.

Moments earlier I was climbing around in a sunny, dusty attic, and doing I can no longer recall what... but I wasn't a kid. I felt at home anyway. I think I was just exploring. The sunlight hazily falling in and warming.

Moments before that I was in the car, and I think good buddy Andreas was along for the ride, though not sure where we were going. Maybe to Övermorjärv. I'm not sure I saw the sights, just that we were on our way.

Maybe the dream was inspired by this one beautiful house I caught a glimpse of yesterday, looking for potential places to move.

It turned out to be way beyond my budget though. A nice place by a lake... with renovations worth ca 2,500,000 SEK the last few years. O_O

Alrighty then, I don't think I'll be leaving a bid on that...

But it was a - I think - pretty good dream. Hazy albeit the memory now may be.

I'm writing this more for purpose of practice and relaxation than recollection really. Thinking maybe I'd pick up a few more details as I write. Thinking if I just get into the writing I'll feel better about myself today, too. It worked, somewhat.

Now time to jump into some other more overdue dues...

Feb 21 2019

What a world we live in, it's absurd,
My mother heard two shots, two people got merked,
I guess they gotta do what they gotta do, problem you,
Gangs shoot it out at school a few minutes from us in Bro,

It's a peaceful little small town, a few thousand
People who sleep well while the rest of the world's shouting,
We have a hospital, train station, a few stores
That have all been robbed - last time they rode a truck straight through the doors!

Before that it was a week of peace.
The beggars still sit and plead by the mailbox and ATM machine.
At times I feel I'm dreaming,
I don't feel threatened I just live in this little place

So far far from USA, why do we aid,
The rest of the world if we can't protect our own state,
School's in a wretched state, students stress but get no grades,
Teachers can't do shit, just obey and stay sane...

Politicians are scared of the problems and play games.
And live in parts where they don't see what they start with their brave reign.
We've got no one in charge, we've got no one to march,
We're fractioned brothers in arms, no traction just stumbling arses,

Harnessing no potential, tarnished with this dementia.
These bars aren't here to pretend we're spangled with stars and benevolence.
We are the fence, we harm ourselves when we don't arm ourselves,
With the power to change - apathy takes us far from health.

No more listening to common sense.
No more for the people just christening our wealth.

At least we still have our farm, what else,
Could distract me, from these mishaps that are happening?
It could end badly some day out on a backstreet,
But I'm just mad the people who can don't act they just stand and slander.

We could really make plans grander.
We could use our perspective to improve, not chase angles,
From which you see nothing so you can try naught,
Löfven prying to find a blind spot, my God!

I'm disappointed! It's the second election!
SD are growing but still we keep going in the wrong direction!
It's not about just your pride and ego Stefan,
Look at the streets, and listen to your people!

The corridors of power aren't just a peephole at the Rothchild peyote,
Evil don't need a sequel,
People playing Gods under Gods under Gods,
A pyramid scheme all the way up to the top.

And we got the top narcissist,
The one who wants us to not even start just quit,
The wick's limited see the notes in your sheets,
You'd best prepare your bed so you can sleep well.

Not enjoy the world while there is light!
Scared we might try to reconcile, with all our old pests so wretched and vile?
Abandon the Gods that made us do this! They say the devil's in the details,
We'd better go all Nudist.

I've read the Bible I'm not sure I'd stand for this occlusion.
Our sanity could stand a transfusion.

Devil's in the music we better go all silent,
Devil's in evil deeds but why is the Bible so violent?
And why aren't we advised to try to cure our lives before the afterlife?
Cause all is worthless right.

I'd rather be a good person than believe in God.
I know I'll never be perfect cause we all are flawed.
But I don't want to live my life behind a facade.
If I can reach at least ONE I feel I'll have WON.

And so what if there's nothing after: why be glum?
Why not try to make the most of the time, till your time has come?
I don't mean say fuck it all and leave all in a pile of dung,
But live free, cause we're all but puppets hung up and strung.

And you feel better if you're good person,
Be better, feel better, leave all uncertain on the steeple of old burdens.
Reap greater return and deeper virtues,
Cause you just can't breath under the surface. God will hurt you.

I wasn't planning for this to move to this spot,
This is my world though, a world of new Gods,
Where we choose our path and don't stray by the wrath of the past,
The scriptures still laid in aid and in straps. It's that strapped.

Some people will call it blasphemy, I call it facts.

The world's too full of sinners and psychopaths,
For us to turn to religion just to absolve us of sin,
Let us live like kings just thinking, as long as we trust God
Then we can live by whim.

Do stupid things that we regret but just believe... and you'll still be let in!

I'm not letting you into my home though, you'll have to atone through action!
Think before you act, act like a ___famous actor___
Why do these little kids stay strapped these days, they're not that of age,
I say I don't feel but I guess I do lots, and last night

We heard two shots.

Fake Woke

Facts though.
Stay woke.
Burnt up.
Lack smoke.
Stay broke.
Rap don't.
Slay ghosts.
Real ones.
See this.
Need this.
Feed us.
Sick of.
Be be.
Keep on.
Reach your.


- Bob Axell, inspired by this baggy satchel of thought-provoking act fuel.

(and that's when you hit play again and loop the shit out of ^)

The Old Guard (2020)

The Old Guard (2020)

Imagine if there were a group of immortals roaming the world, who did good deeds without asking for their bidding, who scoured the eons without reason, forged in fire and loss, killing bad guys, sneaking through the shadows into a future all the more clean, yet all the more brutal, all the more greedy; the new villains and big pharma synonymous.

The connection is clear as day, and the names seem as biblical as the backstory - even if the main character seems a disbeliever.

I wonder what the director intended. I wonder what he believed, too.

The actors are great. The beginning feels personal and close, yet professional, with an almost Bond-like atmosphere to it (Casino Royale in particular) as Booker (Matthias Schoenaerts) whisks through the alley.

The Bond impression disappears soon though, with the entrance of Andy (that'd be the gender-neutral name and look for Charlize Theron), as it moves more into the sci-fi and action blend that it is, with good music to accompany the scenes, and a carefully weaved series of events that although sometimes predictable really do hook you in.

I didn't like the first impression you get of Andy, as a not so nice lady at all, but that changes. There's always some attitude, but it's in good faith. Maybe.

What I liked most about this movie though was how it puts time into perspective! Gives you a little sense of urgency. A little reason to live.

The final scenes gave me goosebumps, though maybe it stretched a bit too long after that when it fades away, and it seems like they might have a sequel planned. It was almost too good to be true, almost... but I wouldn't mind seeing more either. Less than a five though that intentional continuation hint/loose end may have led to.

I think I'll make a move right after I finish typing this either way. I'll take a walk, at least. Set things in motion. Who knows what awaits tomorrow.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

The Mercenary (2019)

The Mercenary (2019)

Feels like the spaghetti western era's back, but with a new touch! In modern time. And with a little more action. A new clutch. They're packing the Mac's for... a new rush. Is this mayhaps war? In Pakistan happens things or... whatever land this man is in, let the hand of mad begin.

It starts with slaughter.

One after the other.

Max is masterful at the art of killing, but one day it becomes too much - a comrade tries to kill him - he's left for dead, and in the throes of death he's saved by a priest, starts working at a church, and though you never really know what's going on in his mind it seems like he's found a new path.

Or that at least he's trying to.

Yet his past catches up to him, his former team come back and cause trouble, and his way turns to violence once again. Peace turns to protest. Humans turn to flesh and blood, and Max is left with no option than to do God's bidding another way.


I'm not usually one for religious films but this is something else. It's gritty and peaceful at the same time, with an eerie kind of atmosphere that both reminds me of the old West and of games like Resident Evil 4. I love the mood! I love the fights! The choreography's not all perfect but playful, in a sometimes grotesque kind of way, and it looks real. They manage.

As the credits toll it fades away with a dedication to the director's friends in the French Legion, and the spooky main melody carries on the mood there for a while yet. Feels all the more real for it.

What a gem. Simple but powerful. Only thing that looks a little fake is that burnt-out church.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

Baaghi 3 (2020)

Baaghi 3 (2020)

Here's a tale of two brothers.

A younger, and an older one. A weaker, and a tougher one. One who always comes to the rescue when the other's in trouble. One who looks small but is really ferocious.

They start with a flashback to a time before they've grown up for real and the duo are old enough for romance and real intrigue, and holy moly can that little kid fight even back then!

The dad's a policeman, and on his deathbed he asks that the younger brother always be there for his older one... and that he is. Every time the older brother gets in trouble he calls for Ronnie, and Ronnie comes.

It's a both feelgood and at times pretty serious film, with action sequences on another level compared to say... the last Bollywood movie I watched (Welcome Back, 2016). The dance scenes aren't as many, but the action choreography's all the more impressive, and we even get a glimpse of a war-torn Syria (wonder if it might be real footage too) as the final showdown draws near.

Of course there's some love too. Some flashbacks. The usual. But it's not just Dabbang with relations and sibling bonds, it's impressively polished, in that explosive and slow-mo Bollywood way... at least all the way until the helicopter fight and certain inconsistencies with the final scenes.

Might've gotten a five with a bit more polish there.

It's flashy for way more than a four, and packs both a punch and a message when it's all over. A solid Bollywood banger, and it definitely won't be the last one I see.

Now I do wonder what Baaghi 1 and 2 might've been about! This seemed like a pretty standalone story...

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

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