Felt like writing at a random time. Like I initially intended to do with this place. Somehow it becomes a thing I schedule in and catch up with occasionally.
I used to write weekly summaries on Sundays - which still feels like a nice way to end the week, so I get back to those occasionally too.
But today is no Sunday!
I was sitting in the bath when the urge washed over me to just type away, so here I am.
It's been a good day. My free day this week - I work 3-4 days usually, and I've spent this one playing a couple rounds of disc golf with a cousin, taking a couple walks with my mom, finishing an excel file for work real quick even though it's my day off among other things and now finally taking a bicarbonate bath before I watch the second half of Black Panther (started yesterday - it's good but not as good as I remember it being the first time around) and then get some sleep.
It's been a pretty cumbersome work week so far otherwise, but I was thinking about of how it feels like you really HAVE to push yourself to feel good. I may be a bit more stressed right now but I'm tired in a good way. I feel motivated. It all feels worthwhile. I may not be working with something I'm overly passionate about, and the grand office move is ill-timed with my first planned weekend up North, but at least it's all moving. I'm not stagnating. I attended a webinar on magnesium and calcium and their effects on (and importance for) the body and stuff yesterday. Learned a bit there too. And maybe it'll all work out. Maybe we manage the larger part of the office move next week, and are settled in and ready the week after, with time to spare for my trip at the end of it.
It's a short thing. considering potential office dues I didn't dare take too many days for it, but it'd be nice if I at least manage to help set up a fence for the new garden, maybe fix the greenhouse a bit, and maybe wake my other car out of hibernation and ready it for the gearbox change that it'll hopefully be undergoing this summer.
I don't have too grand illusions. Most importantly I'll just be helping my dad with the driving. It's a twelve hour drive - excluding breaks - and he's getting a little wary of longer distances. If all goes well we'll drive up on Thursday, sleep over somewhere around the halfway point, get settled in at the summerplace on Friday, and I'll have a weekend left. Then back South by plane for a month of work before vacation kicks in for real, at which point the crops are hopefully planted and growing and my parents have things under control to the point we can manage the occasional spare time amidst seemingly eternal gardening routines and renovations...
I've been thinking a lot about that stuff too.
They grow older, and all the more of these dues fall on me. I use up all my vacation time on gardening, it feels like sometimes.
I don't really though. We do other things. The morning swims and late night sauna sessions are elements of summer I wouldn't ever want to be without, I just wonder how it'd be to have an actual 'vacation' vacation sometimes. Where you don't do anything. I get a break from computers, but apart from that the summer days are the busiest ones ever.
It's good to push yourself, but it's good to relax too. Am I growing old? Just feels like maybe after a decade or so of increasing household responsibilities and dues it'd be nice to let it all go for once... but would I like that? I don't like NOT doing anything either. I don't think I'd want to trade my summer routine for anything. The thing I know I do want to trade is my winter one. Change is needed. As for what and how? Hmm.
I felt like I did manage to relax today though. Good golf. Great weather. A really relaxing bath. I'm on a diet lately too. Feels like I'm shedding something. Must be affecting my mood in a good way too.
Do push yourself but take a break when you need to. Hopefully the coming weeks won't feel too lethal. That good things I will see through! And I'll see you in a sequel post - whenever I've feels to write or deeds due.