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Hard Hunted (1993)

Hard Hunted (1993)

A sensual, softcore action thriller directed and produced by a real-life male/female couple? This oughta be special...

And it was! The line delivery may seem a little artificial and off, as do the encounters, but the ladies look good... and so does everything else. The guys too I guess. This one's for everyone.

The choreography's not the best, nor the acting, nor anything at all really but... the visuals! The sceneries. It's a movie that puts living lavishly into perspective, and it does have a few explosions, a fancy helicopter and one highly entertaining showdown with a hovercraft by the beach. Flipping that table into the water can't have been intentional either can it?

I'd love to give this a high score but it really wasn't good. But so wholesome, and appealing, and full of sunshine, sensuality and fun time. Refreshingly dreamy. It's a glimpse into another world, how this one would be if it was paradise maybe... though they apparently do have bad guys there too.

It adds some spicy though. To life; to the adventure. Fun watch.

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

Cyborg 009-1: The End Of The Beginning (2013)

Cyborg 009-1: The End Of The Beginning (2013)

That doesn't really explain the plot at all though, does it? It's about vengeance, and truth, and a search for self starring one particular spectacularly beautiful female cyborg spy (Mayuko Iwasa), who during a routine mission runs into a family member she thought she didn't have, only to lose him again, for the whole world to turn against her, and all things she took for granted in the world to suddenly become obscure and untrue. Who is she really. Who's she working her. Why's she here...

It's sensual, savage, beautiful. A little like Alita Battle Angel but darker. GITS-like too, somewhat? Not as sci-fi though. It's future-city dystopian but not as far. Cyberpunk definitely. Cyborg's in the title. The HQ a little like the I-Robot one too. I-Cyborg? Inspirations?

If only the special effects were better this could've been one hell of a movie, but as soon as the helicopter appears you know you'd better prepare for some shitty specials.

The fight choreography's great though. The three on one fight especially was brilliant. Even if the main characters clearly aren't the most versatile fighters for real they direct it in a way where they seem to be, and every single encounter feels ferocious... except for maybe the pool one.

The characters too. The cast. The twists and all. Blood and gore. Just a little polish; a little slowed down pace and time to get to know people, to build things up, and this would've gone way higher.

I wonder if they made an anime for this too, maybe that one goes deeper...

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

Hotel Transylvania (2012)

Hotel Transylvania (2012)

Deep in the woods, in an unexplored peak and valley landscape hidden in mist, surrounded by graveyards, Count Dracula has raised his daughter, and is now preparing for her 118th Birthday Party and the fated day when she's finally allowed to go out and see the world.

Though he has other plans, hoping to keep her locked away forever. From the humans.

But then of course a charismatic sample of said human race stumbles in and wrecks havoc upon his world.

Or more like: starts the party for real.

And falls in love with his daughter.

And vie versa.

It's such a feelgood movie. Not only does it have Adam Sandler doing the voicing (same as Despicable Me - wouldn't mind another actor though) but Andy Samberg, and Kevin James, and Selena Gomez! And a bunch of other voices you might recognize.

The animation's fun, the castle atmospheric, the script takes you places, and maybe most importantly it's got that ZING. And a lot of it too.

It's a simple concept but they really took it places. Don't remember what other animated movies came out in 2012 but this just might've been the best one that year, and a lot of years for that matter. Thoroughly enjoyable, wholesome, never dull, but not too fast-paced or ferocious either. Just right.

Hope to visit this hotel again soon, though doubt subsequent visits will match up to the first.

 rated 5/5: friggin awesome

Kill Zone (2005)

Kill Zone (2005)


Cops and robbers. Surveillance. A ruthless gang boss and dirty cops. It's that kind of movie.

It's also another Donnie Yen classic - I've seen it at least a couple times before, and another tragic one. Even more than last. This is the Sammo Hung one. And the Jing Wu one. And once again, there's w wife and daughter involved, but this time they just so happen to be on the wrong side of justice...

It's a bit more brutal than Flash Point, a bit more movie-like with the criminal element - or maybe just with a different style.

Jing Wu has a tragic role as usual too... hope it's not like that for him in real life all the time too.

 rated 5/5: friggin awesome

Ballistic Kiss (1998)

Ballistic Kiss (1998)

I knew this was the sad one. The classy, sensual, classic Donnie Yen + sad one.

There's a lot of blue. There's a little Léon The Professional inspiration with the elevator scene maybe. There's red too. There's flashy gunfighting, and speedy running, but unfortunately bad aiming, and the 'I don't miss' mantra quickly loses value as the movie progresses.

The romance keeps it strong though. Without that it'd be just another half-assed romantic action movie, fierce and smokey or no, but when they start talking of the injustices of the world and all, and share their final moments on the steps of the glass factory... well, you know, it's not bad after all. Just sad.

The hitman scene was a highlight too, and I wonder if the black dude was the same guy as in Tiger Cage 1/2, but overall it wasn't as amazing as I remembered it... I thought there'd be a bit more sensual stuff too. Maybe a good thing there wasn't though. Kept it classy. Somewhat.

Still though. I gotta give it a careful four. It is what it is. A classic. Ballistic Kiss.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Extinction (2014)

Extinction (2014)

Reminds a little of the Blair Which Project. Mixed up with a little
Jurassic Park.

It's a documentary-styled fictional venture into the uncharted forests of a parallel future, with a slightly annoying cameraman doing most of the narration and occasional reaction.

That said it wasn't as bad as I was expecting a few minutes in. It feels real. The camera shakes a bit too much occasionally, but for the most part it feels sloppy in a realistic kind of way. Expressions. Camera motions. Lack of make-up in the morning. The little things. It feels spontaneous to the point it just might have been choreographed masterfully and most of all real. Cause that's what they're going for, of course.

We also see a nice snake, and a few bugs, a nice dinosaur prop and a desperate farewell but... it doesn't feel 100%. And with this type of movie it feels like it has to, to really go all the way. Props on the reverse psychology with the 'no they'll probably think it's just a hoax' though, even if it rhymes badly with the more cliche ending. Retour. Sequel potential. Ominous road trip again.

It really wasn't bad though. If you really immerse yourself it may jump a rating.

 rated 3/5: not bad

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