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Ator The Fighting Eagle (1982)

Ator The Fighting Eagle (1982)

Following in the footsteps of Conan The Barbarian, here's another movie of the old world. Of love, and war, and the mythical realm that came before the current one where science seems to have killed our magic.

It may not be as flawless as Conan was - the threat levels never feel even remotely similar either - but the atmosphere does, and that's the good part.

The mystery's there. The darkness and theatrics and closeness to the elements.

A little witchcraft. A little shadow and mirror magic (could the mirror room in the second Conan movie have been inspired by this one scene?!).

It's got some moments, and how often do you see an actual bear cub in a movie too?

Also don't miss the shield of Mordor. The shield that 'wards of death'. Aha. There are snakes, spiders, witchery and woman to their breadth too. The budget level may not be on par with the other but they still managed to make it all better than I expected.

Shame about Roma though. And imagine if Conan had been the main character here too, his expressiveness just might've upped it all just enough to make this a real cult classic too...

 rated 3/5: not bad

Secrets Of A Nurse (1973)

Secrets Of A Nurse (1973)

It's like the Godfather of hospitals this one. A story of malpractice that builds slowly. The doctor seems so charismatic at first. It doesn't feel like there's really anything bad at play, but as it progresses you start to doubt...

I thought this'd be an exploitation movie, but it's nothing like that. It's an education movie. As close as you'll get to a big pharma revelation of the seventies, with pompous sound as the credits roll, and a fascinating glimpse into the hospitals, interiors and people of the time - things like the bus with the exhaust pipe on the roof too, but entertainment-wise... it is a little lengthy and a little too talkative, without all the momentum you might've hoped for at the end.

Good though. An intriguing and scary glimpse into another time, and a place you'd rather relate to goodwill only, but in certain circles... I'm sure it's still not all that different today.

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

The Hitman's Wife’s Bodyguard (2021)

The Hitman's Wife’s Bodyguard (2021)

The bodyguard Michael Bryce continues his friendship with assassin Darius Kincaid as they try to save Darius' wife Sonia.

Do they really call this a friendship though?! The level of suffering that Ryan Reynolds continually goes through, the amount of blunt trauma he withstands - at times seemingly turned into a human rag doll, the way he turns this pain and agony into a comedic element... it's pretty crazy. I don't remember the first one being all as catastrophic on his behalf, but maybe it was. It definitely makes for an unconventional main character duo - or trio - and gives you a strange blend of both feeling his pain and helplessly laughing at it. Just like Kincaid does. But it's not with ill intent on my part. That's just his character.

And Salma Hayek as Sonia is maybe the wildest Salma Hayek I've ever seen! I love it. I love the mimicry. Both between her and him and her and her man, and between all three, and between them and everyone else. It's all gold.

The little bit when Ryan's miming about doing coke and Samuel glances his way while on the phone, then turns around: keep an eye peeled for that bit.

There's a subtle Aviation Gin product placement bit there too. If you follow Ryan on Youtube you'll probably enjoy it, short though it may be.

And the dream sequences. So good. So well abridged to the in-movie reality.

Antonio Banderas is there too, and he's great, but somehow his character pales in comparison to main ones.

The story may be a little weak (it's a kidnapping, there's a reign of terror potentially impending, stuff like that), but the character relations and interactions are where this shines, as with the all-out action and refreshingly unsheathed gore and violence, and did I mention Morgan Freeman's in it too? Shan't spoil his role!

It's a blast all the way, and I hope for endless sequels. It may have week points plot-wise but the filming's masterful; the interactions are masterful.

If you're looking for action comedy with a bit less censor: have at this.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

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Tokyo Fist (1995)

Tokyo Fist (1995)

Boxing. Japanese style. Abstract Japanese style, maybe I should say?

Like violent. Abstract violence. Violent abstraction.

There's a girl involved too. There's synchronicity in the training room. There's a lot of blue and gray hues, and a lifestyle depicted akin to slavery - which I though the movie would be introducing as a premise to break out of.

But it wasn't that. There's a girl involved. There's an enemy. There are old ties and strange obsessions of pain and love and loathing and is it a coincidence the sun seems to shine just a little brighter when they meet under the highway with the radishes, just like it does when the fight's over?

Japanese style.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

The Courier (2019)

The Courier (2019)

Olga Kurylenko's one bad-ass woman! And courier. And life-saving gal all around. And this could've been a thoroughly bad-ass movie too if it wasn't for all the waiting, the wading, the wasting time, the lacking witty conversations and surplus suffering - as if that's why we watch these movies. And a hit man who doesn't count his bullets? Twice?!

The fireball scene was bad-ass, the cunt punt looked painful, the view was enjoyable - albeit short-lived, and the violence gritty beyond expectation sometimes. They just could've used a better script, a bit more basement variation and a little more finite a conclusion.

Realistic blood and all btw but lacking a punch sometimes with the firepower and effects.

Hope I see you in more action movies though Olga. Great performance here. Remindin' me a bit of Kate Beckinsale too.

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

Soundwave (2018)

Soundwave (2018)

Been a while since a movie hyped me up like this one! When the credits start rolling yeaaaah. I'm inspired! I feel higher. I'm enlightened. It's in my blood. It's all around. The world is sound. The plot seems shallow but still profound. Treading the new waves, looking to new days, you done made me proud. Dylan K. Narang.

It's the story of a young inventor with a troubled past, played by Hunter Doohan, who invents a machine that can hear sound waves of our past. And then he meets a girl. Katie Owsley.

Of course there's a bad guy too - nobody I recognize but they're all good. There's loss. There's a build. It feels a little simple sometimes - I wasn't a fan of the photographic way they interpreted the sound visually, slowed down as if photos instead of film - but at the same time that's a piece of the newness here. It stands out. The fights might've been anticlimactically non-existent, and the chases never involved cars or any other elaborate form of vehicle, but they did capture the desperation. Sometimes.

It's got that dystopian-like sci-fi synthy soundtrack too, but no soundtrack that takes over, which is almost odd considering the premise.

It's maybe not all compelling, not all entrancing - the stop by the police station seemed a little stupid, but I'm pretty close to being blown away by this one overall.

What a blast. A new one. An audial one at that.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

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