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The Hitman's Wife’s Bodyguard (2021)

The Hitman's Wife’s Bodyguard (2021)

The bodyguard Michael Bryce continues his friendship with assassin Darius Kincaid as they try to save Darius' wife Sonia.

Do they really call this a friendship though?! The level of suffering that Ryan Reynolds continually goes through, the amount of blunt trauma he withstands - at times seemingly turned into a human rag doll, the way he turns this pain and agony into a comedic element... it's pretty crazy.

I don't remember the first one being all as catastrophic on his behalf, but maybe it was. It definitely makes for an unconventional main character duo at least - or here more so trio - and gives you a strange blend of both feeling his pain and helplessly laughing at it. Just like Kincaid does. But it's not with ill intent on my part. That's just his character.

And Salma Hayek as Sonia is maybe the wildest Salma Hayek I've ever seen! I love it. I love the mimicry. Both between her and him and between her and her man, and between all three of them, and between them and everyone else. It's all a steady stream of mad but radiating molten gold.

The little bit when Ryan's miming about doing coke and Samuel glances his way whilst on the phone: keep an eye peeled for that bit. XD

There's a subtle Aviation Gin product placement bit there too. If you follow Ryan on Youtube you'll probably enjoy it, short though it may be.

And the dream sequences were so good too. So well abridged to the in-movie reality.

Antonio Banderas is there too, and he's great, but somehow his character pales in comparison to the main ones. Though maybe that's intended.

The story may be a little weak (it's a kidnapping, there's a reign of terror potentially impending, stuff like that), but the character relations and interactions are where this shines, and with the all-out action and refreshingly unsheathed gore and violence, and did I mention Morgan Freeman's in it too? Shan't spoil his role!

It's a blast all the way, and I hope for endless sequels. It may have weak points plot-wise and I wish they treated Ryan just a little better than they do, but the filming's masterful; the interactions are masterful.

If you're looking for action comedy with a bit less censor: have at this.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome


Tokyo Fist (1995)

Tokyo Fist (1995)

Boxing. Japanese style. Abstract Japanese style, maybe I should say?

Like violent. Abstract violence. Violent abstraction.

There's synchronicity in the training room. There's a lot of blue and gray hues, and an office life depicted akin to slavery - which I though the movie would be introducing as a premise to break free of.

But it wasn't that.

There's a girl involved. There's an enemy. There are old ties and strange obsessions of pain and love and loathing and is it a coincidence the sun seems to shine just a little brighter when they meet under the highway with the radishes, just like it does when the fight's over?

Japanese style. Odd but solid. Warrior spirit. Captivating from the start.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

The Courier (2019)

The Courier (2019)

Olga Kurylenko's one bad-ass woman! And courier. And life-saving gal all around. And this could've been a thoroughly bad-ass movie too if it wasn't for all the waiting, the wading, the wasting time, the lacking witty conversations and surplus suffering - as if that's why we watch these movies. And a hit man who doesn't count his bullets? Twice?!

The fireball scene was bad-ass, the cunt punt looked painful, the view was enjoyable - albeit short-lived, and the violence gritty beyond expectation sometimes. They just could've used a better script, a bit more basement variation and a little more finite a conclusion.

Realistic blood and all btw but lacking a punch sometimes with the firepower and effects.

Hope I see you in more action movies though Olga. Great performance here. Remindin' me a bit of Kate Beckinsale too.

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

Soundwave (2018)

Soundwave (2018)

Been a while since a movie hyped me up like this one! When the credits start rolling yeaaaah. I'm inspired! I feel higher. I'm enlightened. It's in my blood. It's all around. The world is sound. The plot seems shallow but still profound. Treading the new waves, looking to new days, you done made me proud. Dylan K. Narang.

It's the story of a young inventor with a troubled past, played by Hunter Doohan, who invents a machine that can hear sound waves of our past. And then he meets a girl. Katie Owsley.

Of course there's a bad guy too - nobody I recognize but they're all good. There's loss. There's a build. It feels a little simple sometimes - I wasn't a fan of the photographic way they interpreted the sound visually, slowed down as if photos instead of film - but at the same time that's a piece of the newness here. It stands out. The fights might've been anticlimactically non-existent, and the chases never involved cars or any more elaborate forms of vehicles, but they did capture the desperation. Sometimes.

It's got that dystopian-like sci-fi synthy soundtrack too, but no soundtrack that takes over, which is almost odd considering the premise.

It's maybe not all compelling, not all entrancing - the stop by the police station seemed a little stupid, but I'm pretty close to being blown away by this one overall.

What a blast. A new one. An audial one at that.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome


Vanguard (2020)

Vanguard (2020)

Covert security company Vanguard is the last hope of survival for an accountant after he is targeted by the world's deadliest mercenary organization.

Though it seems to be more a love story between an environmentalist (female) and Vanguard employee (male) than it's about that accountant.

Jackie Chan's there on the side throughout, along with various other Vanguard employees (don't know who the girl was but props! Favorite one) and other collaborators and/or adversaries.

But special effect car chases? Not a fan. Not of special effect animals either. Special effect cyborg bees...? A little more acceptable.

This movie really reminded me of Kung Fu Yoga, which was fun, but there too all the CGI just brings it down so much for me. I love the sceneries, and some of the setups are spectacular - the fortress firefight in particular was awesome - I wish I could rate this higher overall!

I love that Jackie's still making stuff, but he just ain't in his heyday anymore. The budget's there. The young talent is there - it's admirable how be brings 'em in and lets them showcase their skills. I just wish the authenticity was too. The after-credit scenes feel like what I wish the movie felt like, like who knew Jackie really almost drowned when he was pinned under that Jet Ski?! You don't get the impression he was really in danger in the movie.

Wish they'd spent their budget differently. Focused on the real.

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

The Marksman (2021)

The Marksman (2021)

A rancher on the Arizona border becomes the unlikely defender of a young Mexican boy desperately fleeing the cartel assassins who've pursued him into the U.S.

First one where Neeson dies at the end?

Reminds me a little of Clint Eastwood's last action movie. Hope this doesn't mean Neeson's hanging up his hat for good now too.

It's a simple but solid action movie. Typical Neeson - though new sceneries. More countryside. Ranches, and motels, and cartels, and one damn good showdown that starts on the road.

Going by the description I was expecting it'd all take place by the border, but it wasn't like that. There was no being holed up in the one cabin and keeping waves of cartel soldiers away - like I thought it'd be. It's a bit more realistic... you could say. Though that might have been way cooler.

Could've been a bit like 'Assault On Precinct 13', but with a twist!

The Mexican kid looked a bit like an old man btw. His way of walking and expressing himself. Corroded by the hardships of life. Good charisma too. Nice work Jacob Perez. But dammmmn all that money...

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

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