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For a minute. Recap in a moment. Poland's pretty spinning'. People out there glowing. Pancakes with cheese and spinach. Prices low like an omen. Sun makes for grimace or grinning. Melting like a snowman.

And look here. A pretty cool chandelier.

The Sixteen Layer Crystal Chandelier

Sixteen levels! Built by rebels.

Dope place. Pole and?

Ghosted (2023)

Ghosted (2023)

It's like Knight And Day, but with reversed gender roles, and bad chemistry... like night and day... for a while.

The visuals are good, the insect scene was good (albeit with unnecessary sound effects for the ants occasionally - unrealistic eye-gouging at the end too I imagine), the bus was a colorful addition, I love how it fell apart, I loved the hitmen chain bit, I loved the spin on the final fight too - there are some good parts! Overall maybe it isn't that bad after all, they even give pretty good space to the fight sequences, and the hits are realistic, I think the chemistry just... puts me off initially. It's not right somehow.

Is he really that needy? Isn't she just an asshole - and his family too - especially the sister? Maybe I relate too much for comfort, both to the staying-with-your-parents-to-help-them thing and to the at times frustrating sibling rivalry.

I don't relate to the emoji stuff, that's just unnecessary...

Towards the end I'm enjoying it again, but the larger part of the movie was a little hard to get through.

That Ryan Reynolds part though. XD Surprise cameo.

So I did enjoy the movie but... not always. Not in a way where it all redeems itself in the end either - sometimes the dialog just felt too harsh - sometimes the romance could've been way more romantic also. If this is the ideal banter for a chick flick now then... I'm not sure I like the new banter. What happened to the magic we used to have.

It's a solid movie with issues.

Ana de Armas and Chris Evans are great when they really are.

 rated 3/5: not bad

Gold (2022)

Gold (2022)

I've always liked a good desert, but this desert?!

It's not a good one. It's gritty. It's grim. It's merciless.

But there is gold.

It's an unconventional thriller about a desperate man who finds a rock worth millions, yet it's in the middle of nowhere, and it's too big to take. So what do? Who can you trust with the fortune of a lifetime when you're all by your lonesome, in sun and sand and a dead land that stretches further than the mind can imagine? It's a simple premise, but such a good one, and they really make the most of the heat and isolation...

The mystery remains after the movie's over. Who was he? Who was the other guy? Would he really have let him drive to get the excavator in the first place? And would the compound have been the place it truly was destined to be? And what happened to the world?! We'll never see...

We truly are in an era of silent movies btw. Ambient horror. Thriller, more so. Maybe the thing we all truly crave is space, a freedom that's rare in this day and age, the opportunity of a new beginning, yet freedom is the antonym of comfort, and something that scares us as well. The prospect of real isolation, in loosening all ties. Of being alone in a wide expanse of nothing, or everything... nothing is nothing after all.

Even space can be a cage you can't get out of. Freedom's a severed connection too.

All this may have little to do with the Gold but it makes you think this one. The less they show the more you imagine. The less they speak the more the mind rambles instead.

Great movie. I don't feel I can rate it higher since it really is a little... eventless.

But thorough. Very well made. Zac Efron in an unconventional role too.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

The Beta Test (2021)

The Beta Test (2021)

It's Eyes Wide Shut meet social media! With a little memento. A surreal chase, through the life of Jordan Hines, for a girl. For love. For purpose. As the world crumbles around him.

There are probably some good moral lessons to this. To shut off your phone, for one. But the brief flickers of a sexual encounter distract me from morality. As do the savage and spontaneous interacts. The madness of it all, leading to an end where it seems car lights flicker on the other side of the wall...

And I wonder what that really means. Was someone there? Why did he run away? For a moment I wondered if the man was really just the embodiment of the World Wide Web taking form within his mad mind.

Certain elements leave me confused, and Jim's big honest breakdown felt to some extent almost Jim Carry-like comedic - not suitable - but for the most part... what a movie.

My eyes are peeled all the way through, from the first quick flicker of silverware, and the woman's head going right through the cheap plaster. Swedes too. What a movie...

First one in a while that really surprised me; took me somewhere I didn't expect to go.

 rated 5/5: friggin awesome

Jungle Cruise (2021)

Jungle Cruise (2021)

I, for one, actually really liked Frank's jokes! And I like a movie that actually ends with the credits. And I actually do like a magical love story, and mythical adventure, that seems to meet in a middle ground between ones like Indiana Jones and Pirates of the Caribbean. And look at that cover! Classy like few. An ode to old days - classier too.

Considering the Nazis are here too I guess it's all the more like Indiana Jones?

Certain plot elements feel a little cliché. Like the aristocracy. Like the Nazis. Like the temple and eternal life. Like the natives. Like the boat owner. Like a lot of things - but at least they presented the empowerment of women in an appreciably positive way, and the CGI was great - realistic or no, the soundtrack pompous, the wittiness clever, and the adventure as one that really takes you in and along for the ride! Atmospheric. Immersive. Optimistic - with a couple darker turns towards the end. Like any good children's story should have!

Can't not like The Rock either.

I honestly didn't know this was a Disney movie when I watched it, the name didn't seem to reveal it'd be more than maybe an attempt at some Indiana Jones-like fantasy rip-off. Which would've been cool too but: It really exceeded my expectations.

It's a journey. A great one done well. The typical Disney type feelgood film with atmosphere you might still remember certain parts of!

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

Cruella (2021)

Cruella (2021)

That dame from the animated Disney classic 101 Dalmatians who didn't like dogs, remember her? This is her story. Her origins, you may say.

I seem to recall she was a little bit older in the animated movie, but age doesn't sell of course...

To sympathize with villains is becoming a thing though! Seeing them from their other side. Their better side. Acknowledging that the world's not all black and white. Sometimes it's both. Sometimes it's Cruella!

Interesting too how they villainize another character instead of her here. This girl becomes a villain to overcome the villain. The Baroness. The one she dreams of being, until she learns the dark truths of the Baroness's past, and Cruella's darker side comes to light, too.

So ultimately I guess they're making Cruella out to not be the villain here, just an unfortunate victim of circumstance - with a traumatic dog experience to boot, and that's why we sympathize?

The CGI with the parachute drop was bad, but apart from that little bit this movie's magic. The burning dress. Fancy glamour show effects. Emma Stone's the perfect main role too, though in the end... she's not really a villain you can relate to after all, can you?

Because of her trauma maybe we do learn to love her despite the bad, but to relate, that's a different popsicle...

It's refreshing too how differently this one does things though, and how rich everything looks here. It's essentially a fashion show for high-end UK society, I didn't really think I'd be into all that but here I am.

I do love elegance. The old; the better sense. The bold; the letter hence. It's cold, as evidence. Control. Your soul. Who knows? May penance bring. And woe. And hell hall sing sorry. Deliverance. here goes.

Well! Got me inspired. Momentarily modified my lingo a little too.

Good movie.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

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