Two men are hired to protect a man who is fleeing a drug syndicate. The initial meeting turns into chaos and with a dead body, briefcase of stolen money and an assassin on their tail, Nick and Derek are going to have to do more than just protect - they are going to have to kill.

It's a B-movie. There's too much dialog. The choreography's a bit slow. I have a real problem with the Irish/Scottish accents. BUT they did do some things right! They have real guns. They have real explosions. They have certain scenes that feel like they could've really become something. And the story's not bad either just... feels very budget. Goes a little slow. Doesn't captivate like it could have.

Would be cool if they give this one another chance some day.

Could get iconic.

 rated 2.5/5: almost not bad

Does this have the same actor that played Killer Bird in Drunken Tai Chi...? Apparently not. They look alike though.

It does however have maybe the best dragon dance scene in a movie ever, and did that killer really rip the head off of not just an insect but also a chicken?

The title's totally misleading.

It's more about friendship and courage than anything else, though the masked killer's definitely a menace, and the fights are some of the most versatile ones I've ever seen. Yuen Biao maybe doesn't get total outlet for his incredible athleticism, but he's good, and I feel like they manage the props without ever making them seem unreasonable either.

They might not look realistic, but the way they use them you can't help but think that they could actually be used that way.

Bringing imagination to life. Really making the unreal look real. Rare feat.

And the threat's perceivable.

I think the latter might have to do with the closed in spaces. You don't feel like there's room to just run away and fight another day, or for the disciple to leave his master to the whims of the madmen.

The only thing I wish was more is the ending.

As with a lot of these movies it just ends too quick. The fight's over, and then it's all over, with no time to rejoice or ponder.

Would've been cool to see Mouse actually accepted as a disciple, for example. Even though there might've been little left to teach him.

And Wong Fei Hung? The legend lives here too. He's not the main character, but sometimes he seems like it.

So great too.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

Now this is how you reboot a franchise! And pay homage. And make a good movie. All in one.

Everything about this was so great. I didn't expect it to be after the last one. The reboot. The spin-off. The one I hope we all forget. The female empowerment movement took over then, but here they retrace their steps and go back to suitably family-friendly, and spooky, and just straight up charming and awesome all at once once again!

The little marshmallow man showcased an unexpectedly dark humor for a moment, but they really mix up the elements here, and for but a while I feel like I'm along for the ride. I feel it. I love it. I'm there.

Was a little annoyed with how quickly the little girl had her mom on a leash though, the mom helping her as if she was the adult. Suddenly it turns into a kid's movie. I mean of course it was one all along, but up till that point at least it was a realistic one. Age gap. Caution. Emotion. It felt right. The switch is too sudden. Suddenly the mom's the baby.

But they get back to it all, and having Harold Ramis as a ghost for the ending... what an amazing send-off.

I'm glad they did him justice. I'm glad they gave the franchise both a new shot and a new start too. And I love the house. and the mountain. And the town. And just everything about this.

It may not be totally perfect in terms of pace and timing and all but it's a gem. Those jokes too. You revel at the dialog. They got it all so right. Class. Comedy. Casper the friendly little spirit simmering through the door...

Take note guys. This is how you do special effects too.

And this was definitely worth watching in theatre.

 rated 5/5: friggin awesome

A Bruce Campbell cameo in the intro, an actual Bruce as one of the main characters - as a polar opposite of the real Bruce Campbell, Michael Jai White with a nailgun, a meteor storm of alien parasites that coincide with the yearly Black Friday event, which coincides with Thanksgiving, which actually does this year, which is historically an event in celebration of an 'alien' colonization, symbolic of man's greed, though it's actually Green Friday because Black would've been racist, and aliens are typically green... the detail level in this movie is on point.

It's timely too. It's witty. It means something. It's filmed well.

The timing and pace is just perfect. The props are incredibly gross. The slightly down-to-up angles are a little reminiscent of Evil Dead. The car flying by while they were headed to Walmart reminded me of Shaun of the Dead...

All of that was so great at the start, and I didn't realize the shop manager was Bruce Campbell either then. He is great, though definitely not as iconic here as in his older; most iconic roles.

It's a refreshingly relevant and reinventive zombie/alien/parasite horror movie with a little comedy, and the ending boss prop was really nicely designed, but overall... it kinda loses that 'feel' after a while. It becomes more just like all other horror movies out there.

A bit too many introspective story swaps in the staff room maybe too?

I expected a lot the way it all started, with the impeccable alien prop and introduction, but towards the end I'm a little disappointed.

Best not blow the whole budget only on the beginning, or your motivation and effort, or get expectations sky high right away if you can't keep 'em. Tactics like that will backfire flat. #fact

Overall though this really was a good movie.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

It's a volleyball story, about two guys, and two girls, and money versus passion...

It's good. I love the sceneries. I appreciate the characters, as I do the beach life and blue sea and all ball, it just... ends too quickly. An inconclusive break-up with the uncle and an inconclusive break-up with the girl, and that's it. Is that victory?

Feels like they didn't go all the way this way...

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

I miss horror stories like this. With a little fantasy. With adventure. With gut-wrenching screams, and bloody props like an arm sticking down a guys throat.

It's theatric in the best way possible - never mind the somewhat corny final ball throw or ball game of Death and all that. The atmosphere overall is magic, the characters charming; the fight a gripping one. In the weirdest ways.

Props. On props. On everything here. On smoke and mirrors. Mind games and illusions. Heart transplants and skin torn apart to make way for what we'll become, the new age...

Why don't we have movies like this anymore?

Where the unreal's real. Where you can dig into a morbid adventure real quick and then get back to the real world.

It doesn't all have to be that close to the real world as we currently perceive it, and the dystopia towards which we're headed that most contemporary horror movies seems to gear towards...

Good stuff. All in all. Maybe not timeless but: withdrawal the ball.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle