60 Watched VHS Reviews

A while (read: a few years) back I gave away a box of old VHS movies. I took images of them all before I did though, and they've been lying around gathering dust for a while (but not as long as those VHS tapes!). But here they are, accompanied with short commentaries for those deserving of them. Why did I give the movies away, you ask? Lack of space, and VHS is unfortunately a format devoid of all future purpose. Same thing with DVD, but at least they take less space, and people still buy those. Anyway, here you go, alphabetical order:

3-Way. I don't think I ever watched this one.

48 Timmar AKA 48 Hours. The eighties had a lot of good action movies like this that weren't really special but still packed a lot of that-one-thing-that-a-good-action-movie-actually-needs: good action. Even more impressive is the fact that they didn't use any digital effects. The blood, the explosions, the crashes - it's all real. Even if it is staged. That's what I like about this era! This one movie didn't stand out much though, it was just one of many. It features a couple of detectives, one white one black - one reckless one regular, and probably a not-so-memorable plot since it's long forgotten.

Americas Sweethearts. Nah... not my type of movie. Did I... actually buy this?

Anaconda. Jennifer Lopez stars in this thriller. It takes place deep within the Amazon jungle and features a bunch of stranded tourists and a lot of snakes. Not scary, but good!

Anger Management. I heard a lot of hype about this one before I watched it, but it wasn't as crazy as I expected it to be. Still good though.

Planet of The Apes. Classic.

Beyond The Mat was a documentary on Wrestling. At the time I watched it I thought it was pretty good, but since I watched The Wrestler a couple of years back this old movie seems to have lost it's finesse. It's mixed footage and interviews. Only something for fans. And I don't know if I am... yet.

Cape Fear. Crappy thriller with IMHO undeserved hype.

Champion Killer. A really crappy thriller/action movie. There's probably going to be a lot of these in the list...

Children of The Corn III. Another crappy thriller. The story would have been much better if they skipped the special effects, because at the time this movie was produced they weren't very good at those. What could have been a good movie is a not very good movie at all. Good thing they recently started a new production of this old series, the new ones are MUCH better!

Conspiracy.com. It's a B-movie, but it's a good B-movie. It doesn't have much action, but enough to make it exiting, and the acting/plotting/etc wasn't bad. I was positively surprised. Just checked out the domain with the same name just now btw and... there's nothing there. :/ Disappointing.

Contract Killer. This is one of the few movies in this list (if not the only... I'm writing these reviews as I go so I can't be sure) that I've watched more than once. Not only because it stars Jet Li but because it's a good movie. It has a good plot, good actors and good action, and it's not one of Jet Li's modern Americanized attempts at martial arting. Pure HK action still beats anything Hollywood can budget up!

posted by Cyber on Saturday, October 25th, 2014 (10:26 PM) in Movies.
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Comments

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► S3C
Monday Jun/1/2020

don't talk sh*t about VHS...at least if you kept them in good condition they were reliable. Just like DVDs. Nowadays with digital and streaming you often get glitches and connection/lag issues. I miss these simpler times...In fact, I still used VHS in 2014 to tape basketball games that I missed while at work, and it worked up to 2015 or so (hey it lasted around two decades)

But here my comments are, accompanied with short commentaries for those deserving of them:

End Of Innocence: Hey Tom Arnold was in movie with Arnold I think...True Lies was it. Well this one looks good. Hopefully as good as End of Days.

Entrapment: Looks like I movie I'd like to get back into watching these days

Evolution: Looks dumb as hell

Face/Off: A classic 90s action film!

Future Murderer: That cover though shows a bit of promise

Gunnar Govan: When did you buy it

In Dreams: Looks promising...Robert Downey Jr. is in it, sounds promising

In Too Deep:

Into the Mirror: Can't go wrong with Asian horror movies

3-Way: Never heard of it. Those are some borderline B-list actors that I think many people wouldn't have heard of. But there's a guy with sunglasses, a pretty lady, and the words 'thriller' and 'sex'. Might as well give it a chance one of these days.

48 hours: Can't go wrong with multiracial action/comedy cop flicks.

Americas Sweethearts: You bought it cuz it was 25 cents...looks stupid

Anaconda: I remember when this came out, it was one of J-Lo's first movies. The only good movie she's been in that I recall is The Cell.

Anger Management. Can't go wrong with Jack Nicholson. But like most Sandler movies, it's something to have on in the background at your friend's house, paying casual attention to it at best.

Planet of The Apes: Apornas? cool, Swedish vocabulary upgraded

Beyond The Mat: Fake and gay, like wrestling.

Cape Fear: never heard of it

Champion Killer: what did you expect with a title and no-name actors like that

Children of the Corn III: I was gonna say, never seem 'em but I thought these were considered classics..maybe just the books

Conspiracy.com: Looks underrated...anyone with differing opinion must be conspiring

Contract Killer: gotta check this one out

Dark Harbor: was it really bad? Alan Rickman tho.

Dead or Alive: A Swedish classic? *Looks Rutger Hauer up* oh wait he's Dutch...Never seen the chick flick, looks dumb, but the Japanese Action flick Dead or Alive (1999) looks watch-worthy

Death Race 2000: the new movie was pretty underwhelming itself

The Last Adventurers: Not much exciting about old dudes in a
jungle

Down to Earth: I've seen this one. It's ok.

Dune 2000: Never heard of it, but interesting cover.

Empire: Looks like one to watch.

crap, lost the rest of my comments...maybe i'll re-type them some time
► Cyber
Tuesday Jun/2/2020

But the thing is they rely on thin magnetic tape for storage, and overtime they both lose their capacity and deteriorate in quality. Same thing with normal tapes. DVD might be a bit more resilient depending on material, but usually those aren't built to last either. Nothing of this is built to last, not like vinyl. :/ I do like VHS though, even if it's probably more nostalgia than anything else. Took so long to rewind 'em too, though now even remembering that is like a fond memory of those simpler times you mention...

Wait wait, 2014-2015 = two decades...?

End Of Innocence: Ah nice, didn't remember seeing him there, been a while since I saw any Arnold classics now. This one though: not sure it was that good at all...

Entrapment: Yupp. Surprised I didn't comment on the very enticing cover too. Probably saw it as even more enticing back when I saw it.

Evolution: But was actually pretty fun... if I'm not confusing it with Teenage Cavemen.

Face/Off: Hell yeah! Didn't realize how iconic it was here.

Future Murderer: Deceiving things, covers are...

Gunnar Govan: I used to order a lot of cheap movies/music off of ginza.se. They still have a pretty good selection, and a lot of old or B-movie titles that go for one or two dollars. Back in the day sometimes they went for even less, like this one. The cheapest ones were ten cents or half a dollar. Good times, though due to cheap prices and a suddenly awakened interest in movies I bought way too much stuff too quickly and didn't really have room for all of it...

In Dreams: Woah! Might need to revisit...

In Too Deep:

Into the Mirror: This one's still a favorite. Really really good.

3-Way: Might've been my thoughts exactly.

48 hours: When you go back and watch movies like this do you ever get irked by them being too racial? Segregation? Stereotypes? All that shizzle? I do enjoy 'em though, just a thought that comes to mind every time I see one now...

Americas Sweethearts: I'm really not sure though! My sister bought movies too back in the day. Me buying a romantic movie back in the day just seems very unlikely, cheap price or no...

Anaconda: I remember this one being pretty good too though, a B-movie but still enjoyable. Have watched (and reviewed it I believe...) again since this. But you're right The Cell was a whole other level! Really realized she could act with that one.

Anger Management: Pretty much yupp.

Planet of The Apes: Haha yeah. XD All ape-related vocabulary is pretty recognizable too. Gorrila = Gorilla. Oh hey it's not just similar either!

Beyond The Mat: Maaaan you don't like wrestling at all? Ever seen ECW?

Cape Fear: You're not missing out!

Champion Killer: Not sure. Probably violence.

Children of the Corn III: They were considered classics, but indeed the books might be the ones with a better rep. Or people still consider these classics but haven't seen them again since they came out; don't remember really how bad they were back then... to be fair though I did just see the third. Maybe the beginning was better. Might've had less special effects then too.

Conspiracy.com: Fo rizzle.

Contract Killer: Hell yeah! A few other recommended Jet Li classics if you haven't seen 'em:

https://cyberd.org/hitman-1998.html
https://cyberd.org/fist-of-legend-1994.html
https://cyberd.org/high-risk-1995.html

Dark Harbor: At least that was my impression back then... can't say for certain. What's interesting is some of these movies bring forth way clearer memories now than I seemed to have of them back when I wrote this post. Like I'm becoming an old man and remembering the past better than the present now... not this one though. Hazy recollections of a dark harbor, a thriller-like setting a bit like The Watcher but with a bit more water, a girl and a psycho... it might've been alright. Might've been average. Not sure.

Dead or Alive: If you haven't heard of Rutger Hauer you have some watching to do. :) The 1999 one was great too, but DOA 2006 is really underrated. It's just like the game. Much sex appeal but appreciatively stylistic action scenes too, a good cast, plenty of martial arts, I wouldn't mind watching it again. It might be a bit superficial plot-wise but it's thoroughly enjoyable. IMO really underrated, looking at the IMDB for it now... btw I don't know why I say BUT. Personally I do appreciate the sex appeal too. Goes well with the characters/stylistic scenery. It's just that type of movie.

Rutger Hauer though: https://cyberd.org/ladyhawke-1985.html

Aaand maybe that's the only one I've reviewed so far... I'd recommend Blind Fury (1989) and Split Second (1992) too though. His most known role might've been in The Hitchhiker, and more recently in Hobo With A Shotgun (not that good, but a fun homage to his old movies when you know him). He's been in some pretty diverse; iconic titles over the years but still managed to stay pretty underground somehow.

Death Race 2000: The latest one? I liked the Jason Statham remake, but newer ones... yeah. Bit disappointing.

The Last Adventurers: Actually this is one of those I seem to remember more of now, and pretty fondly. Maybe time's skewed my memories though. It probably wasn't the most fast-paced flick but it felt authentic, real sceneries, real animals, just a real escape from current times; back to that jungle. Though may require re-watch to confirm potentially solely nostalgic sentiments.

Down to Earth: Yeah... really thought it'd be better. Had potential. Bit like Bruce Almighty but just with a lot less energy and flare.

Dune 2000: Ever heard of the game? You could compare it a bit to Mad Max, but a lot slower. Dystopian landscapes without an army of suicidal warriors therein. Like an ambient Mad Max, maybe.

Empire: If I remember correctly it's good but a bit depressing. No happy endings.

Damn. :/ Might continue this thread later on then too...