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Bad Actress (2017)

Bad Actress (2017)

IMDB gives this movie a 2 out of 10, and though I'm usually averse to IMDB's often low and overly critical ratings, this one's actually fair, even with remarkable few reviews (none) or plot summary. The information's vague to say the least. Amazon, however, gives it a 4.7 out of 5 based off three reviews! Makes you wonder about overall review scores there. How many are fake? How many are written to promote the product? I don't mean to bash excessively on this here production but... it wasn't top quality.

It's a movie about Valentina (played by Excelina Ordonez), a beautiful black-haired bimbo with big bare-dressed bust, coming from Colombia to the US to try and make a life there, first seeking the riches, then trying to get stuff for free, finally realizing that material things aren't all that matter. There's also background reporter Dick Strong, in a public narrative kind-of-way chronicling her life, which is bound to tell you what kind of movie this is.

The 'official' description goes like this: A Latin socialite decides to become the anti Sophia Vergara. As we watch her whirlwind of destruction take down everyone and everything in her wake as she makes Scarface look like a family movie. As the reign of destruction and the dust clears, we see our heroine in her first audition as "She Kills It"! Nothing is as it seems in this sexy blockbuster comedy with a surprise ending.

It had me intrigued. I watched it. I watched Valentina run around shopping, flirting, buying cars, sleeping, talking, basically just living... until she enters a 'win a part in a movie' contest with a million in prize money, and you can probably figure out the rest. It's more like a (bad) soap opera than a movie.

The humor's silly to the point of being stupid, and Valentina is just not a very sympathetic main character. She's a real diva, albeit naive and clueless about the world, so whether all goes well for her or not... at first I'm really not that interested. I know they're trying to make it funny, but either comedy or script is severely lacking, because it just doesn't reach me. It's decently filmed but... it's not enough. Excelina doesn't seem like a bad actress, but she acts a bad role, in a bad movie. It's a sad debut with inconsistent plot-line and a real slight of script.

it's not what you have - it's who you are. Good message, but unfortunately it took a whole movie to reach it, and you have to see that whole movie first.

 rated 1/5: shit shit shit


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  1. S3C
    Sunday Dec/10/2017

    atleast she's hot though...

    the only moving deserving a 1 is Fifty Shades of Grey. That movie was a colossal heap of flaming garbage.

  2. Cyber
    Sunday Dec/10/2017

    That is one redeeming point!

    Hmmm contemplating if I should add it to my watchlist just to see if it really is that bad...

  3. S3C
    Sunday Dec/10/2017


  4. Cyber
    Monday Dec/11/2017

    XD Alright man, with the additional benefit of saving a couple of hours for something better: will do! I mean I won't, then.

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