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Baywatch (2017)

Baywatch (2017)

Is that... Run The Jewels in the background?! HELL YEAH!

Apart from having the greatest soundtrack ever (I really hope El-P and Killer Mike were paid for it though, considering the album's free) it was... a pretty good movie. I'm dubious. I'm divided. I enjoyed it for the most part, but some things...

Seth Rogan was in charge of this one, and if you've seen the newer Neighbors, or Zack and Miri Make a Porno, or Sausage Party you'll know what kind of movies he makes, and that he turns all movies he's involved with into... this uncomfortable mixture of awesomely entertaining, refreshingly uncensored, sexually suggestive and just wrong and too far. Some of the things The Rock does here I did not think The Rock would do. The Rock is better than that, and Zac Efron too. They look like they're having fun in the extra scenes that roll with the credits, but still, some things...

That introductory stuck-in-the-chair scene was both hilarious and way too graphic too. It's the perfect example. It could've been presented in a cleaner way and come across hilarious without having to take that step over the top. I'm thinking no close-up shot. Shots like that are starting to become the comedy-movie equivalent of scary movie jump scares, and who likes those? It might be fun the one time. It might create a controversy (read: publicity, more viewers, remembrance), but in the long run it's a cheap way to garner attention, and will make for replay cringe/little hall of fame potential. That Seth got to direct a movie of this caliber in the first place is just... I don't... is the industry really this desperate to adapt?!

That I watched through the whole movie and enjoyed it must mean he's still doing something right, though. Maybe the over-the-top thing is what every movie really needs. Raise the limitations. Set you free. Clear expectations. Go crazy. Or forget that and make a movie that'll actually stand the test of time, be enjoyable for all audiences and play with all the elements of old in a both respectful, fun and fashionable way. When I'm saying that I'm feeling like maybe I just need to go crazy more often. Is this the world I'm living in? I'm dubious. I'm divided. I'm young? Feel old.

I enjoyed it for the most part.

When it comes to the original Bay Watch all I know is Pamela Anderson. I've never actually seen a real episode outside of a fleeting glimpse in Borat, so her cameo was a fun addition. That they included one more member of the old crew was cool too. Though all the memories I have of the old show is of the image, I feel like they upheld it well, and though they make fun of the stereotypes, like the sexy swimming suits, they do so in a way that doesn't disrespect the original. They have fun with the details, and look good doing it. I think not taking it all too seriously is a huge benefit, since they did the opposite with the old movie and that didn't work at all.

It's a story about life guards, a boss, a new recruit, and a sinister plot (the antagonist's a femme fatale of course - played by none other than the beautiful Priyanka Chopra) they uncover. Their obstacles are both the authorities (since they're just life guards), and themselves, as the new recruit Matt Brody searches for both recognition and a purpose - trying to help out but doing the wrong things, getting distracted, being arrogant, but finally coming to terms with himself and the team.

The other guys do stuff too, of course. Relationship stuff. Three boys. Three girls. You know the drill. It penetrates, you know? Like a Seth Rogan script. Wonder if the ratio was the same in the original... but either way they work together at getting together to work, and as the final fireworks fly they're a really close-knit group, high on adrenaline and helicopters!

Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron are definite favorites, so it's great seeing both of them in the same movie, and Kelly Rohrbach, Alexandra Daddario, Ilfenesh Hadera and Jon Bass (was surprised to skim his resume and learn he's not really a goof at all - great actor) all welcome new additions! Good team. Good movie. Good fun. I'm not dubious about that. Not as if my cells self-replicated and cloned me either. Great watch, with the greatest watch in the bay. Great characters; great scenery; great humor... even if some of it is a bit over the top. I mean under the belt. Under the top? It's Seth Rogan.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

...though that excessive Seth Stuff almost made it a three.


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