Black & Gray

So much negativity!!
I'm living, but it's killing me!
I want to be the realest.
How real can I really be?
I want to be wise,
And do stuff with my life,
And if I ever rise into the skies when something dies within me,
Look down and feel like swirling smoke slowly rising through a chimney,
And if I don't cough or go soft, feel like whatever's in me is on the up and up,
If that doesn't get me down, I don't know this stuff enough.
Like negatives. I'm sorting through the box, all day
Black and gray.