He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him.

The qualms of power eh?

It struck me, as I was considering how long the tube of toothpaste I have in the upper bathroom will last, that I worry about too many things, and that this probably takes some focus from what matters more in life; what I should really prioritize.

I'm good at focusing in some ways.

Like I'm good at staring at the screen on end for almost immeasurable segments of time, but I'm bad at focus when it maybe matters more, like in being able to focus on physical self-improvement, and to instead routinely look away from said computer, so that I can *paradoxically? Is that an applicable word here?* stay with the bite-sized lifestyle long long-term.

The toothpaste thing is one of many things I assume I focus too much on, though when I consider writing up a list of other unnecessary things I focus on during a regular day I'm not positively overwhelmed by the thought of it. It seems an unnecessary focus also.

A lot of these focuses would probably shift to more important things automatically if there was less reason for them though.

In the case of the toothpaste for example, the only reason I care how long the tube lasts, is because I know the price of a new one.

I don't ration toothpaste to save on expenses per se, but I don't use it excessively. A tube lasts a long time, and so these particular costs are few and far between, and that's a good thing, and it also thus seems a bit odd I'd think more frequently about my toothpaste duration than that of say a carton of milk or a box of coffee.

Do I focus unnecessarily on those too? No doubt I do. Just probably not for as long a duration - cause they're not as durable - and thus maybe I don't recall the focus being as re-occurring a thing.

Maybe I do actually think less of items with a shorter shelf-life though. Since they're bought to be perishables anyway, they can't be rationed the same way...

If I lived in financial surplus I can't imagine myself thinking about how long my toothpaste will last at all though. I'd stock up on toothpaste instead, and so for a foreseeable amount of time I wouldn't need to think about this particular thing. And it never expires. I can stock a lot.

One of the luxuries - in fact maybe the only truly life-altering luxury you can afford when you're swimming in money, I hear, is not having to worry about basic amenities and purchases.

Not food, not gas, not rent, not any necessities you otherwise take care to constantly budgetize for.

The focus on constraints seems then no longer necessary, unless you're totally oblivious as to the value of coin and have the ability to waste it all on nothing, which I imagine I do not. I've always been very conscious. I've always opted for savings over experiences, though that seems to have been changing lately, and it's probably also been making me a bit more stressed about a financial situation that thus seems more out of control...

If you go +/- 0 though it's fine, right? That's the norm, right?

It's never been mine. I've always preferred to stash away for rainy days. So a lack of surplus to stash unnerves me, and makes me feel like I am living beyond my financial means, though I'm really just living in the edge of them. Contained. Fully aware. On the edge, with less room for err.

But that's not ideal neither for peace or mind nor longevity, I need to do something about that....

And the focus thing? And I need to do something about that.

Maybe it's a common thing to do if you're creative too. To pay attention to details that don't matter. But it's definitely possible also to pay attention to details that don't matter that don't matter, not just the ones that you find a strange kind of satisfaction in noticing, that make you feel like you suddenly know an old friend's been living next door to you your whole life.

There's a familiarity to details that you've perceived to be there without knowing, that being made aware of makes rewarding in a special way, and nothing brings out that perception better than a strange association, in senses or memories, like how for example snow feels like cold alcohol swabs of cotton on your skin, before they melt away...

You'd never considered the association before had you? And yet it matches, if you've ever taken a blood sample, and lived in snow, and have the associations to match. Both the memory and the sensation, and the two go together in a strange and beautiful way, building something new on a connection you never expected there to be.

Everything's related in some way...

And what about when it comes to focus huh?

I'm getting out of mine entirely. Where was I going with this. I have no idea. I stayed up till 5:40 AM last night reading a remarkably good book though, and I am both oddly refreshed even though I've barely slept, and a little hazy. And inspired. That what was I was about to say.

Just focus on the right things! And go about your day.

Man this one was grueling... but what can you do? Must uphold tradition!

I've been eating these for something like fifteen years straight at this point, and I was of no mind to let this year be an exception, but it just so happened that I woke up this Tuesday feeling... not so great.

Mom was apparently down with a fever the weekend me and good buddy Bear were in Albania - the weekend before last, and I came home on Sunday after a tiring trip to an empty fridge, after midnight, with an early work day awaiting....

I set my alarm even earlier than I'd planned to fix up some lunch for the office, went on with a grueling day there, came back home, finally had a full night's sleep, and the next morning I had indeed caught that virus too.

It may have been (and still be) the flu.

Baking semlor turned out a more arduous task than I thought it'd be this year, but since mom was still incapacitated and I too sick to head out and actually buy something (which I tend to avoid doing anyway these days) I had no choice but to bake something!

I looked for a random 'gluten-free semla' recipe online, and found this.

Notice how the recipe doesn't say anything about how long said recipe takes to make? It probably took me around ~3 hours.

I whipped up fresh cream, melted the butter, thawed the yeast, ground the cardamom seeds, whisked the egg, warmed the milk, ran the almonds through the grinder, mixed 'em with honey and milk (recipe says sugar but FUCK SUGAR), added in sea salt and saffron, worked the dough like a mofo and let it thicken (10 minutes), rise (30 minutes) and rise again (30 minutes more) and then into the oven they went!

After two times the intended oven time (I think I made the buns bigger than intended + hadn't warmed the oven fully + the saffron paste I used messed up the flour/liquid ratio entirely but did end up making the dough even better than I'd expected) and voila (same semla - different angle)...

They tasted great. :) The recipe was aight after all! Possibly the best gluten-free variant I've tried so far - except maybe for the wonderful one I bought at renowned Bro cafe Mazarin before they closed down.

Anyway we got our semlor! I made one for all of us. Mom couldn't eat more than one half, so I had more, and there's more in store!

Then I got the fever for real and was totally out of it for three days.

WORTH IT. 👍✨

I'm a bit late with this post again this year thus, but know: These pictures were taken on Tuesday! And the foodstuff depicted on them was eaten then too. I haven't had an ounce of cream or sugar since, since I'm trying to get rid of this ongoing infection quick now cause this coming Friday:
Banja Luka. We're off again. Do wish I had a bit more recoup time...

Happy Fat Tuesday y'all!

Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works.

All too often people do forget! I too...

Snow Drifting In Sweden.

May be one of the most captivating drift videos I've ever seen...

Ken Block would've probably done it better, but imperfection has a charm to it too, and the symbiosis of visuals and sound here is so perfect. The music amplifies the journey. The speed, the recklessness, the soft snow and surrounding darkness of the mid-winter wilderness...

I want to hit the roads too when I see something like this! If you have the resources for a tour in a Volvo or a Taurus winter's fun.

I don't recall the context of this Google, but somehow I stumbled upon a 110 year old film producer with an interesting name!

He's still alive! May he live a long time yet.

Here's to you, Gene Wang.