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Retirement Only Lasts A While...

Retirement only lasts a while, but life is a lifetime.


My right hand is kinda cold.

I guess it's cold in the room. I'm sitting here in shorts and shirt and wool socks, and a robe, looking out at the snowy lands outside, plagued by ice and sleet during the night and most of yesterday.

My car's frozen over.

I tried to swipe away the snow yesterday but it's the kind that sticks. I brushed off a surface veil, but below that it was glued on. A centimeter-thick layer of water and snow combined, melted together during ideal temperature for trouble.

The side windows are covered too.

Side mirrors.

Door handles and keyholes.


And I still have those strange electrical issues, which means I have unplugged my battery while the car stands still, which means I need to pop the hood and plug it back in before I can start heating the car and properly scrape the snow off the windows. Which might be difficult if the hood's been frozen shut.

Might need to get up a bit earlier tomorrow if this unwanted albeit protective veil doesn't start melting...

I woke up around 8 today, and got up before 9, 1-2 hours earlier than usual. A bit too early, but I'm trying to get better sleeping habits before a Buddhist temple retreat trip next weekend, for which I'll have to get up around 6. Don't want to be totally sleep deprived when I arrive.

It'll be three days of hopefully unwavering and existentially enlightening meditation sessions at the Northernmost Buddhist temple in the world... or was it just the Northernmost in Sweden? Not sure.

That tongue thing seems alright now, no further issues or effects *knock on wood*, and the SEO meetings are ongoing.

A lotta stuff's going on at work right now, and elsewhere, so aforementioned retreat seems all the more well-timed a moment of rest.
If I can just learn to sleep alright.

I've been selling some stuff via online auctions recently.

Bought a shipment of 3,5'' HDDs in varying condition and have been selling away the ones with uncertain future fortuity, and going through some 20kg weight vests I bought at a heavy discount (I don't think it was an intentional one - the company I ordered from might've missed a digit in their price tag). I dared order only a few lest I cause notable financial loss or they decide to not send said order.

And smaller things. It's an interesting side-hustle.

Got a bunch of music projects teetering on the edge of completion now too, of which I might've managed one or two this morning if I wasn't so tired; unable to focus on essentials...

More voice acting work too. I got my voice back so I've got some dues. And there's an interview on route - recorded this weekend.

Was initially hella frustrated over my to inability to properly lead a regular conversation, and not fond of my regular non-rap voice... but I will be doing more of those. Because I'm crap at it. I need to improve. I will get better.

So that's what's coming! I'm about to head out on the traditional daily routine lunch walk and hopefully warm up and start getting somewhere with stuff today. Maybe there's a glimpse of sun behind those clouds. Maybe the snow can fall off. Maybe there's hope after all.

For the most part rejoice, and open your jaws, and spit out some rythmics or slurp on some sauce. Or edible moss. Be good and degauss. Go hood like a boss. Not sure what I'm writing, need sleep as it was, but we are in awe of this legion and all. Keep on proceeding and seeing the Oz. The vision, in us... one day let us redeem tradition and be religion.

And 22/02/2022 is a thing apparently! Happy 22/02/2022.

It's Hard To Grow Up...

It's hard to grow up until there's someone more important then you.

The One Thing They CAN'T Control Will Set Us Free

Never mind the clickbait title! David Icke's just onto some good shit again.

Swollen Tongues & SEO Meetings

My mom had a severe allergic reaction this week.

Or a virus. Or some thyroid gland issue (as she's had before - though with different symptoms if such was the case). Or something we do nae know about, like potential belated covid-related complications?

People do seem to be getting 'em.

Whatever the cause was her tongue started swelling, and she started having trouble swallowing, and she woke me up in the middle of the night, and I called my sister who's a bit more knowledgeable about such things, and she calmed her down, and mom tried sleeping, and the next day it wasn't any better...

I took a sunshine walk and contemplated buying some Antihistamines to potentially ease the swelling, but if it wasn't an allergic reaction that might not be ideal, so I didn't. And mom didn't want to see a doctor, or call a doctor - we have some bad experiences with doctors, or interact with anyone at all really, so the day passed and I was hella tired from the sleep-deprived night prior... and then it got worse.

I finally convinced her to call 'medical advice', as it's called here - a department designated towards answering questions/offering advice regarding medical issues and ailments as such. It's free too.

I called in her place as she had trouble speaking. Described the symptoms, mentioned it'd been like this for two days now but seemed to be getting worse, and that she had trouble speaking and swallowing but no trouble breathing... and they called an ambulance.

The ambulance personnel called.

They asked further questions.

Mom took the phone and was suddenly speaking easier.

Everyone got dressed.

I had an important two-hour SEO meeting with a new business partner by Google Meet in the morning so I figured I'd try to actually get some sleep myself and let the medics hopefully manage this unnatural ailment, but that was easier said than done.

I lay in bed and listened through the floor when they finally arrived.

The doctor took a quick look at mom's tongue and said to his assistant:
Have you ever seen a tongue this big?

They gave her eight Cortisone tablets, and talked a while, explored the kitchen to fetch a glass of water, and seemed calm but also compelling when they recommended we drive in to the emergency ward right away to get this checked thoroughly.

Mouth issues were serious issues, they said.

At first they debated whether they should call an ambulance to pick up mom, but it would take an hour or so for it to reach us - they'd arrived by car themselves, or if we could drive in ourselves.

When they heard there was a young son living at home with this elderly couple the issue was apparently settled.

I'd drive.

So around 1 AM I rushed out and started the car, and scraped the car windows free from ice, and we gathered on the cool parking and drove in.

Their car was still waiting outside.

Maybe to make sure we really left.

The roads around 1-2 AM were empty, with only the occasional truck for company, and the sky dark, but the street lights wove through the void.
As a ribbon of life in this unusual vehicular vastness.

I couldn't drive too fast since my parents were along for the ride, but we sped towards the city with reasonable haste - still a bit above the speed limit, and with little hindrance.

It was refreshingly free.

The drive took around forty minutes.

I dropped off my parents by the emergency entrance, parked the car, made my way to the main entrance, and waited there while they did what had to be done.

Apparently they have self-serving kiosks in hospitals now.

If you have PressbyrÄn's app you can check into these yourself, and collect whatever edible items you like - say a sandwich and a warm cup of coffee - and then pay to exit the small glass-encased room. I assume.

I pondered eating something, but at this time of night it didn't seem wise.

I called my sister and informed her of the situation, and then sat in a waiting room alcove on the side of an empty and thus all the more visibly pompous hospital hall wondering what I'd do about tomorrow's meeting.

Should I send a message to my boss, and inform him that I might be a little out of focus at our meet, and hope he'd understand? Or ask if the meeting could possibly be postponed, or just suggest the alternative to?

Or would I actually manage alright? Would I sleep at all? Would a cup of strong coffee and a cold shower be enough to wake me properly after this?

My mom's ailment didn't seem as big an issue at that point.

She seemed better already during the car ride home.

The Cortisone tablets were reducing the swelling.

But I had a bit of an epiphany sitting there in the late night waiting room.

On how you'd best not take anything for granted, and appreciate what you have when you have it. On how you'd better live life to the fullest every day, both for you and for others. Because you never know what's next.

Whatever you have might not last. Whatever's next might be the end of it.

Small but sobering moments that remind you what really matters...

Moments later my phone rang. Mom and dad were on their way.

We made our way to the elevator, to the parking garage, to the car, in a strange kind of combined late-night daze and clarity, and drove home under a sky that was starting to brighten, on roads that were at 4 AM now suddenly bustling with life - early birds making their way wherever it was they were going at the dawn of this strange new day.

We got back home around 4:20.

I rushed inside, left my clothes in a pile, drank a glass of water, jumped in bed, made sure my alarm was set for the next day and wondered how ever I'd be able to fall asleep at such odd hours and if this meager amount of sleep would be enough to rest up at all if I managed.

And that's all I remember.

The meeting went alright, though it was later revealed my boss thought I'd been shocked by some of the propositions our business partner brought fourth.

My facial mimicry apparently wasn't always on point, and towards the end of it I reaaally needed a bathroom break. Too much coffee.

But it really is good to get out of your comfort zone occasionally too.

Strengthening moments with those.

And sobering ones, when unexpected things happen to those,
you hold close.

Patience Is Bitter...

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.

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