Remember when the lands were barren but magical? When the river of steel flowed through the hills, just like the river of flesh flowed though the castle? When the snake cult took the towers of the cities, and a child's mother was slaughtered in front of his eyes, and he grew up a slave, eventually becoming a warrior. He regained his freedom, he was killed but came back to life, and he journeyed across these vast lands for vengeance.
I do wonder if this movie would've been way better with someone but Arnold in the lead role, but maybe it is what it is because of him too.
He balances things out somehow. He may not be the best actor but he's definitely got something, and sometimes it works.
It does so here.
I love the night scenes here. The fires. The sorcery and surroundings. I love the essence of it all, and how it takes place in a time and place that doesn't seem tied to any one time or place in particular, and carries with it an air of both might and mystery, and a wave of women, even if only one is true.
It does you well to revisit the classics.
Maybe you'll cringe, but maybe you'll find the same pleasures as I did in this instead. Of journeying back to a time where all that mattered was power. In dreaming yourself away to a savage and cruel world, yet also one where it really took just one man to make a difference.
And maybe that's the ultimate lure here. That you can overcome the world. You can be a true hero. Or you can be whatever you are. A barbarian. A warrior. One who walks his own path and abides by no one.
Or something like that.
I really enjoyed this, even if it wasn't perfect, and the sequel's up next... the story of how Conan became king.
This one? It's the story of how he killed his captor.
And became free.
rated 4.5/5: almost awesome