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Drivers But No Drive

I missed my first deadline yesterday. The first deadline this term that I could have avoided. Technically I could have avoided the last deadline I missed as well - the one where I was out with a cold and our Internet went out at the same time - but this time it was a choice. I chose not to start in time. I chose to update drivers on my office/gaming rigs, play Oni and go through guides and software alternatives trying to figure out how to record it without lag, watch 'inspiring' Krizz Kaliko music videos (like this) trying to get myself together, watch old Conan O' Brian episodes to get in a better mood, and an eleven minute interview with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart (a promo for the Ride Along movie), take a shower and finally - I did get started. But it was way too late already. And now I'm writing this! Back from work and soon to embark on the writing venture I recently failed to complete.

Sure writers block sounds like a good excuse, that's something everyone's heard of (and uses) - but that's a bullshit excuse. Writer's block is fear of disapproval and rejection, doubt, self-pity and uncertainty - but most of all - it's laziness. It's not taking the time to brainstorm ideas, revise, plan ahead; instead simply rely on surges of inspiration to get where you want to go. There may be some other elements of my twisted psyche that factor in, but the bottom line is that it's a conscious choice and it's a stupid one to make - to stall. This is the last deadline I'm going to miss - by choice.

Because why? Because I feel bad. Feeling bad does not boost my confidence. It does not help me further myself in life. It does not make me feel good. And missing a deadline has consequences not just for me - for how I view myself - but in what others think about me. Not to mention my grade. Sure people might think I've been super-busy or sick and the lateness is entirely merited, but if they're anything like me they'll know that's not the case. It's a process of loathing and lingering. I have been busy - with the wrong things. I have been sick - of myself. I've never in my life cared about drivers before, so why now? Considering plenty were outdated and in dire need of upgrading it is good I impulsively got around to checking, but there's no deadline on a driver update. I'm going to stop focusing on drivers and focus on my drive! Right now. That's all.

Comments

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  1. Doomroar
    Monday Apr/7/2014

    Man you take procrastination to a level when i feel ashamed when i call myself lazy XD.

    So you were able to miss that deadline without repercussions, or are you getting a downgrade for it?

    Also, my PC is acting up lately, i fear it will fail me at the worst of times, but i can't really take it to analysis right now, with that said, updating those drivers was not really a bad idea.

  2. Cyber
    Wednesday Apr/9/2014

    Haha it's a serious thing man! I know how stalling once with something so easily makes it a vicious cycle, I've almost failed courses earlier because of this shit. Depends on what you procrastinate with though.

    Yeah I'll probably get a downgrade for this one, it's half a grade for each late date.

    The right idea at the wrong time. :) How's the PC acting up? Strange sounds? Booting problems? Maybe I could offer advice.

  3. Doomroar
    Wednesday Apr/9/2014

    Maybe some productive procrastination could be useful, but then... it is really procrastination!? DUN DUN DUN.

    Half a grade sounds like it hurts man.

    I will take it this Friday, it had a booting problem, then it didn't recognize the mouse, then the GPU decided to put random red lines on my monitor (which i recently changed), and then when i rebooted it all worked properly... the next day the system asked my for hard disk checks, i went with it, found some errors and fixed it, i recently bough a new hard disk so it can't be that, but in case it is, i have the guaranty for that.

    Anyway i fear that it may be the motherboard messing with all the connections for them to fail me at the same time... my drivers are up to date, and there is no apparent problem with the BIOS, oh and then Chrome went and decided that it was a good time for flash to crash constantly, navigating NG was a pain, so i went to chrome://plugins/ and disabled one of the 2 Adobe Flash Players, it worked somehow fine, however today just started, everything seems fine, except Chrome since i have yet to start my rounds that involve flahs.

  4. Cyber
    Wednesday Apr/9/2014

    Ah, but all procrastination is productive in some way, even doing nothing has its benefits! It's when you are intentionally doing things you know you shouldn't be doing - regardless of the productivity level of said task - that you are procrastinating. Or hmm, that might apply to crime as well, and... stuff...

    Well it's not that bad, but half a grade is half a grade, there are more than twice as many assignments as there are grades so... gotta step my game up. :)

    Alright, hope it's an easy fix, seems like you know more about what it could be than I do. I've had issues with a defective GPU, a loose power supply, drives and RAM - but no mobo issues this far. You had two Adobe Flash Players?? Btw, how often do you update drivers? Do you use a program to check them automatically? I tried a few; eventually settled for DriverUpdate. Real simple to use.

  5. Cyber
    Wednesday Apr/9/2014

    Do you have a backup computer btw?

  6. Doomroar
    Thursday Apr/10/2014

    I don't how watching those 50+ TMNT parodies videos could be productive XD.

    That is how they get us, they say it's just half a grade, so we relax, and then... damn one grade, 2 grades, and now we just can't let go of dat stress bar.

    Well i suspect the mobo, but i really have no idea of what it could be, it worked perfectly fine today, like if everything was just an illusion, i hate when that happens because it makes it all even more weird,luckily i can see the data on the event log when it is recorded that the PC indeed failed me. Yeah Google Chrome uses 2 Adobe Flash Players by default, the regular one and one that comes with Chrome, and they apparently go and enter in conflict every now and then, today it worked like it should no crashes at all (of course i had the regular one disabled).
    I usually don't update that often just when i get paranoid or suspicious, i like to go to the manufacturer's page, so far the most common one i find myself fighting with is the one of GPU and Wired net connection, as for generals i have been stuck with a now quite old program called EVEREST, this version also updates drivers, however i don't like to use it that much, because while it works it also likes to devour memory like a fat kid on a pizza shop.

    Yeah i have an old laptop, and there is always my mom's PC, but would i be in the mood to thinker with that laptop or my mom's PC? unlikely. And once i get home to take my PC to be checked i know that i won't be going back to campus just to connect myself to the internet, so everything seems to be pointing towards an offline friday.

    To tell you the truth a part of me wants this to morph into an excuse to upgrade my GPU, while the other wants all this to be just me exaggerating a bunch of distasteful coincidences.

  7. Cyber
    Thursday Apr/10/2014

    lmao, at least they were short right. :) Your productive habits have been... unmasked!

    And I might not even be getting A+ as initial score so... it could get real low real quickly. O_o

    I guess you've done virus/malware scans already? I guess the extra plugin might be like a backup generator, if one crashes the other will keep running so you don't even notice it... or not. Might explain part of its high resource usage.

    Ah, always good knowing what others be using, though it looks like EVEREST has been discontinued now. Updating drivers seems to be a pretty time-consuming process... actually never done it before yesterday, I've never had a need to. I did try once on an ancient Win98 computer but due to unforseen circumstances that never happened! Mmmm pizza

    Offline rather than using a different computer than the one you're used to? O_o Man I've even resorted to cellphones on occasion when the main one was incapacitated somehow, though they don't compare. I have two backup stationaries now though so it's all good, though I wouldn't want to connect the oldest to the net - it runs XP and I got rid of all anti-virus stuff to make it faster. Anyway scratch that comment about: offline time is much needed restoration time, revitalization stage, recuperation moment. Freedom!!

    Haha I can relate to that... it'd be costly though. What GPU do you have now?

  8. Doomroar
    Friday Apr/11/2014

    Some really felt like a waste of time though, and the others were short XD.

    Damn man, is not numeric grades? even worse then, the pressure is felt even faster.

    Yeah, i actually have ESET set to scan every day, and then do a deep scan once each week.

    Oh EVEREST is discontinued? no wonder it stopped asking me to update it XD.

    I can see myself reading, practicing Jap, doing homework, actually not slacking, yeah i wonder if i will survive that day, i may even draw and get back to that painting!

  9. Cyber
    Friday Apr/11/2014

    If it feels like a waste of time then... you need to keep those feelings in check. :P I played through Oni once more yesterday; recorded it all. Not sure if I feel like it was a waste or not...

    Yeah, A-F. I'm aiming for AC. It's cool.

    Woah, I don't even scan for malware that often, probably once or twice a week at most. Drivers... once every ten years haha, so far, going to be a bit more often now that I have a program for it. That's a good routine.

    They didn't even give a message? I can think of a few ways they could improve their marketing tactics. :) There's a new product to replace it though.

    Drawing! Should definitely delve back into some creative workshopping! Doesn't sound too bad. I usually get way to distracted by the net, so much else I could/should be doing.

  10. Doomroar
    Sunday Apr/13/2014

    Is not really fair to compare playing Oni to watching 50+ parodies of the same movie trailer, specially since a lot of those were quite bad actually, deprived of any sense of humor, made only to feed a bandwagon.

    Keep that confidence, it helps a lot.

    Well i will be changing it (already did) to 3 scans per week, and one deep scan, i just got my PC back, it was just an overcharge, they did some checks with a program which name i already forgot, and they found some viruses that were outside the range of my antivirus, other than that everything was working properly, Mr VicariousE actually predicted that something like that could be happening, i still don't know what caused the power charge since my UPS didn't registered anything unusual.

    TL:DR i worried for nothing XD.

    Is there? but i don't even use EVEREST that much, hell i normally am pretty chill with my PC i update drivers only when i get paranoid, and for that i need something like what happened recently to happen haha.

    Well guess what, i did nothing of that XD, i was asleep for most of the day, and then read some texts, and back to sleep haha.

  11. Cyber
    Sunday Apr/13/2014

    Mmm, but I've probably played through Oni about 20 times already. It's starting to feel a bit less productive than the first ten or so attempts...

    Hope you didn't miss the AC pun? AC = Cool? I'll try!

    Ah, how many virus programs do you run? Any separate ones for malware? Would've been nice knowing what they used to find the ones that 'normal ones' seem to miss. I'm just running MSE myself, and occasionally malware scans with IO Bit Malware Fighter, Malwayrebytes, SuperAntiSpyware, ADWCleaner, TDSSKiller and EmsisoftEmergencyKit. Not always all at the same time though... guess that depends on paranoia levels too. :)

    So was it a problem with the UPS? Is it a laptop? I thought you were running a stationary (if it is - I didn't know that kind of thing could happen to those). Never TL:DR when it comes to computers! :P Better safe than sorry anyway.

    Alright. :)

    Haha, sounds like you needed the rest man.

  12. Doomroar
    Tuesday Apr/15/2014

    By less productive, i assume you mean less fun?

    Not if you use it as a heather!

    Those are a lot of programs! but the one they used is none of those, it was a downloadable executable, called Ally stars something, it required an account password to connect to server, and then it did the scan. I use Eset 32, and used to run EVEREST in the disk to detect anomalies, nothing much since Eset detects most things anyways, except for those 2 things that the other program got and cleaned.

    It is desktop PC which is connected to an UPS to avoid problems, and it happened, haha, but i still don't know what was at fault.

  13. Doomroar
    Tuesday Apr/15/2014

    heater* (i knew it something was bugging all day)

  14. Cyber
    Wednesday Apr/16/2014

    Indeed, less fun = less meaning, meaning less feelings of productivity. :/ And I already have video material for at least five walkthroughs...

    You mean Heather AC's hot? :P

    I just stumbled upon http://scanally.com/ ...not the same thing! Well with the account-requirement thing it doesn't seem like something for the average peoples person anyway. I've heard only great things about Eset 32! Though I'd get at least one malware program too.

    Ahh, strange things happenin'

  15. Doomroar
    Thursday Apr/17/2014

    Maybe give it a momentary rest, then get back to the game.

    Dammit man i am sure i made the clarification! (let me google that, yeah she is hot XD)

    Yeah it seemed like something really pro specific. Yeah overall i am pleased with Eset, and i actually use eset for that too, which one do you recommend?

    Magnets.

  16. Cyber
    Thursday Apr/17/2014

    I did that. Can't seem to leave it alone for more than a year at a time though! :P Potential month-long Oni hiatus just started.

    Haha

    I agree btw!

    I've always liked Malwarebytes, though I have no idea how well it fares against the competition. SuperAntiSpyware (crappy name but good product) always seems to find something the former doesn't, though it also gets rid of session cookies for places like Google. So either one of those or both... they're both free btw.

    That's the fault?

  17. Doomroar
    Thursday Apr/17/2014

    Man you really do love that game, how long it is? i am considering giving it a try.

    Haha.

    Oh interesting, i will check them.

    Na it was a joke on insane clown posse and their miracles song.

  18. Cyber
    Thursday Apr/17/2014

    You could say that. :) I don't remember how long it took when I started out, maybe a week of casual play/a weekend of intensive play... not that long. The levels are pretty linear if you don't explore everything, but the combat system takes time to perfect, though after a while even hard is easy; fun... except for the Dream Lab level! Anyway, if you do play, be sure to download the Anniversary Mod for it, it fixes a few bugs, adds support for larger resolutions etc - and lets you install a selection of additional supported mods with a click each. The game's from 2001 so... graphical enhancements make a big difference!

    Alright. :)

    Haha that song... first time listening btw.

  19. Doomroar
    Friday Apr/18/2014

    Oh interesting i also heard that each level is pseudo-open world meaning that you can explore the whole thing from the get go, is it true?

    Lol give the parody made by SNL a search is hilarious! na you know what here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alI12mhWZ2Q make sure to also charge the original, have a laugh haha.

  20. Cyber
    Friday Apr/18/2014

    Each level is basically one larger complex or building (like the 'syndicate mountain compound' or 'airport'), but they're all divided up in sections that'll need to be unlocked as you progress. You can occasionally choose different paths, and easily skip certain parts, but there are checkpoints which can't be avoided. It does give the player a lot of freedom in how to tackle each level though... and enemies are spawned differently depending on where you go, who you kill etc. I think I have most enemy patterns/spawns figured out by now. :)

    Blankets. Haha, not bad! The hosts of the show aren't bad either, I might tune in to some more of this...

  21. Doomroar
    Saturday Apr/19/2014

    Sounds interesting, i will give it a try, someday around this year and the next.

    Yeah SNL is great and it has Kennan from Kenan & Kel!!!

  22. Cyber
    Saturday Apr/19/2014

    Hope you get the same (totally positive completely awesome) impressions from it as I did! :)

    Whoo, Kenan & Kel!!! Whomever they are. I guess that's another comical duo I should look up huh?

  23. Doomroar
    Sunday Apr/20/2014

    Yeah, i hope the same XD.

    Really? that is one iconic show from the 90's one of the scarce ones that are worth remembering and i don't even like live action.

  24. Cyber
    Sunday Apr/20/2014

    As long as there is hope...!

    Really as in: have I never heard of it? :L Yeah, but I'll give it a shot. Never heard the term live action used apart from anime either btw. As far as TV shows go btw, ever watched Sledge Hammer?

  25. Doomroar
    Monday Apr/21/2014

    Na i was not alive in the 80's.

  26. Cyber
    Monday Apr/21/2014

    Ah, good point. I don't think I watched any TV shows via TV in the 90s either though... caught up on most of this stuff via the net later on.

  27. Doomroar
    Monday Apr/21/2014

    Yeah but i didn't used the net to watch any kind of show that i didn't watched previously on TV, so i pretty much missed all that.

  28. Cyber
    Monday Apr/21/2014

    Sounds like: it's time1 Sledge Hammer was a pretty awesome Dirty Harry parody, didn't find out about it until a few years ago, but it's like one long eighties action movie. Dusty car chases, loud gunfights, tough thugs, renegade cops... all that stuff. :)

  29. Doomroar
    Monday Apr/21/2014

    Interesting but nowadays i am not watching any show in particular, not even the ones that everyone is watching.

  30. Cyber
    Monday Apr/21/2014

    Aight, if you can stay away that's great! Only series I'm following right now is Walking Dead, made the mistake of watching the first episode and then... I was stuck. :/

  31. Doomroar
    Wednesday Apr/23/2014

    I know that it is good, and planned on getting into the comics but man, i just don't want to start putting time for that franchise, even if i know that is a good franchise.

  32. Cyber
    Thursday Apr/24/2014

    Go for it! I mean: go for not watching it! It's a total waste of time! All these series to which you get hooked so easily and just keep watching even when you're really not getting anything from it! Stay away! Be wary! Try some Oni!

  33. Doomroar
    Friday Apr/25/2014

    Yeah i think that i will try Oni before i try the Walking Dead, and that would still take some time before it happens.

  34. Cyber
    Friday Apr/25/2014

    Looks like my attempt at subliminal propaganda failed. :) But yeah, good choice.

  35. Doomroar
    Saturday Apr/26/2014

    Haha

  36. Cyber
    Saturday Apr/26/2014

    Fun fact: that was the 700th comment on the site! ;)

  37. Doomroar
    Sunday Apr/27/2014

    Yay milestone!

  38. Cyber
    Sunday Apr/27/2014

    Fun fact: that was the 704th comment on the site! ;)

  39. Doomroar
    Sunday Apr/27/2014

    Well a milestone can be whatever anyway XD.

  40. Cyber
    Monday Apr/28/2014

    710! Woot! Should I keep counting? :P

    I remember I had a post way way back giving a prize to whomever posted the hundredth comment btw. There were tons of forum games at the time on 'let's reach a million posts' and stuff like that... it was a working parody but I don't recall how many comments it actually amounted to. I do remember that those comments were the only ones I didn't port when moving all from the old engine to this one. The database used to be .txt and there was no way (that I knew of at least) to import them by batch between formats so I had to move em all one by one, typing in name, data, email, message... kinda tiresome task. I hope that never has to be done again...

  41. Doomroar
    Tuesday Apr/29/2014

    Murphy's law!

  42. Cyber
    Tuesday Apr/29/2014

    A great comic!



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