Märta died a few days ago. The funeral will be held on June 10. If I had a car I'd drive up, but I don't. The rest of the family will be at the summer place by then and taking the train/renting a car on my own is too big a cost and bother. Taking a train and renting a car is the only alternative since there is no airport nearby, so, hmm, thinkable but not doable.
I wish I could have made it though. A funeral is symbolic, it's a final farewell; a matter of respect. It's not the living individual you are there to greet anymore, it's a time to treasure memories and let go. Since I won't be there it feels like I'm being ungrateful to the person that passed away. I'm not. I didn't know you much, but you will be missed. The times we did visit you always gave a warm welcome, you appreciated life, you were caring and considerate; a great person.