Inktober #22 - When Inspiration Wanes...

My inspiration wanes... wish I was playing some other game, than life,
But I can't complain I can't complain!
I can watch movies I can get on planes and fly up to the North again,
Every year, up and down, it's the same.

Have cents to spare on foods when I need to eat I'm good,
I buy games and I get books - though always when on sale.
I support a few people and get in credits with my name,
I've bought a couple paintings, put the Perrotin to shame

I have spare time, when I can get out or clear mind
Have time to still record this and air all my fears high
Sit in a dark light, rhyming up things on a sharp mic
I've watched Jaws, Sharknado, Snow and Sand Sharks, not Shark Night yet

And I'm on the Internet, been running a site some eighteen years
Remember when you were just eighteen yeah?
When you looked at your parents like they were old as fuck, and hope to strut,
Way past them have a blast then in a mo' you're stuck

And you're just in that adult life, waiting and stagnating
For what. For family? For only biological mating?
You have a car and you have costs, and you wonder what it was
That you dreamt of, when you were just a little kid and lost

Have I spent all my energy on being dependent and free
And still I live in this old system that commends only greed?
And vote for the same politicians that mess up their job,
And still get a paycheck for the rest of their life when they're off

Did I chose the wrong path? Could've been a con man too
Could've had pockets full of cash and gone that route
It seems naive to feel the world is worth saving
When you look down at the dirt pavement

...

Sometimes that is what hurts ain't it? That whatever existence you create.
What difference does it make when you just live with all these apes.
All these cancerous cretins who can't see the shit they step in,
And walk around spreading that shit, these foul-smelling of brethren,

But if you don't tell them they've stepped in shit, how will they know?
Open their eyes and you open a ray of hope.
A little ray may be just a sliver and barely noted,
But a river of little rays? Better than a whole emote grid

If you stay holed in your home maybe it does seem hopeless,
Cause no one will know you even cope with the cold at your lowest,
If they don't at least see you seasonally equip your clothing!
There's no betterment in bitterness, no happiness in loathing,

No progress! Take one to make up for lost steps!
And I want to run now! Serotonin mosh pit aw shit!
The safe routines you make they are just barriers for time
That truly matters! Get out of your acrid bin and shine!

Step out of the line sometimes! If you hear wrong you say NO!
Be the hero YOU would go to who doesn't fear a failure's woe!
Stare the stairs down till the wise guys aren't beaming on a terrace,
But graveling beneath you in the grievance of their errors

...

That's not harrowing is it? That's the goal.
The battle, is to be artistic and in control,
To know of your own faults, to know you aren't whole,
To know you are all learning as you go with the ropes,

To just keep on getting better,
Till your competitors fall down and it seems you've
Been the lead forever

To keep on helping others,
Till you feel you've helped yourself to discover,
The worth of this endeavor, and your brothers,

Everyone's a family!
I'll be damned if I don't feel at least happy with my day
When I'm back to sleep

Life may be turbulent,
But I'm not burning through this candle I'm revering it,
Till I have no fear of death.

Just appreciation, for those who do good!
And can stand clear and adjacent, and be a bit more patient,
Know we'll clear this nation, of those in control,
And give it back it's soul y'know?

There's a window. For change.

As long as we know. We can.

Let's go; take aim!

...

When inspiration wanes... shit gets real!