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Kill’em All (2017)

Kill’em All (2017)

It's a new Van Damme movie! Though unfortunately: not his best.

For starters there's too much slow-motion blur. You know the kind of slow-motion with low frame rate, filmed as to make it seem like something happened too fast to capture? That and a distracting third-person-narrative starring Suzanne (Autumn Reeser) in questioning.

They drag out a short moment, a killing spree at a hospital, and make it seem like it took an entire day. The fights get better and better, but they keep jumping back to the interrogation room, and though I was positively surprised to see Peter Stormare as one of the interrogators (has he ever been in a JCVD movie before?) I wasn't as positive about his and Suzanne's exchange of witty remarks, and flashbacks into what should've been the big story.

There are flashbacks further back, too. Inconsistent and irrelevant glimpses of times of war, and training, and a tragic past that never seems all that tragic because you're never there long enough to live into it. The bumpy movement between past, and closer past, and present, are just too big a distraction. It'd be, like, reading, a sentence, like, this, you know? What I'm? Saying?

There's also plenty of cliche, and not the best actors. JCVD looks tired too, as if it's an excuse to be weaker. Good acting if he wasn't, but slow fighting. At least with the earlier fights. Maybe he's just tired of the movie.

There's one redeeming twist at the end, and unfortunately it's a twist that relies largely on earlier flashbacks. It's a shame, because this movie might have been a lot better in first-person. One redeeming twist and awesome outro music, courtesy of Martin Melota. Not a bad movie, but could've been better.

 rated 3/5: not bad

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