To be or not to be, innit?

A British satirist has translated 15 of Shakespeare’s classic plays into chav speak.

Martin Bauam’s updated version of Hamlet reveals: “Dere was somefing minging in de State of Denmark.”

The Danish prince, who is re-named ‘Amlet, asks: “To be or not to be, innit?”, while Romeo pines for his “fit bitch Jools”.

Mr Baum’s other titles include Macbeff, Much Ado About Sod All, De ‘Appy Bitches of Windsor, De Taming of de Bitch, Two Geezas Of Verona and All’s Sweet That Ends Sweet, Innit.

Mr Baum, 48, says his versions of the Bard’s classics, while abridged, remain true to the originals, retaining “the important sexist, duplicitous, cross-dressing and violent moments that made William Shakespeare well wicked.”

Mr Baum’s version of Romeo and Juliet sets the scene for the star-crossed lovers with: “Verona was de turf of de feuding Montagues and de Capulet families.

“And coz they was always brawling and stuff, de prince of Verona told them to cool it or else they was gonna get well mashed if they carried on larging it with each other.”

If the Bard was living today, Mr Baum writes on his website, he would “still be writing in the Globe turf, getting loads of respect from the Stratford-upon-Avon massive and producing works of pure genius.”

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