Machete Kills (2013)

Machete kills, and Machete kills it... once again! And it looks like Machete Kills Again will be the next killer Machete thriller, coming soon, presidentially approved... a kickass action movie with a kickass cast, definitely something to look forward to!

Danny Trejo may not be the best actor out there, he may not be the youngest one either, but he's the perfect fit for this role. He's tough, he's gritty, he's scarred and he is oldskool. He's got that squint, ya know?

I haven't been anticipating this movie so stumbling upon it by chance was a nice surprise. It's professional 'B-movies' like this that I like the most, and I'm stunned they keep managing to gather together all-star casts like the one in this movie. Here's some of the famous names in the mix: Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding Jr, Vanessa Hudgens, Alexa PenaVega, Amber Heard and eh... Demian Bichir? To be honest I don't recognize all the names, but I recognize the people when I see them. The acting's great, it's better than I expected... even the main character does a pretty good job! :D

If you're looking for fights, catchy one-liners, bar scenes, car chases, gun fights, knife fights, bombs, explosions, blood, gore, guts, martial arts, spaceships, sexy ladies, high-tech weaponry, drama, comedy... it's got it. It's got Charlie Sheen as president and lady Gaga as an assassin FFS. Go watch!

Oh, the plot? Well Machete looses a loved one yet again, he seeks vengeance, he stumbles upon a madman with a missile launch sequence hot-wired to his heart, etcetc. The plot's not the most important part, but it was surprisingly clever. It's a crazy ride! And I'm hyped about the next one. By now I trust these initially fake trailers actually deliver, and it'll be... awesome! No doubt!

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle