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Zombie Ass (2011)

Zombie Ass (2011)

Original Japanese Title: Zonbi Asu.

Perversities, crazy props, and a mountain trip spoiled by a parasitic ass-inhabiting organisms and a mad father/daughter duo with incurable disease.

Somewhere along the way it does go from at least somewhat serious and intense to more so silly and just-enjoy-the-ride, and I slowly go from being grossed out to maybe being cured of a dormant phobia for parasites. Not that I'd eat any voluntarily but... they're just hive-minded organisms with shit for brains huh.

Special effects towards the end might've been a bit crappier than they were in the beginning, but from the very first ass opening - maybe even earlier - I was hooked to this. Admirable all-outedess and creative everything, from the fighting choreography (Knife Girl For The World) to the mind-bending soundtrack and self-exploding heads.

If you watch this you'd better not be expecting anything serious, but it does leave you... somewhat inspired.

End of the dead indeed. Let us live. Right on.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Mary Millingtons True Blue Confessions (1980)

Mary Millingtons True Blue Confessions (1980)

The interviews might not feel the most relaxed, the soundtrack's sometimes a bit strange (but still awesome - it's the eighties), and the story doesn't feel entirely complete but... it's about Mary Millington! A pornstar I'm not sure I'd ever heard of before, who lived on the bright between sexual liberation and degeneration, and committed suicide 1979, only 33 years old. Ten years before I was even born.

Judging by included voice recordings she might not have been the smartest individual, but she seemed to be a warm one, and what a bod! What a shame they didn't know proper make-up was back in the day (clarification: either have none at all or do it better), and that British accents (at least at the time) seem to necessitate a certain downward lip curl for certain dialog which looks a bit strange.

I don't mean to be judgmental though. Fascinating person; decent homage, done in a way I think would've been very very different today.

Also interesting to get a glimpse into the sex scene in England - or Europe at all for that matter - when today for some reason most of it seems to be centered on the US.

 rated 3/5: not bad

Emanuelle In America (1977)

Emanuelle In America (1977)

The plot's a bit flimsy, but I guess that's really not an issue with softcore porn is it?

This is basically that. The story of Emanuelle, a dark-skinned exotic girl with a liberal sexual hunger, who hangs around with eccentrics. Guys, and girls, and couples, and has intimate moments all whilst digging up truths about them and putting them in the papers.

She has a boyfriend who lives a similar life. They're refreshingly free, and it ends in a flimsy but conclusive way on a tribal beach... wonder what that part was really all about. The next movie, as it commences within the current movie, maybe...? Or maybe it's totally irrelevant after all.

It just dawned on me that it's the seventies too, so maybe this isn't porn after all. Maybe it's just as abstract and exploratory as it sometimes seems to be. The sexual liberation act - freedom of a woman - all easy to follow on film.

It's not bad either. Laura Gemser's easy on the eyes and fun to follow - not the best actress though she may be, and it's good to be reminded there was a time when we were all humans. Hungrier, not totally waxed, and not so distanced from the fun it seems like the world's turned totally depraved the last few decades.

Anyway: good movie. Rich locales. Plenty of intrigue. I miss the times when even movies like this could be creative, and uphold some kind of budget and class. It's not just all about that ass.

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

Bioåret 2019

That'd be: The Cinema Year 2019.

Didn't I post this earlier? Can't find it. So here we go...

Ditt Bioår i siffror


Bad Boys For Life (2020)

Bad Boys For Life (2020)

I might be forgetting details in the prequels, but unexpectedly this one felt like the best one yet. If no more than by the way it starts. The Porsche. Lawrence still in his prime. Will a bit older and rougher but still that same dude: Bulletproof Mike.

Some twists you expect, some you don't. Sometimes the scenes transition perfectly, sometimes it's just a bit too fast. Sometimes you laugh, some­times you cry, but the cinematics, the personal drama, the party and that waterfront penthouse/ocean vibe - it's all there, and I love every second.

It's refreshing to see Rita back in the game too (never mind I thought she was Téa Leoni from the first one), and the main bad guy/gal duo are something else. Jacob Scipio's the perfect tough guy, and Kate del Castillo the perfect woman.

Apart from the occasional CGI that doesn't quite fly all the way (something with the burning building for one; something about the helicopter chase too) it's American action comedy as I just haven't seen it done in a long time. Not since the era of Lethal Weapon, Hollywood Cop, and of course the one and only, original Bad Boys.

Glad they got the third one out in time. Before the element of old and traditional versus new and improved totally took over.

I watched this in January btw. Bit late with this review...

 rated 5/5: friggin awesome


John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)

John Wick is back at it again! Taking his art of violence to the next level, all the while innocent (and not innocent) bystanders get caught up in the crossfire.

It was a pleasant surprise to see some of the action cinema martial art world's more foreign faces along for the ride, both the so very violent (but awesome) Yayan Ruhian and Cecep Arif Rahman from Indonesia (maybe most known from 'The Raid Redemption'), as well as the exotic American action icon Mark Dacascos - who for some reason reminds me of Brandon Lee. Bruce Lee's son. Turning to Google now he looks nothing alike though. Maybe I've mistaken the name/actor earlier.

Overall this movie's an action feast unlike others, where although sometimes bullets have a tendency to miss even when it seems the shooter wouldn't be incompetent enough that they would miss all that easily, this is a minor grievance. The action scenes mix in occasional grim cynicalism and comedy in such a way that it's easy to distance yourself from the faults, and just enjoy the journey. And the choreography, of course.

Cause that's what it is. It's John Wick's journey. And it's a bad-ass journey. It's colorful, classy, and glassy - this time with horses, dogs, swords and even Halle Berry in the mix.

I love it! And I think everyone else in the room did so too (watched it on the big screen earlier this year), even though when it's over it feels like one of those movies you just can't praise after all. It's so RAW. It's so mindless. It'd seem shallow to say you love it but... what can I say. I love it. I love depth too, but these types of movies hold a special place in my heart as well. The action choreography is just so classy and creative it's crazy. It's a blast wave you're facing if you wave at the screen. Yupp. Straight out amazing.

The only bits that bug me a bit are the notably fake bits, like John's fall off the roof, the horse kicks, and the Indonesian fight bit where either the Indonesians were scared of injuring Keanu, or he just couldn't match their pace. Something's off with that battle. Maybe they'll perfect their craft until the next round.

There's also the fact that John jumps back and forth across the world so easily, without transition, even when that difficulty was supposed to be one of the focal points of the film. And he's sure forgiven fast. Inconsistencies.

I was really expecting this to be the finale too, but it looks like there's more on the way! I can't wait. Even if it's just a way to keep making money at this point it's gonna be one hell of a showdown.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

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