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Parker (2013)

Parker (2013)

A thug gets betrayed by his partners, is left for dead, and seeks revenge. That's Parker. AKA Jason Statham.

He stumbles upon a real-estate agent, Leslie Rodgers, played by Jennifer Lopez. Things don't all go the way they're planned, they get messy, but it's about principle, because that's just the kind of man that Parker is.

Prepare for a somewhat different kind of heist movie! If you've read the books you'll know what this is all about. It's not perfect, but that's part of the charm, and it's messy in a good way. The order of chaos - what's that called again? Whatever it is though Parker's mastered it.

Also, best ending line ever: It's the mailman - nothing but bills!

RIP Donald E. Westlake! And may Parker live forever. I didn't like this movie this much the first time I watched it, but now, damn. He really got it right.

Refreshingly crude professionalism. Action. Got it.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

The Key (2008)

The Key (2008)

This one starts a B-movie but... yeah, it stays a B-movie too.

I was hoping for more. They've got something going with the blood and that so very vague premise of it all, but lack of scenery, bad recording quality, not the best actors (but not the worst either)... it all boils down to a somewhat exciting but-not-all-the-way-through horror movie about five friends who attempt to shoot a documentary in a haunted house... when things start to go horribly wrong.

There's also a key, and a lot of cleavage, but unfortunately the sound suffers similar consequence, as does the quality of the film.

I don't want to rate this too low since it had some strong points, it just isn't one I'd want to watch again.

 rated 2/5: decent

Undisputed 3 - Redemption (2010)

Undisputed 3 - Redemption (2010)

Bad knee, good knee, no knee... you can rely on Boyka to put up a good fight either way! Though it certainly hasn't been easy it seems he did recover from the fatal injury in his last round, and when talk of a nationwide prison tournament comes up: he wants in. Enter Mykel Shannon Jenkins, Lateef Crowder, Esteban Cueto and quite a few new fighters too! Gone is the Iceman: it's all Boyka now.

And oddly enough he's suddenly become a somewhat sympathetic main character. You could say the shift is for the worse, in that the movie loses a bit of its former edge, but at the same time it also shows that everything isn't all black and white. It depends on how you're looking at the picture.

It's another good fight movie too. I'm starting to feel like parts of these soundtracks are pretty out of place, but overall there's little to complain about. The choreography stays strong, and once again it's a tough ride to the ultimate victory, with quite a few people trying to get in the way of the one and only. And that's all, then he's Undisputed once again. For now.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Undisputed 2 - Last Man Standing (2006)

Undisputed 2 - Last Man Standing (2006)

Sequel to the 2002 film. This time, Heavyweight Champ George "Iceman" Chambers is sent to a Russian Jail on trumped-up drug charges.

...only the Iceman is a new Iceman this time, played by Michael Jai White, who coincidentally also played the character this character was based on in another movie (Mike Tyson).

It's time for Michael Jai White and Scott Adkins to meet, too! And for this series to get a whole lot more vicious. The fights are no longer strictly boxing, and noticeably sped up, but in terms of general choreography and energy this is on a whole new level.

Not as authentic but a lot more bad-ass.

Neither of the lead characters disappoint either. They're made for their roles, though here the adversary comes across as more as the villain, and the Iceman as the (sort of) good guy.

It's basically a new version of the first movie with a few elements turned around.

The acting's not all on top, but it is a solid movie, both a prison and a fight one, and there's not much more to say really. It's in Russia. It's savage.

It's not bad.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Undisputed (2002)

Undisputed (2002)

Time to dive back to the prison fight movie #1! The one with Wesley Snipes and Ving Rhames AKA George Chambers AKA The Iceman - a title that becomes reoccurring within this particular franchise, and is by the way also an alternative title for this one movie. And the one Tyson went by IRL.

It's a good movie. It's got some Michael Rooker and Peter Falk, and was directed by Walter Hill - a big fan of boxing, who said this in an interview: Some say Hollywood movies that are made about boxing, are just metaphors for other things, I think I've made one that's actually about boxing, and not a metaphor.

I think I agree. It's not a particularly deep or flashy movie, but a thorough one, and the one fight that all trials and training sessions lead up to is one thorough fight.

Props on Wesley and Ving for really lending their roles credibility too. Ving trained for two years to get in suitable form, and Wesley learned from the best. And y'all know Wesley. Authentic fight. Good show. Lots of attitude.

The title's worthy.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Halloween (2018)

Halloween (2018)

Blumhouse took over Halloween too! :O Bold move, but they did it well.

It's not directly a reboot either - in difference from the last time this franchise was brought back, but rather a follow-up to the original from exactly 40 years back. Ignoring Rob Zombie's trademark attempt a 2007, it instead breaths new life into the Michael Meyers myth by bringing the viewer into the asylum he's been housed in for a full lifetime following the dreadful first event, and all this time without speaking a single word.

They build up his image via the words of those around him, most strongly uttered by his previous doctor, who came to the conclusion that he was truly evil incarnate, and that there was no other choice but to kill him, and to destroy the body. His new doctor - one who has devoted pretty much his entire life to the study of this morbid man, who happens to look a bit like Einstein, has a whole other kind of interest in his patient...

The survivors from the original movie are there too, and of course it just so happens after this atmospheric introduction that Michael is about to get transferred to a new facility and... doesn't make it all the way. All of a sudden he's roaming the streets again, on Halloween, wielding his trademark mask. He has a knife. His adversaries have guns. But what does that do, really? He's Michael Meyers.

It's a pretty atmospheric movie! Not so scary as suspenseful, and a welcome new take on the original franchise. It brings it all back in a both familiar and respectable way. Not distorting things from the original. Not trying to modernize everything too much. It keeps it close and personal, and bloody. Some of the screams were a bit excessive, and some encounters a bit too basic, but overall it's got a good thing going. Blumhouse. Another work of horror under their belt done well. I'm hopeful about a sequel too.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

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