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Hazardously Occupied

Seems to me authors are - out of the common occupations around the world - those most exposed to disease, depression and death. It's not strange, really, since they constantly find new ways to describe these scenarios and are always through their writing traumatically toying with placidly possible ends of life and chaotic conviction. You can't commonly be mentally disarranged without being a genius, and most geniuses apparently chose to portray their ideals and stories through works with words. Authors have a much shorter lifespan than the average hardworking regularian, those dedicated to any stable occupation complying regular mental/physical stimulus in a naturally routinized environment. Authors are the ones who work on the most irregular of basis, the ones who always are subject to the sometimes nonexistent and sometimes unbearable workloads, fatigued by their own senses of emotional devotion, sentenced to a lifetime of bad habits and irregularity

Then again, literature is the only true form of limitless portrail available, a one where all senses can be recorded and kept, in which there are guidelines as how to describe things so people understand you but yet no walls to keep out the sunlight when it does shine or hinder you from throwing new concepts to the crowds. For some there are no crowds, some writers phrase their thoughts in silence, some shine never seeps out of it's cavular dome, but authors still have freedom, the more the lesser they live. They can write when inspiration comes running, whenever the concept strikes them, they describe only what they chose, they can keep what is important to them, they throw away all irrelevant matter, they can live and support themselves solely by thinking, and by learning how to best convey those thoughts. They can research, if they like, they can read, they can listen, they can paint, they can convey what comes to mind. Through verses, pages, paragraphs, scripts and empty voids, trash bins filled with paper. I know I won't quit writing, not even if it kills me, it all comes eventually, on a siden-ote I wonder why I blog only under dreadfully cloudy visionless skies.

Blood, Guts, Carnage

Heads rolling, limbs flying and blood sprouting like water fountains. I've been running a marathon through the gross last weekend and the start of this week, shockumentaries and horror films humanity has been doomed to forget. I thought I had already seen all the bloodsplatter this mad world had to offer, but now I see how wrong I was! Reviews and Titles for the vast array of terrorous movies follow below, watched this Sunday Tuesday Monday for blood sprayed fun yay. I wonder why humanity holds such a fascination in the bizarre and dreadful, but I suppose it goes back, to the good, old, times. I shall not forget to mention this thread for brining me back into this hybrid genre of death and destruction. ;)


Febuary Finishing

Time just flies away, this month has been rather monotonous, not a day not at the same pace, still my cold passed, ankle sprain, the challenge fast and vast head pain. Amongst:

- GTA 1 (gathered all remaining mods/files/links/patches/videos/tutorials still available online, packed together for easy future usage)
- GTA 2 (gathered all remaining mods/files/links/patches/videos/tutorials still available online, packed together for easy future usage)
- GTA 3 (initiated mastermod, collected group of voice actors to remake all radio station/ingame sound, retextured large parts of the game, it will be called "Liberty")
- GTA London 1961 (gathered all remaining mods/files/links/patches/videos/tutorials still available online, packed together for easy future usage)
- GTA London 1969 (gathered all remaining mods/files/links/patches/videos/tutorials still available online, packed together for easy future usage)
- GTA Advance (played it through, downloaded anything I could find related to it, packed it all together for easy future usage)
- GTA Vice City (initiated mastermod, laid to rest until I get the GTA 3 done, however)
- GTA San Andreas (modded it until my computer couldn't handle any more, future modification will have to wait until I get a new PC)
- GTA Liberty City Stories (my PC can't handle it)
- GTA Vice City Stories (my PC can't handle it)
- GTA 4 (my PC can't handle it)
- GTA Etc (20-30 other mods tested and played through, great stuff, but I don't have the time or enjoyment anymore to go through more of them)
- School Work

Amongst other things. I've been watching movies, reading books, walking around, noticing how all of a sudden I feel much healthier, probably due to the intake of less contaminating artificial substances. The challenge didn't go perfectly though, some foods consumed without knowing about the artificial substances that therein lay, a few frozen vegetables eaten, ate pasta once without thinking while out at a restaurant, and who knows what they put in their food anyway, but it was a nice healthy ray of gray indeed. My craving for candy just about vanished, I don't feel like eating sweets now, not at all, so that's a +1 for something.  I got myself an electric guitar, a boxing bag, a blow gun, have been to some interesting events, reached some visionary online goals, created two large poetry collections in sound only, among other things. Otherwise, nah, fun things have happened, but February is still the dullest month of all years.

Trust In Panic

When nothing seems to work, when nothing seems to go my way, I had better get to work, and do something with my useless day.
Turn it around, spin it in ground, get it to stay, put it on its feet, stash it away, let it portray, let it grow roots, let it hail.
When nothing seems to function, when nothing seems to be on track, then I seem to make assumptions, without taking my senses back.
Grab them back then, into my head again, fill my cranium with wonderful motivation, fill it with hope, fill it with colors, fill it with bright, white, light.
Let the dull grey stumble away under the clouds, and be careful not to voice my accusations out loud, just let the chaos fade, let it go away.
Turn back to front, turn front to back, stops just fencing defensive, go to attack, try the turmoil, taste the array, stay there in touch, let the truck stay.
When nothing seems worth mentioning, when time seems all but frozen, when the world is cold and grey and a puddle looks like an ocean.
Don't melt down into that puddle, muddled by emotion, stay sincere, stay convinced and fill yourself with devotion, towards.
Something that works, something that spins, something that goes, something that wins, something that flows, something that brings.
Hope to this world that the gods seem to forsake, since so long ago.

Just One Of Those Days

When nothing really happens.
When you do a bit of everything but still get nothing done.
When the clouds are grey.
When the sky is covered in clouds.
When the world is coated with sky.
When your head feels a bit heavier than usual.
When the wind blows colder than the day before.
When the scenery is beautiful, but you don't stop to look at it.
When the waves of the ocean are far away.
When you can just sit.
When you can just stare.
When you can travel for miles, but still get nowhere.
When you feel like lighting a candle.
When you feel like just sitting down and thinking.
When you feel like something is missing.
When you should be doing something else.
When you spend time with everyone.
And feel like you need time with yourself.
And feel like you should be social.
And feel like you should achieve.
And feel like you need to believe.
And just stand there.
And wait, maybe.
For the day to end.
So you can finally sleep through the night.
And maybe when you wake up the next morning.
Things will start out like you planned.
And things will happen.
And the sun will shine outside.
And you will want to go outside.
But you will still sit inside.
Working frantically with everything you could have done the day before.
To get a sip of sunshine before the darkness.
Once again settles in.

66 Inspirational Resources

The world is just overflowing with webrelated creativity! Not strange since the Internetal revolution just recently reached it's peak, indecisive, I decided to throw together a list of sites I just recently visited on this topic that I probably won't be visiting again. They are however, mostly, great websites you might find something useful on. Lists like these usually come with 99 items, but my life has had a few ups and downs recently, so don't let the rotated numerical scare you awf. Enjoy!

  1. Arbent
    The art of being creative
  2. 3Fay
    The great tutorials and resources for php, javascript, ajax, dhtml, css, html, mysql, smarty and webdesigns
  3. Free Vectors
    The place to get free vector designs!
  4. Bit Box
    A little bit in a box.
  5. Color Burned
    Professional design resources.
  6. Abduzeedo
    Abducted by design.
  7. Web Designer Depot
    The webdesigner spot.
  8. Just Creative Design
    Graphica and Logo designer in Newcastle, Australia.
  9. Kanaly Design
    Fetch a piece of inspiration!
  10. Fudge Graphics
    For lovers.
  11. Vector Vault
    Your imagination is the combination.
  12. Hypeful
    Music. Culture. Oklahoma city.
  13. The Pixel Pusher
    A website for publishers and student publishers
  14. Vecteezy
    Stupid name. Cool vectors.
  15. Brusheezy
    Stupid name. Cool brushes.
  16. Tutorial Blog
    Helping you live and learn better.
  17. 100 Yen
    It's John Linley's website, isn't it?
  18. Marketing Tech Blog
    New media strategies and other marketing gems!
  19. Vector Portal
    Everything vector, Everything free.
  20. Photoshop Support
    Photoshop tutorials & Photoshop plugins.
  21. This is Star
    Artistic and Inspirational, with no slogan.
  22. Creative World
    Brisbane webdesign.
  23. 6th Republic
    Creative Liberation - Seattle, WA.
  24. Caneidia
    Simple and user friendly website design services.
  25. Activr
    Activated tech nervs.
  26. I am Khayyam
    The (mis)adventures of Khayyam Wakil
  27. CSS Globe
    Welcome to Css Globe, your daily source of css news.
  28. Templatica
    Handmade templates.
  29. Vandelay Designs
    Web design and development blog.
  30. Noupe
    Curiosity for finding New & Better.
  31. Six Revisions
    Web development and design information.
  32. Design Bump
    Popular links.
  33. Design Float
    Webdesign News & Tips.
  34. Design Mag
    Articles & Resources for designers.
  35. We Function
    Function Web Design & Development.
  36. Style Gala
    A publication about Webdesign & Standards.
  37. Design Flavr
    Daily Design & Visual Art Inspiration.
  38. Luxa
    Discover Photoshop.
  39. Design Snack
    The designers showcase that you control.
  40. Pinvoke
    Icons & Pixel fonts.
  41. Envato
    The creative ecosystem.
  42. PSD Tuts
    Spoofed photoshop tutorials.
  43. Audio Tuts
    Spoofed audio skills.
  44. Vector Tuts
    Spoofed vectors.
  45. CSS Tricks
    Title sais all!
  46. Ifoh Designs
    Hot of the Press!
  47. Fuel Your Creativity
    Getting creative.
  48. My Ink Blog
    A resource for all things graphic & webdesign.
  49. Elite By Design
    Webdesign & Photoshop Inspiration.
  50. Janko at Warp Speed
    Helps you build good looking and functional websites.
  51. Design Shard
    Design & Inspiration!
    Real word advice from working artists & designers.
    Drop Dead Designs.
    Spoofed Webskills.
    Great magazine I follow, with freebies and pieces of inspiration.
    Show off your programming skills.
    Easy upload, big files, fast servers.
    The rasturbator, creates gigantic rasters of all kinds of images.
    Imagine. Program. Share.
    A universal design approach to web usability.
    The blog on design and technology.
    Free vector cliparts.
    Design Tips, Freebies & Inspiration.
    Webdesign Resources.
    A different point of view of Design.
    Just 'nother portfolio ...
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Keeping the world since 2004.