Pastelles
poetic scribble by Bob Axell 2009

 

When I was little, my voice didn't reach
It stooped down and hit cold concrete
Reaping skittles, I prayed I could preach
Someday about the sweetness they offer

In my mind, my toy cars were big
The real cars were bigger, the houses were huge
The world was my playground, everything mine
All of the items I knew I could use

I hid in the bushes, I hid in the open
I never believed that I was invisible
But I imagined walls of wood, they rose from leaves
I understood

The pain and agony, I had much myself
I dwelled in the land of orcs and elfs
I never truly believed that they existed
But when I grew up I know I missed it

The land I created, the land I knew
The ones and threes and fours and twos
Everything exiting, everything new
All the things in a different point of view

At times I was shy, but I could walk around naked
At times I would cry, yet my home was sacred
At times I was I, at times someone else
But despite who I was, I was always myself

They couldn't change me, I didn't care
I did what they did and life was so clear
Clear and vacant, just waiting to bear
Me as I grew up, I grew up, there

Now life isn't waiting, now it rain away
And I said "Stop!", I told it to stay
But it wouldn't listen
It was too much like me

When I was little
When I was free