My schedule spiraled out of control yesterday.
It'd probably help if I had a schedule in the first place. That required control.
I have notes. I have a calendar on the wall on which I write down things I need to do, but I don't follow it religiously.
It's not the Bible. It's just a calendar. Like a simile sinner I stray from the teachings of discipline it could ideally provide me with...
Into the murky depths of reaction videos I go, and I do not return until the day is over, and so today I am on a different path! Today I am publicly distancing myself from this unfortunately (because it makes it addicting) self-validating content that occasionally takes over my day completely.
I've been discovering Boston, and Dire Straits. I've been revisiting Lil Dicky and specific classic tracks I enjoy like Johnny Cash's Hurt, Kansas' Wayward Son, Lynard Skynard's Freebird, The Animal's House of The Rising Sun and Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven.
I've been revisiting them in the eyes of others. In a growing, and mutual appreciation of the art. But it all started with Ronald. The latest Falling in Reverse cinematic, with an unexpected Tech N9ne cameo, that somehow made its way into my feed earlier this week, and blew me away!
I saw Black Pegasus had reacted to it. I wondered how they'd reacted to it; if they'd be prepared for the Tech N9ne cameo in particular, and that was that! That's all it takes. It's like a whiff of second-hand smoke and suddenly you're taking a crack at that nicotine puff puff habit again (which btw I never have - my guilty pleasures and poisons are purely digital).
Spiraling out of control, further down the rabbit hole...
I don't want to waste my time no more though. Not on reactions. Thus this post. Thus I'm laying off the reaction videos for... well, we'll see.
For however long a span of time I can manage before my discipline wavers once more.
Ideally it won't waver. Never and never again.
Speak more later. See more then.
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When it comes to abstaining from things, my discipline is unparalled. It takes energy to do things but 0 energy not to do things.
Not watching reaction videos? Easy. Simply dont type in youtube to the address bar. Theres nothing forcing me to do it and visiting websites isnt something I do involuntarily or instinctually.
Now watching reaction videos regularly or better yet cultivating a good habit, takes effort and consistency and thats where the real difficulty in applying discipline lies.
Now regularly posting Tuesday recaps about busted kneecaps? Thats for the CyberDB admin to apprise
Stay tuned for further exciting happenings or less substantial happenstance in the life and times of this lively ampersand!
Re: discipline that's impressive though.
I type in websites involuntarily at whim while doing other things all too often. As soon as there's resistance in completing whatever I'm doing... new tab.
It's like visiting another site somehow seems synonymous with progress. Like something happens then. Things are moving again. You're enduring new connections. You're construing. You're potentially fetching new inspiration; motivation; momentum; there's potential for a new start and all the fiercer a focus on current tasks thereafter...
Have to muster up a strong will to kill that habit, and so if I'm lethargic or low it's all too easy. Working on it though!
Could it be you simply find what you are doing more rewarding than whatever potential distractions you're not pursuing? It's fascinating to me that focus can be that inherent... very useful.