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Return Of The Killer Tomatoes! (1988)

I watched Attack of the Killer Tomatoes a long time ago, I think (I mean, I remember watching it but I'm not sure when) and it sucked. It really wasn't very good. The whole thing about big tomatoes rolling all over the place just seemed a bit unrealistic. In this one that problem has been analyzed and solved, and now the tomatoes are (by the villainous professor yet again) transformed into humans! There's this one tomato in particular, Tracy, who's been made to act as the professors lover, cook and housekeeper, who's somewhat different from the rest.

She meets the hero in this story one day (the hero works at a pizza place btw) and soon decides to escape the professors evil clutches when he throws away a failed tomato specimen (who she calls Fuzzy Tomates, holds him/it to her bosom, and then exclaims "I got it! I'll call you FT!"). Since this pizza guy is the only person she's ever met she decidee to pay him a visit, runs to his house in the pouring rain and asks him (as he's making a gummibear/peanut butter/strawberry pizza) if he'd like to have sex with her. We never really get that scene, unfortunately, but it was around this time that I realized... if not earlier.... that this might actually be a pretty good sequel.

Actually I think I realized this was going to be a ton of fun already during the intro scene where a fake scene from 'Big Breasted Tomatoes Go To The Beach & Take Their Tops Off'... or something like that, plays. And that was before George Clooney appears. Maybe now's the time to throw in a few memorable moments from the movie. Here you go:

Not Real :(

This is how it all begins...

Life's A Beach!

And this is where it all ends!

That's eh... PIZZA

And this is where it really begins, with a futuristic pizza from a parallel world were tomatoes were banned and sold only on the black market. Ever wondered what a pizza would look like without tomato? Well now you know... delicious huh.

Aaaa

The hero in this tale.

Pizza!!

The box of pizza in this tale.

A Normal Girl!

The Tomato Woman! Tracy.

Complete Not Odd Dudes

Completely normal dudes.

Tomatoe Eyes

Special effects of the eighties. I mean, what a beautiful eye!

Fuzzy Tomatoe Man

Fuzzy Tomates being interviewed by a mob of happy fans.

Tomatoe Army

Tomato soldiers!

A Message

Most cops go underground, this one went underwater.

It's Your Call...

Uhuh, yeah, he's on it. *click*

Fuzzy Mood

Is that... Tracy? Or is it just a tomato?

WARNING!

As you see, the final showdown takes place in a completely safe and sanitized area.

Product Placement

In the middle of the movie the budget collapses, so they add some product placement! Here's on of... more.

Fuzz

???

Toast!

Tomatoes love toast, apparently.

...

Black market.

Detention Area

Back to school.

It's A Rampage

A flashback from the previous great Tomato war.

The End

The end. Oh, and how about some memorable quotes as well?

They are gardeners, carpenters. Not Tomato men.

Emotions are for people, not for vegetables

(while making pizza) I wonder what they tasted like with tomato sauce...

I should mention that tomatoes have been deemed illegal since the first Tomato war (see Attack of the Killer Tomatoes), and when it's revealed Tracy is really a tomato it stirs a bit of unreasonable panic. Around the same time the movie runs out of budget and has to resort to some drastic product placement, but it doesn't last very long. Apparently product placement is a lucrative business.

In an age of dull movies, yes, even comedies, this was as refreshing as a pitcher of lemonade after a hard days beaching on a steamy summer day. Or something like that. They just have no boundaries! Anything can happen! It's the 80s, so what would you expect? A lot of bodybuilders posing as Tomato men, Clooney basically playing himself, a mad professor, Igor the henchman who really wants to be a reporter, and eh... well there's more. Maybe the final action sequence was a little too exaggerated for my taste buds, but all in all this was a feel-good comedy with a well-portioned portion of craze and well-ploted comedy. I know it's a B-movie, but it's intentional! Here goes, a mighty...

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Not expecting that, huh? ;) Just give it a watch. Maybe you'll be as surprised as I will. But maybe you won't because you read this and thought it would be even more friggin awesome. ;)

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