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Rise Of The Zombies (2012)

Rise Of The Zombies (2012)

A zombie movie with Danny Trejo too?! Hell yeah!

He keeps it gritty a while, and Alcatraz seemed like a suitable HQ, though the rest of the movie...

Crappy special effects. Ditto acting. Messy plot.

The blood's realistic, most of the time. It's interesting to see the My Name Is Earl sidekick and that one guy from Fast & Furious in a zombie movie too, and they bring in some disturbing (albeit not new) themes like the infected baby but... unfortunately there's little redeeming quality in the end.

Didn't think it was possible to make a bad zombie movie.

Always a first.

 rated 1.5/5: almost decent


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  1. S3C
    Sunday Jan/10/2021

    1.5/5 is almost decent? lol...

  2. Cyber
    Sunday Jan/10/2021

    1.5/5 is almost 2/5 which is IMO decent.

  3. S3C
    Sunday Jan/10/2021

    seems kinda's how my rankings would be

    1: sh!t sh!t sh!t
    2: hot garbage
    3: decent/okay
    4: fo shizzle
    5: friggin' amazing

  4. Cyber
    Sunday Jan/10/2021

    Hmm, kinda sudden jump between okay and fo shizzle though don't you think? No middle ground? To me decent would be more so 'acceptable'. A step short of 'good'. 'Fo shizzle' however more so = great/awesome. One step short of 'amazing with further enhancing attributes required cause it really blew my mind/greatly exceeded my expectations/taught me something I didn't expect to learn/fundamentally altered my perspectives or perception of the world/brought forth emotions I didn't believe I had!!!

    Or to put it this way: three is something I'm neutrally happy with, 4 something I'm overly happy with, 2 something I'm moderately happy with, 5 something I'm happy beyond good form of expression with, and 1 the only one where I'm not at all happy, but rather entirely disappointed. Disillusioned. Unmoved. Unable to find much more than maybe a crumb of enjoyment in. No redeeming qualities, and/or qualities that are so negative they overtake any good qualities said movie might've had to the point it felt like a waste of time.

    I believe it's a pretty fair split myself, though: seems you'd be more of a legit critic with this shiznit. ;)

    Somewhat relevant (Fun? Maybe more so enjoyable? Appreciable? Memory-inducing? Nostalgic?) facts:

    1. This is the sixth review comment you use 'hot garbage' in.
    2. This is the third set of rankings you've posted here.
    3. I really thought you'd posted your own take on the ratings already but it seems I may be mistaken! Deja vu though...

  5. S3C
    Monday Jan/11/2021

    Fair points there. I suppose my ratings system is unbalanced too. I guess my reasoning is anything that gets less than half the points, is not good. Decent is a slightly positive word.

    Fun, enjoable, appreciable, memory-inducing, nostalgic: all of those.

    1. I know I've used it several times before. Is that off memory or did you do a search?

    2. I believe I have posted a set of rankings before- source? I only remember doing it once

    Here's my rankings, atm

    1: Incomplete/Unredeemable. Only 1 movie to date I have watched has garnenerd this score- 50 shades of Gray. I have voiced my feelings about this before either here or on NewGrounds.

    2: Hot Garbage. Simply a bad movie, don't recommend watching.

    3: Decent. An okay film, (slightly better than) average and I won't discourage watching, especially if you've got time to kill. but you won't miss much.

    4: Must Watch: speaks for itself. May have some flaws that only minimally detracts from the experience. Or it may have no flaws, but overall isn't mind blowing.

    5: Classic: Perfect or has flaws that can be overall disregarded. Sparks much thought, research, and discussion.

    3. I believe I have at some point. I certainly must have offered some opinion on the ratings, more or less. But this was prior to your new system with the decimal scores I think?

  6. Cyber
    Monday Jan/11/2021

    Mmm, that makes sense too. Though I just elaborated on the scores intentionally going somewhat equally good/bad towards both side of the scale, I think I really see anything above 0 as a slight positive. There is that rating too, just as there is a 6 for my current all-time favorite. So even 1 holds SOME value. I can acknowledge potential merit, I just don't get anything from it personally. It feels like a steady climb with each incremental rating after that, to respectable perfection and beyond!

    Decent is slightly positive indeed.

    Ah if all do apply then:

    1. My memory's probably somewhere around 1.5 by my standards. :) Fortunately easy to search via admin. If you're curious which those other five were: - movie-related comment on non-movie-related post

    2. Not both movie-related here but:

    3. It might be yes, decimal scores still pretty new after all. If you remember any prior keywords you might've posted for those I could give 'em a search. Tried only the ones you used here/off the top of the dome ones. No luck thus far.

    New atm rankings:

    Ayupp! Here be that comment, if we didn't speak on those shades elsewhere as well:

    Don't think I did add it to my watchlist!

    With elaboration/re-calibration these sound pretty fair too. You'd probably (and indeed you have) rated some of my fives more so fours and some lower ones slightly lower scores, though since you only have one movie that truly meets the lowest bar so far I do wonder how you'd rate titles like:

    Maybe certain redeeming qualities after all in the seemingly least redeemable films by potentially somewhat higher low-tier S3C standards? Or do you maybe simply never watch a movie you expect might not be good?

  7. Cyber
    Monday Jan/11/2021

    Irrelevant potentially somewhat fun fact: my own comment just now apparently had enough links that it had to get manually approved before it could appear here. XD No firewall exceptions with this hmm...

  8. S3C
    Monday Jan/11/2021

    good history...thanks for digging that up

    that's certainly a more positive voting system that I could get behind. Why bother focus on deductions when you can quantify the good points in a film? While in my rating system above 4 is the 'neutral' score, 'extra credit' for going above and beyond with the rest being points for the cast & crew to lose.

    So there is a legendary Cyberdevillian 0 bomb?? It's not mentioned here:

    how could I fail a movie with the title 'Antfarm Dickhole'? Even if the production and acting is horrible, no, hot garbage- the premise alone is memable, and whatever campiness and shock value it brings is the charm, and the watch not entirely regrettable. Kind of like those pure ridiculous sharknado movies. Green Inferno was equal parts bad acting and plot, but damn was it gruesome. The Room was terrible to a point, that it was in fact laughable and a ironic comedy in its own right. For this reason, I could never score a comedy 1/5. 5/5 seems near impossible when this is primary genre.

    Movies (or singular, since this is the only movie I've watched that fits this bill) like 50 shades to gray is not a comedy, nor does it have any shock value, or campiness. Nothing appreciable for me. (It goes a little further than most movies do with sexual content- and maybe if my brain hasn't been corrupted with porn consumption I could consider this as shock value) Hence my 1/5: incomplete, severally lacking value. Nothing redeemable- maybe my current criteria and past comments are too harsh- I guess you could say the production is decent and the music acceptable albeit not memorable for an Elfman score. But I genuinely regret giving ~2 hours of my life to this.

    True- I generally do not watch a film I expect I won't like, thus my scores could use some normalization/calibration. I also won't deny my personal bias is a factor. I knew 50SoG got bad reviews, I suppose the lewdness of it was what enticed a watch at the time.

    hehe...Are You Sure You're Not A SpamBot?

  9. Cyber
    Monday Jan/11/2021

    Sure thing. Nostalgia. Y'know the drill. Gotta dig it.

    Mmm, nothing to lose but all to gain if it's that kind of incremental too. Though cast and crew set aside there's also the matter of what just really resonates with you, merits or no, maybe most notable in how even B-movies can sometimes get nigh top scores just because the creative element values outweigh production or even acting. I feel like I get a slight indifference for perfection when I watch too many good movies in a row. That originality's maybe the biggest weigh-in long-term. But maybe not, maybe everything's really subpar with even good movies at such points, it's just the movie equivalent of autotune: visual perfection to the point it lacks personality. Think that's my main pet peeve in regard to CGI too. Even if they get it right it's too good. You don't get realistic quirks. lens flare. Visual artifacts. Those flaws you'd generally try to avoid that somehow make it feel real.

    Where was I going with this hmm, possibly nowhere... regarding the rating system though it seems the justification as to the fairness/correctness of the current one keeps getting better! XD Good to see it probably won't be requiring any drastic revisions.

    Thus far though that bomb hasn't ever been used. :) It lies dormant in the code for a probably foreseeable future. But the FAQ's definitely a bit out of date too, need to go through some day.

    Ah I wasn't expecting such astute and provocative observations on this one! XD '5/5 seems near impossible when this is primary genre' though, applicable to comedy as a whole since it in part almost always implies a detriment as to the professionality thereof on some layer, or aforementioned title in particular/titles like this in particular...?

    Elfman huh, didn't recognize that name but man have I seen a LOT of the movies he's made a score for. :O Most common composer in the movies I've reviewed thus far: very probable. Alas, the things we do waste our time on... in the end though I wonder if we don't spend as much on superficial dues on a daily basis. Well I should speak for myself. I definitely feel like I do. Still much to master in regards to the ideal balance between using time wisely and not thinking so much about how wisely you use said time as to actually appreciate the ways you do spend said time without feeling a need to use all that time the best possible way. Wish I'd be able to watch anything and never feel like it was time wasted, for one. Would make ample pastimes so much more appreciative; maybe truly meditative too.

    In regards 50 Shades I suppose I probably would enjoy bits of it at least. Corrupted by all kinds of Internet content or no, I feel like it's still pretty easy for me to at least find redeeming merit on the simple means of sexual appeal. In big-budget movies the quality thereof often seems to be another level entirely too. Unless they metaphorically autotune it.

    Was wondering as I typed that if maybe I occasionally watch movies I pretty much know will be pretty much pretty crappy as to somewhat reset my standards/expectations. :) Probably not though. I just still seem to occasionally fall for the lure of crazy titles and/or covers and/or just potentially criminally underrated B-movies going by reviews though I feel I might personally find great enjoyment in them since we all know critics often seem hellabent on just seeing the worst in everything! But with some of these movies: they see things pretty fairly after all. Ey, same then. In regards to lewdness though the exploitational seventies really had a lot to offer in that regard! Want to catch up on more of that era too. Everything just seemed so refreshingly natural and free and I guess sometimes intentionally hippyish and edgy to a fault. But: do like a lot of those movies. Though hmm. Stereotypes didn't always age well. Some though.

    Sometimes I wonder. :P

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