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Spring Post

It's like a door post but with more bounce, you know?

Seriously though: it's spring, and I really feel like writing a bit about what I've been up to the past few months. It's been too long.

Apart from a series of short chronicles written on the commuter train, dreams, music (almost like 420 but backwards lol idk y datsun funny), quotes, rants, and other really short or irrelevant posts (that's just the tip of the iceberg on the irrelevant), I basically have nothing to show for my life from the last... two months!? What a way to chauffeur my life huh.

Last time I wrote something I was kinda depressed, but now... better, right? The sun's shining, the warmth is spreading, and it feels like good things are on the way - even if time still flies like a seagull and sometimes it just seems hopeless to keep up. And I don't like sea gulls.

I haven't relapsed any more into Trackmania since I wrote that aforementioned post, but I have been going steady with those other two sites (I won't link to them this time, as a step to recovery) - even if they rarely have anything of interest these days. Other sites on my weekly reading list are TF and the Backblaze Blog, the latter of which I've been plotting to post a post about for... a few months now? Time. Damnit.

The Lost in Vegas impressions were just a phase at least, and since Montreality started pumping out new interviews at a steady pace again I've been seeing/hearing less of the NoJumper ones. I wish they'd ask their questions in audio form though so I could have them in the background like podcasts - as I can with NoJumper. Sometimes the artists repeat the questions before they answer them, which helps, but usually they don't, and often the question isn't entirely obvious from their answer.

I've also moved from King Los to Merkules - backtracking through both music videos and albums, and pondered taking a train trip to Borlänge when I discovered he was actually doing a concert in Sweden this month! But I thought about it some more and... skipped that. My fascination's fading a bit, though he's definitely a great artist. If you feel like watching a hundred of his music videos I just posted a dose! And yes I have watched them all. Might be why I feel like it's enough. For now.

My ambition still doesn't feel quite up at the surface right now, but it goes in waves. I haven't checked back on my resolutions since I wrote that last life-chronicling post either. Maybe if I posted more often the posts I posted wouldn't be so gargantuan ones and take so long to type up that it often feels like I don't have the time to do so... it's a recurring theme that one. Lack of time. Always on my mind. Clock it ticks. Stop up think. Wonder where I'll be... in another thirty years. Will y'all remember me, or just sleep deep and dream free? Will I put out work to show all that I'm way more than this lil peep; that I'm the dream steal. Beats me.

It's spring though. Finally. Last week I caught the traditional cold (I checked my calender - last year it was May, and the year before that March), and it lingered for just about a week. On Wednesday I was back to work, and Thursday it was (I decided) officially gone. I caught it the Thursday previous, and had to work on Friday since my boss was on vacation and we were expecting a delivery - which I don't think really shortened the recovery time. I wrote about that I think. One of the commuter posts.

I was feeling alright though - proud that I didn't let a puny virus bog me down, strong in mind though weak in body. Come the next day I took a bike ride to the premiere of Plantagen in Bro too - against my better judgment, and that night my nephew stopped by for a night, after attending the Stockholm Film Festival where we hope he'll win a prize.

We played games and tried some Fanta Mezzo (it tasted just like Coke - disappointing) and I think that's when my immune system finally gave up and the cold got caught. Followed him to the train on Sunday, but after that it was time for a couple of days at home; taking it easy; catching up by the computer when possible, and soaking in the occasional sunshine on the front porch at suitable intervals.

I was plotting to post about the first ice cream I ate this summer/year too, which was... the 22nd of March. I remember since it was the same day I went to my early-year health check-up (which is much better now - but more on that later), and had to break a 500 SEK bill, and so decided to buy an ice cream cone for change. That was how it all begun.

This Friday I had seven - though not all cones! A cousin and I took a hundred year old boat on a trip out of Waxholm (the archipelago's proud inofficial capital), and strolled around the island seeing the sights and taking advantage off Pressbyrån's early spring ice cream rebates (half price on everything). Suddenly I'm almost all caught up with this year's new flavors. With the main brand, at least. A few more do await this summer.

It was a nice trip too, albeit with pretty long travel time there and back. Over an hour each. Cruising the waves though... in moderate doses it really is pretty nice! We managed to time in the warmest day of the month - at most 24C in the shade, so it was just perfect.

The weekend's been equally warm, albeit with the sun drifting behind slow clouds, and the coming week's claimed to become cooler again. I'm happy I really took advantage of the warmth that was. Hopefully I didn't get burnt. Most of that island day was spent walking on the shadowy side of the road; hiding my reddening face under a badly shielding cap and expired sun scream. My tan just takes way too long to tone in properly. I get red too easy. Or more like: bright pink and flush.

So this weekend's been great, and the two months leading up to it... mostly. I've been spending a lot of time on NG, and maybe that shows in my (lack of) activity here.

I've been getting stuck more and more on revising reviews too, where I write them fast, and post them, and then check back the next day in search of errors, and find a few, and edit those, and find some more, and find some things I could have formulated better, and leave them for a while, and move on to the next, and then check back the next day and start skimming from the top again... and find more!

It's annoying! I write a review best right after I've watched a movie, and I'm most impervious to post-writing perfectionism when I'm on a roll with my writing too, so I know that the best time to write a post is right after the movie - and the best time to revise is right after I post it.

For some reason both posts and revisions end up getting delayed though, and everything's pushed back further and further. The pressure amounts, the cycle commences, and here we go again. That inane rollercoaster of... I don't know what. Self-improvement? Loathing? Doubt? And then I get distracted and open up my Gmail or NG and all begins anew.

No more, I say! Though I've said that before. I know. Sometimes you just need to affirm your goals though, and resolutions, and get a grip again.

I've been looking at way too many music videos too, and posting collective posts with them when I do. Somehow the occasional clips I wanted to share turned into an obsession of posting everything I watch - or at least everything music-related.

I've had some plans on turning that around. I've had thoughts of abandoning those posts too. I still haven't really decided, but in musical news: Gröna Lund is opening early next month, and with it concerts! For the third year in a row I hope to be going to as many as I can, and there are some awesome artists on the line-up this year, most notably The Offspring. OH HELL YEAH.

There's a bunch more, but I think I'll do like I usually do and post about them when I see them. No concert is guaranteed, but there are a few I really don't want to miss (like Timbuktu, Thåström, Marilyn Manson, Hollywood Vampires, Queens of the Stone Age, Europe... and did I mention
The Offspring?!). OH HELL YEAH.

Actually there's a few more I'm hyped about, but when I start considering who I'm most hyped about they start to blend together.

Both the first and last concert of the season are on my list too. Hopefully the crowd's not too dense then. Hopefully it's cold or rainy... or just cold. Or better yet just not so huge a crowd that I can't get in, but huge enough that you really get into your zone and vibe out with the music! And so the bands enjoy the audience as much as we them, and catch some of their warmth.

However it turns out though it's going to be awesome.

Speaking of awesome: we also had our Vernal Equinox AKA Spring Equinox... a month ago. March 20. This is the day when each side of the Earth receives an equal share of sun, and after that comes the time when this side starts getting all the more - until Midsummer comes and the sunshine shares get flipped around again. Which is just a couple months off, so best enjoy these short-lived days of life and light to the fullest!

In other life news I've been on four hella expensive Osteopath visits in an attempt to fix my back, neck, and all that is related (like the lack of dopamine in my brain). It definitely feels better now, but all the advice I received on how to best maintain a correct posture and keep my back alright after the visits felt incredibly vague, always along the lines of: however feels good for you and it's highly personal!

I know the therapy worked, because I do feel better, the dopamine levels on the health check-up mentioned earlier checked out, and I've had less headaches than I've had in years, but I want to keep it this way too. For a moment I thought the headaches might be gone entirely, but alas, one particularly stressful week they came back with a vengeance.

If it didn't cost so much I could definitely use some osteopathy more often - only in close conjunction do the visits really do the most good - as muscle memory easily kicks in and brings you back to your bad habits, but as it is this is it. My back's alright now, and I'll get back alright - to life and all nice things that crack my smiles.

A good lifestyle is more important than any number of appointments though, so I'ma try to keep my back straight and polish up my habits, one at a time. Better diet? Check. More exercise? Check (I took a run yesterday to make up for all that ice cream for starters). Better posture? Working on it. Irregular blogging? Check. Excellence is a habit, as they say.

There's also been a... few deals/restaurant visits? I honestly don't remember if there's been any since the last post, but I know I've eaten at a couple places this year at least, and the latest one was awesome.

Fusion Sthlm. Highly recommended. The food wasn't just great, but the portion generous, and the service too. The prices weren't unreasonable either considering the meal.

Searching the blog I see I haven't mentioned Espressobaren, Cyclo Deli, Noodle Mama or Akoya Sushi either! They're not recent, but they were great too.

It hasn't been quite as culinary a new start to the year as I'd planned (with an exception for that recently rich ice cream tasting session), but I think I'll appreciate getting back to it more come autumn, when that winter hunger sets in again...

Otherwise there's been some more taste testing sessions, a lot of movies (at the movies), my first jogging attempt for the year just before I caught that cold, a few more walks, my first voice acting role - if it turned out alright (it's for a short animation TBA), one art contest entry... and that's about all I have to show for my artistic endeavors since last.

You can see the art via NG (sidebar - to your right - a little lower down - or higher up if you're reading this on a page where this post is at the bottom), and that other one might be coming soon! Small contributions, yet exciting times nevertheless. An old collab that was abandoned three years ago was brought back to life too, so there's that too.

I've taken a break from writing a hundred words each day the past couple of months in an attempt to get more time for things like the above, but now it's a daily haiku instead, and the 750 one runs on automatic (so automatic I even received a notice I'd renewed my optional subscription though I was planning to just have it on for a month - it's turned off now)... and work. But as long as you can take half a Friday off for a long cruise through the dazzling blue Stockholm archipelago, and have a Sunday hour to spare writing a gigantic seasonal catch-up post like this it can't be all that bad, can it? I won't revise this one so roughly either, just write my mind. So pardon the block of text.

Hopefully more creative updates will be on route soon. Until then: I'll keep posting music, dreams, and probably plenty of irrelevant stuff. Good day.

On The Pendel

The pendel stopped again. Second time now. Waiting on a train I guess.

An electrical fault between Södra Station and Årstaberg (where I work) is at fault, so we're locked in our vault, with walls made of quartz, in the hall of the war. And then we go again! Through tunnels dark as if scorched by the bark of a force far greater than our creator... I'm sure.

I make it two stations, and take the subway another two to visit a shop looking for cheap Coconut water. They're sold out.

I get back to the station. Delays prevail. I wait to know avail, by gates where folks look cold and frail although here blows no throes of gale. When trains roll on the rail I'll know the role I play. Get on that metal boat with nose-coat paint and flow away, and so the day... like an endless loaf of prose in droves of gray. Like you know my name. Toast! Here we go again.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

Now this is about as close to perfection as it gets. The colors. The angles. The beauty of humans and replicants alike, the transmersion... it almost makes me feel like transhumanism could be the right way after all.

If you've seen the original Blade Runner you'll know what kind of movie this is, and if not: prepare for long moments, brooding music, melancholy and false hope. A world of humans, and beings like humans, and the semblance of a sentience that lies between them... yet all within a world that is as far from its baseline as it can possibly be.

The atmosphere's both dystopian and... serene. A little utopia in a far gone world. I love the ambiance, the ominous soundtrack and the characters.

It is slow, but I like the slowness too as it's something I miss in modern movies - which often set a pace too fast for their own good, and it's also an interesting notion that in the future: life might move slower than it does today. As if progress becomes an old man stopping to catch his breath.

So far this world has seemed to be going the other way entirely, to the point where the future seems like a stressful and chaotic time. Maybe it's not all that bad. Maybe progress is less, not more. Even if the overall dystopia here shines with a greatness.

Not that I imagine this is anything like the real future might be like, transhumanistic future Gods forbid...

The actors are great too. Ryan Gosling, Ana de Armas (who really looks like Penélope Cruz), Sylvia Hoeks, Robin Wright and, nearing the end: Harrison Ford. Replicant he may be, but he does age, and so we add another nod among the infinite contemplations regarding what really makes us human.

And it's an inhumane world. Trees are gone. Rogue replicants farm protein. Statues of old are shown towering through a desert haze, just like neon Joy lingers in the city; giving a good time to the average Joe.

It's the kind of movie that makes you think. Or better yet: dream. Of better times. Of a future dystopia... that has the potential to grow better yet.

See the light at the end of the darkness. See the spark when her back arches. See the twists, and turns, and curves - they swerve, they fight, observe, close calls, old birds, no wings. Cold Earth. Who deserts first?

What starts as a simple search for a baby soon turns into something so grim and ready. I barely remember the old (just as the actual movie this takes place thirty years after the former - though I didn't see it quite that long ago), but I do think this one was a bit heavier. I'm positively surprised.

This seems like one of few sequels that really lives up to the franchise name, and especially in itself: it's something else.

 rated 5/5: friggin awesome

The Preciousness Of Time

Turns out Stephen Hawking was one inspiring dude!

It's a shame I only learned of how he lived, and all the inspiring things he said and did now that he's dead and hid. Good quests forbid.

Though his vision lives on, inspires, and enlightens. It's scary in it's awareness, but don't be wary; don't be frightened. It brings out our curiosity like the world is a box, and we just want to open it's lid.

And space is the frontier - there where air is scarce, and fairies float around their squares like the Aries buried. You're never born without fears, but face them and mind them clear. If you can't climb the stairs at least you grind them with your stares. And don't look at your feet... go elite. Become a star. Go far. That's who he was, and all of us: that's who we are.

Or who we will be, if we like this man can see all the greatness other people miss. Those things concealed that only a will of steal can reveal. I insist. RIP Stephen Hawking. You will sorely be missed.

Red Heat (1988)

Red Heat (1988)

Raw, gritty, old, eighties action! There's nothing quite like it. Everything from the soundtrack to the scenes. From the sights to the fights. From the action to the acting. You gotta love it.

The story is that of a Russian policeman (Arnold Schwarzenegger), who chases down a bad guy (Ed O'Ross) all the way to the US, where he's forced to partner with an American cop (Jim Belushi) and capture (or kill) the bad guys... and what a hunt it becomes. I mean it's not all awesome, but it's gritty; typical of the times. It's both intense and fun to follow.

Prepare for a lot of clashes between Russian and American especially, Arnold's bad accent (that still holds surprisingly well sometimes), a steamy sauna scene with adjoined snow fight, chicken with buses and plenty of red, raw, action.

Laurence Fishburne has a small part too, as a character interestingly named partially after himself.

I keep confusing this movie with Raw Deal, but watching the two of them back to back now hopefully I'll be able to tell them apart in the future. Out of the two this definitely has the better soundtrack, and the bigger eighties action vibe - typical cop/cop and robbers movie as it is - though the plot's not all too simple. It deals with not just the chase after the one deceptive fugitive mastermind but with the opening drug trade between US and the USSR too. Plenty of people seem to be interested.

The script's solid, the humor's rough and reliable, and Arnold and Ed a so good duo you sometimes can't really tell who's the sidekick. Though the humor's always there the intensity won't let you down either. It's gritty. It's the city. It's a pity... they don't make movies like this any more.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

On The Pendel

I'm stuck at Stockholm City again.

No delay today. We're just waiting. Maybe we're early. Maybe there is a little delay after all...

I'm writing because I'm feeling like this trip was pretty useless, just like the last one. Commuting uses? Find new excuses.

I see some people working on the train. Laptops topping their laps. I overhear frivolous conversations about business deals, meetings, new cars - perks of the job. Some sound stressed out. Some unexpectedly chill. Some have trouble finding the right words. Some resort to common slang and repetition, like. Yet some are imperviously fluent; superfluous in the art of conversation. They bring up names and amounts as if they had photographic memory too. Maybe they do. I wonder how they do it.

I could read, or play a game, or do something that seems to serve some semblance of a purpose - I tried all of the above earlier, but lately I'm tired so I just close my eyes instead. Or look through windows and nearby posters. Hone my sight.... way too little.

I've lost sight of how to best use this spare time on the train somehow. Maybe because it became a routine. I just space out instead.

Did you know: 95% of the things we do each day are the same each day? Routines. And don't blame the pay. You scream: for greater gains. Your means: just rain away. You've seen: this great decay. Clouds... lifeless and gray. All fibers in me scream... for ice cream, but I won't sway. Away, grim thoughts, away! Gotta keep the streams at bay.

I'm sitting on the Pendel today.

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