...in my sock drawer? No.
...in my box of nuts and bolts? No.
...in my wasabi paste or frozen surimi? No.
...in my YT video binges, backup obsessions and WWP?
Lately, yes! A lot of WWP. And Alien Shooter now. But more on that later.
I think the fuel for this recent lack of focus has been mainly the sensation of emptiness that comes post wholesome Inktober, when one month of constantly amounting challenge and purpose has passed and time is... once more supposedly plentiful? In theory. It doesn't feel plentiful. My car shizzle's been eating up a fair chunk of time too but apart from that...
I've just been way too distracted by YouTube videos the past week.
I found myself watching more and more again, in what seems to be an endless attempt to get through EVERYTHING. Everything that's ever been uploaded, from all of my favorite content creators, along with random suggestions I pick up along the way.
I have a steady stream of videos in the background, that I for the sake of efficiency only play while I do other things. Yet sometimes you want to see a certain face, or a certain item they're speaking about, or event - like the process of chopping up red onions the Michelin Way, or how horrible the bathroom stalls really are at the visual level at truck stops in China. I do have audio-only videos as well, but even then sometimes you need to switch videos, or pause, or you get distracted anyway.
Background noise is a distraction after all.
Yet, despite this, Inktober is over, and I managed every day! I managed my daily verses, I managed my halflings - as I call them - my daily bonus verses, and I managed my doodles. Uploaded the full batch on Halloween - you can find those on NG there - and here here.
Have some VA lines I've fallen behind on and hope to catch up with real soon, but the daily verses aren't over either! Not until the end of November. They're simpler now, but I'm doing Inkember beyond Inktober. For November before it's over.
Still have last year's Inkember recordings left unposted, gathering dust on my hard drive, not yet edited and ready... maybe I'll get to those soon. Maybe I'll get to the most recent ones first though. And individual tracks, maybe there'll be time for that... mayhaps.
But my time's like crack. It moves too fast. I had a blast but: the time is past. At a pace. One which I cannot control trolley. Keep on appreciate until it's aft...
I got on a cruise last Thursday, with a laptop on my lap, and had some cryotherapy after that. Shall catch up with a wrap-up on that some day without mishaps.
Celebrated my sister's birthday last Sunday too, and also then had a blast. Then towed my car to the repair shop... where the uncertainty and fear stops.
The engine's shot. It's done. White smoke bellows; cylinders hammer... like they all forgot their manners.
There's water in the oil, the oil it leaks, it leaks all over. But as they tow it to the junkyard I somehow keep my composure...
Honestly it just feels freeing that it's over. All amounting problems. All the costs they sober. I lost a bit of moolah, but will save and regain. A car is but a car; this life is but a game... and any longer this car might've driven me insane.
But it was good to know ya. We battled those odds. Time to save for another... valiant SAAB. 9-3. I'm free.