Daniel is gone. Apparently he quit his job as a cop/former taxi driver and now lives the good life in Miami, so they found a French Vin Diesel look-alike instead (Franck Gastambide) - a cop from the big city with an affinity for driving, and due to certain circumstances they take him to Marseilles... where that very personality-rich police force of old is waiting, with a few new additions, and a couple vicious crooks to catch.

It's fun, it's fast, and the hiphop music's blasting, but it's also a bit over the top. And a bit old with the mold. The vomit scene in particular seemed to wash away the class of the old ones, and even though all other elements breath relatability and entertainment it's just not like the old ones anymore. Even if it seems to play by the same formula entirely.

It's not the new guy's fault. It's the story. It's the superficial tone of it all, and the lack of notable drive. It just all seems to follow a road of old, without really contributing anything new to the franchise except for a few faces.

They even steal a Fast & Furious ending for the final scene, and do some clone work on the Bad Boys character chemistry. But it's not enough. Too much cops, too many stupid moments, too little story, too little progress. It's the same old place too. The same old pace. There's really nothing new. Bear with the repetition here because it's a lot like the movie.

If you haven't been previously introduced to this franchise though maybe you won't be as disappointed. It'd stand its own ground well as an above-average cops and robbers comedy with a fair share of driving... it just doesn't match or move past the prequels at all.

 rated 3/5: not bad

January, 2023

Whatever happened to this franchise.

Seemed like Daniel was falling off with the fourth one, and suddenly the focus was all the more with the police, but now the police are a bunch of misfits, and Daniel's been replaced entirely, by the charming but not equally so Sylvain (played by Franck Gastambide).

As has Emilian, as has Petra, as has Lilly.

As has pretty much everyone of importance but Gibert and his trusted sidekick Alain.

To replace Daniel there's Sylvain, and to replace Emilien there's Eddy, and to replace Petra and Lilly there's Sabrina, and Sandy, and initially Sandrine, whom I'm glad received a role more so as roadblock than real romantic counterpart - though as far as the police go she's possibly one of my favorites there. Props Sissi Duparc.

Gibert's rarely seen either, he just attends important events, and shouts used catchphrases or appears incompetent - even after his grand return at the start, and the main characters go to parties that seem like they were intended to somewhat mirror the ones in Fast and Furious.

The amount of girls went up drastically and yet the overall amount of sexiness somehow went down.

I miss Lilly. Petra too.

The bad guy's cars are upgraded, but stereotypically so. The driving's good but not like it used to be. The stunts feel toned down, and though the Taxi's back - the same upgraded version we saw in the fourth movie - it's just not the same with Franck Gastambide in the driver's seat.

Though the intro sequences in earlier movies have always had a quick vomit scene to show for speed (which I always felt was a little unnecessary) this one went way overboard with it. At least the prequels kept it realistic. Not so here. They're just projectile-vomiting everywhere. Bad start.

Moments later there's a literal shitstorm too. And later ass humor. Jackass humor. Fat girl humor. Childish humor, basically, that would seem OK in another movie, but does not at all reflect the soul of this franchise that I so much appreciated prior to this.

It may have been silly sometimes. People may have embarrassed themselves sometimes. But they still did it with a certain level of authority, or class. The cops weren't laughing stock entirely, they just messed things up. They had flaws. These guys are caricatures.

The flashbacks of Daniel and Emilian that played as a legend of times past... that was nice. And Rashid's weapon and weed rooms were a highlight, but no matter how good the new actors are I just really miss Samy Naceri, and the relationship between him and Frédéric Diefenthal, and the relationship between them and everyone else, and the stunts? The driving? The very essence of all the good the Taxi franchise was...?

It's just not here anymore.

Then they end it with a replica of the 2 Fast 2 Furious boat flight, but worse.

We do get to see a lot more of Marseilles. And what a place it is. But the rest of this? Disappointing.

Can't blame the actors, the script's just... not good.

And they killed the cab.

Daniel never even got a scratch on it, and they just crash it straight into a boat... feels a little like a good send-off but way more so just not the right way to go.

At least not when it's not Daniel doing it.

 rated 3/5: not bad