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The Comfort Zone Post

I wrote up a post a few days back that turned out so personal I hesitated to post it.

I didn't post it, actually. I still haven't. And that has me questioning why I do this in the first place. Why do I blog, if not to get out of my comfort zone? Not just to vent, but to explore the lesser known nooks and crannies of my turbulent psyche, and to put some of this potential greatness and/or weakness and/or revelation on paper, for me and for the world?

Be it on a low point or a high one. So that I may grow stronger, and better, and so that I may maybe live forever. If not as myself then at least in a formulated essence of my being that I leave behind.

And humans are complex individuals; not whole without the lows, so neither would my essence be.

This ain't social media. This isn't FB. I'm not trying to put on a fa├žade here and be someone I'm really not. To portray me only in my more positive moments. Being introspective forces you to grow, and getting out of your comfort zone seems essential in being introspective.

Online these days it seems people would rather just hide, and be someone else. Pick up a fake online persona they stay behind, yet can't stand behind, and never reveal their true dreams or intentions to the world.

I don't want to be that way.

All the power to them, but I don't feel powerful in anonymity.

Or maybe that's the wrong word. I do. Maybe I do. Maybe that's just not the kind of power I want to have. A power that takes away my reason for being true to myself, and taking responsibility for my actions. I want to be present, in the world and in myself. I don't feel powerful in falsity.

And I feel the stamp of a true artist is to put out the full you, with flaws and defects and everything. You can't hold back, less you have no authenticity, and no purpose. What is art but a reflection of the self? And if you're too afraid to stand in front of a mirror then what's the point.

Just be a vampire instead.

I guess I should post that post after all...

This post ended up way less introspective than I planned it though.

Or just not long enough. Not lengthily introspective. Think I am out of word. Have other dues right now. Maybe I lost a bit of my drive with that hesitation?

I'll get back to this later. When I'm a better writer. When I can conclude with a little wisdom and vision and keep going on that inner mission, the rich one, all-nighter, not this one...

Aaand I posted that post, a little belated. And this one too.

Fuck you comfort.

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