Three Reviews 6

Reviews for a few movies I watched years ago :P

Coronado (2003)

If you like to see great movie plots destroyed, then I highly recommend this one. It is by far the best example you'll ever find. The special effects are good, probably had a lot of money spent on them - but the actors suck, the filming sucks, everything suck. Plot is about a revolution, and it would probably have been great if a more competent Director had taken care of the idea, like Tarantino, maybe. I watched this movie a few years ago, and since it was so crappy I supposed that most people wouldn't know anything about it. Now, a few years later I see a review in an old movie magazine, and they actually thought it was good. I don't know what they were thinking. I don't recommend this.

 rated 1/5: shit shit shit

Merchants Of Death (1997)

Action, action and more action. It's a bit too much action even for an action lover like me. The movie is filled with explosions, people flying across the screen, unrealistic gunfire and a shallow plot based on revenge. Need I say more? Not to be too harsh though, it's a good action movie, and if you like action you'll like this one too, but don't watch it if you've already seen a dussin movies with exactly the same plot, it gets a bit old. The uniqueness you might be looking for is definitely not here.

 rated 2/5: decent

Hercules In New York (1970)

Arnold Schwarzenegger's legendary first movie! If I spelled his last name wrong, sorry, it's a name that I will probably never learn to spell. About the movie itself is utter crap. The plot is an interesting one, Hercules (the character Arnold plays) takes a trip to New York in order to have a look around. He doesn't blend in very well and starts the visit chaotically by turning over a taxi, among other small displays of strength.

It would be a good movie if it wasn't for the fact that you don't understand half of what Arnold's saying, he can't act at all, and the movie is slow, so slow. The action isn't very dramatic, there isn't any real emotion in the various events that take place, and it's old. The colors are dull and the filming angles aren't very unique. If you're a big Arnold fan, watch it anyway, unless you don't want to be disappointed.

The reason Arnold is in this movie at all is definitely because of his incredibly muscular mass, which does fit in nicely with him being Hercules and all, but with a different main character it would probably have looked much more professional. I don't recommend this movie, in best case scenarios you'll fall asleep and not have to watch through it.

 rated 3/5: not bad