Week 52, 2017

I've written some worthless verses this year, yeah I'll admit it.
Wishing I wasn't here just chilling by the Pacific.
Maybe my search for purpose will fare well in a bit
Till it's farewell to these vicious despair-filled trips of pittance
And all my nervous disturbance will clear, and I'll be virtuous!
Feels it's been this way for years, and I'm still hurting
From self-inflicted diversions, hiding behind these curtains
Abiding time like detergent whilst sniding rhyme and rehearsing
So I can climb out my perch and emerge in the world like a person!

I'm not seeing it first person... just First Person Shooter.
Give me a teacher cruel world, I need a tutor!
To guide me through these ruthless gurney's with temptations and computers
And I started working too: because a servant and commuter.
I'm looking up! But I'm not seeing a future brightly,
But if I'm up all night I'll see the light see?
Honestly 2017 wasn't so dark it was more like a pipe dream,
Like I was in need of a spark and it never came to me lightly.
I sleep in the dark tightly with a mighty heart,
But I don't dream I just feel burdened by too many paths that are permanent.
No matter how many sermons I go to I never learn the turns of it,
Don't know on which to embark, like I'm not confident in my art,
Yet always confide in this form, through timeless nights kept me warm.
So what kind of storm should I start? 2017 parts, and a new year is waiting in scorn.
I feel like my project's reborn! Finally Eye to eye I see.

But it's too late now. A new one will be the same.
Should I keep doing chores and wait round? Who am I to blame?
Just tending till I'm spent when I get that I need some kind of change now, to be truant in my aim?
To rage out of my playground and choose to boost my game!
Till my building blocks are great sound -
My little dogs are gray hounds -
This little Bob's the man.

Out of his cage now. Ready to rule and reign?
Am I ready? Have I got the red ink in my veins?
The steady edge and brain? Bet I'll make a change?
It's now or nevvy. I guess I'm saying: Project 2017's been great.
But now it's time for some new game, I'm training to throw off this plate!
If it feels heavy though, you know it's worth the weight.