Spy shit. Professional but gloomy-like. Mysterious. They reveal things one thing at a time. The IMDB movie description feels as vague as the movie: Follows Nicolas Shaw, a retired U.S. special operative who becomes part of an elite "invisible" team that quietly takes out the worst villains around the world.

It's got some refreshing bits, like the snow, like the countryside, like thoroughly professional action sequences when they do occur, but as it turns out it's just not one of those movies you'll remember.

I honestly had to skim through the movie once more - two days after watching - to remember what I was reviewing.

It comes back to me now, though. Small moments of surprising genius or clean-cut mercilessness. And stupid details, like the main character shooting two holes in the water basin after the torture session - like it wouldn't be both quicker and more practical (he might need that basin again) to just loosen the rope?

I don't know if me forgetting this movie so quick is a testament to the movie not being that memorable or just to my memory - at least currently - being terrible, but it does feel like a movie that won't stick. The greenhouse scene might. Overall though? Don't think so.

It feels both surprisingly professional and surprisingly not. Messy in an oddly clean-cut way.

They could've scripted it a bit better, and concluded a bit better too.

 rated 3/5: not bad

If you want to make a movie in English, then speak English so that English speaking people specifically can understand it.

Other than that I have no complaints here, except for maybe about how dark this movie was. Goddamn. No hope. Death. One after the other.

Feels a little overly politicized and talkative sometimes too, but the action scenes (and they make up most of the movie) shine in a creative and high-tech sometimes-first-person Hardcore Henry kind of way.

A little more polish; a little more natural language, and I feel this would've been one serious movie. It's all out war. Brimstone and inferno or whatever they call that. So intense when it is, but it isn't always, and unfortunately I didn't understand the Korean here, nor all of the English - and some conversations were very drawn out.

It's refreshingly different otherwise. High-tech and ferocious. Wish I could've given it at least a four.

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

Following in the footsteps of Conan The Barbarian, here's another movie of the old world. Of love, and war, and the mythical realm that came before the current one where science seems to have killed our magic.

It may not be as flawless as Conan was - the threat levels never feel even remotely on par either - but the atmosphere does, and that's the good part. The mystery's there. The darkness and theatrics and closeness to the elements. Wind and water and wonder.

There's a little witchcraft, a little shadow and mirror magic (could the mirror room in the second Conan movie have been inspired by this one scene?!), and how often do you see an actual bear cub in a movie too? So cute, but oh so deadly.

Also don't miss the shield of Mordor. The shield that 'wards of death'. That sounds familiar doesn't it.

There are snakes, spiders, witchery and woman to their breadth too.

The budget level may not be on par with the movie it was (probably) inspired by, but they still managed to make it all better than I expected.

Shame about Roma though. And imagine if Conan had been the main character here too, his expressiveness just might've upped it all just enough to make this as much a cult classic as the other...

 rated 3/5: not bad

It's like the Godfather of hospitals this one. A story of malpractice that builds slowly. The doctor seems so charismatic at first. It doesn't feel like there's really anything bad at play, but as it progresses you start to doubt...

I thought this'd be an exploitation movie, but it's nothing like that. It's an education movie. As close as you'll get to a big pharma revelation of the seventies, with pompous sound as the credits roll, and a fascinating glimpse into the hospitals, interiors and people of the time - fascinating timely details like the bus with the exhaust pipe on the roof too, but entertainment-wise... it is a little lengthy and a little too talkative, without all the momentum you might've hoped for at the end.

Good though. An intriguing and scary glimpse into another time, and a place you'd rather relate to goodwill only, but in certain circles... I'm sure it's still not all that different today.

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

The bodyguard Michael Bryce continues his friendship with assassin Darius Kincaid as they try to save Darius' wife Sonia.

Do they really call this a friendship though?! The level of suffering that Ryan Reynolds continually goes through, the amount of blunt trauma he withstands - at times seemingly turned into a human rag doll, the way he turns this pain and agony into a comedic element... it's pretty crazy.

I don't remember the first one being all as catastrophic on his behalf, but maybe it was. It definitely makes for an unconventional main character duo at least - or here more so trio - and gives you a strange blend of both feeling his pain and helplessly laughing at it. Just like Kincaid does. But it's not with ill intent on my part. That's just his character.

And Salma Hayek as Sonia is maybe the wildest Salma Hayek I've ever seen! I love it. I love the mimicry. Both between her and him and between her and her man, and between all three of them, and between them and everyone else. It's all a steady stream of mad but radiating molten gold.

The little bit when Ryan's miming about doing coke and Samuel glances his way whilst on the phone: keep an eye peeled for that bit. XD

There's a subtle Aviation Gin product placement bit there too. If you follow Ryan on Youtube you'll probably enjoy it, short though it may be.

And the dream sequences were so good too. So well abridged to the in-movie reality.

Antonio Banderas is there too, and he's great, but somehow his character pales in comparison to the main ones. Though maybe that's intended.

The story may be a little weak (it's a kidnapping, there's a reign of terror potentially impending, stuff like that), but the character relations and interactions are where this shines, and with the all-out action and refreshingly unsheathed gore and violence, and did I mention Morgan Freeman's in it too? Shan't spoil his role!

It's a blast all the way, and I hope for endless sequels. It may have weak points plot-wise and I wish they treated Ryan just a little better than they do, but the filming's masterful; the interactions are masterful.

If you're looking for action comedy with a bit less censor: have at this.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

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Boxing. Japanese style. Abstract Japanese style, maybe I should say?

Like violent. Abstract violence. Violent abstraction.

There's synchronicity in the training room. There's a lot of blue and gray hues, and an office life depicted akin to slavery - which I though the movie would be introducing as a premise to break free of.

But it wasn't that.

There's a girl involved. There's an enemy. There are old ties and strange obsessions of pain and love and loathing and is it a coincidence the sun seems to shine just a little brighter when they meet under the highway with the radishes, just like it does when the fight's over?

Japanese style. Odd but solid. Warrior spirit. Captivating from the start.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome