I'll be brief this year, cause I've got covid don'tchaknow. I'm slow but on the road. Still going like a locomotive, though motives more on hold. More on that loco. Hallucinating of coconuts and clover. That golden summer glow...
I got stuck in all kinds of random conversations leading up to the New Year this year too. Endless PM convos related to random events I've somehow become affiliated with, like the unofficial monthly NSFW content awards over at NG. I feel obligated to engage myself though I don't feel I really have time to fully particulate or follow.
There's been a lot of stuff like that. Maybe something to sort out in my resolutions? We shall see.
This year too I haven't fully revised all posts I'd hoped to before the New Year came ticking either, though I plowed through a large portion today, and I haven't arranged ISRC codes either since this year's mixtape project is at the moment somewhat overdue - not done yet - but it's coming.
I have however not been measly. I have not been slacking in the least see. I have not taken it easy. And I still do have hope for the New Year.
I still want to hone and further my slowly broadening levels of excellence. I want to once more bring up and re-apply that age old mantra of mine - as seems to have become tradition here the last few years - and remind myself of this: Don't wait, but don't haste. Don't hesitate. Don't stall, don't fall, don't all. Don't say "yes" if you stress. Don't do if you are not supposed to. But mostly, a 'can't do' won't do: think instead of what you could do. Be good too.
That's how I want to be. That's what I want to do. That's how I want to lead my days. That all still rings true with and makes sense to me - and is an ongoing endeavor of mindset development and honing.
More concisely though. Goals.
Last year I vowed to...
1. Sort my life out! Meet new people, get to a place I feel happy to be at and spend my time in a way that feels fruitious to me.
Did I? Not really, but I've been making progress on the meeting new people part. I speak to people in public places now. I initiate conversations. I'm rather happy with how my inner introvert's been in training this year, and hopeful that say a soulmate just might be wait...ering tables around the corner somewhere near here. Who knows. Confidence is rising somewhat. If we do cross paths maybe I'd say the right words in passing.
I didn't suffer as much a winter depression as I did last year either, and the darkest day has now gone, so that's positive.
On less positive a note I don't see my future with the company I'm currently employed with too brightly. Days usually feel stressful even though they're part-time, and cut down in number by cause of lacking company finances. But I've stayed more positive on worse odds than I managed to stay with better ones before, so though all's not great circumstantially or environmentally - and definitely not sorted - I feel I'm making notable progress mentally too. It's almost like... I'm growing up, by trials...
Then again if growing up implies coming to terms with days NOT being fruitious and fun then I'm probably on the wrong path still. How can you be content with contempt. Doesn't compute. Maybe I'm just being continually bombarded by common indoctrination intents; my views on what it means to progress are being skewed by means of sociatal norm.
So on a certain level I know I'm on the wrong path. Still. It's great to learn to deal with stress and ardor and psychological turmoil and all, but greater to get to a place where there's none to deal with. Where you are in control over your own anguish, and choose what sacrifices are worthy the cause.
Blissful and integral personal business/soulspace in life here I come.
2. Keep making music.
Hell yeah I did! I feel the yearly Inktober challenges are getting better by the year too - though I definitely still have a ways to go, especially in the production department, but there's more on route. More on that soon/as the New Year unfolds.
Not much more to write in regard to this one. I feel I managed alright. Been relatively consistent. You can hear if you listen. Not totally but appreciably.
Unlike last year both my PM and e-mail inboxes are definitely NOT empty, but I am currently juggling more dues than I think I did at that point, so maybe that's no detriment. Conversations are flowing and ongoing. I just need to close some for time to make the most won. I'll get to the others. The oldest message isn't more than 3-4 years at this point... *screech*
In regard to those private goals from 2016? Checked one more off the list yesterday. :) The big one. Just one more to go, and I think I'm getting there. So let's get back to that in another year. Six years a margin for makings that really matter... that wouldn't be all too bad. Conclusively though...
Three integral goals:
1. Get a stable secondary income, beyond my day job. I don't want to rely on any one thing too much, I'm not super happy with the current job, and I'm not sure it'll be around forever even if I was, so this seems like a good priority. The goal is to find some income stream on the side that might be able to sustain me entirely. Preferably one that requires little effort, or that I'm passionate about to the point it doesn't matter as much if it does.
2. Put out a finished body of audio unrelated to the Inktober verses, be that an album or mixtape. Something I'm proud of that encapsulates my current state of being and energy in sound and somehow furthers me.
3. Buy property or land. Anything goes here, however small! The goal is to get something I can call my own, that I can potentially fall back on if all the more superficial methods of investment some day lose their value.
Three less integral ones:
4. Participate in a demonstration for human rights and democracy. This seems all the more essential with the way the world's turning right now, and something I've been wanting to get into for some time. Activism. Not just saying and writing but actually doing something that can make a difference. May be a catalyst for more.
5. Make my current cellphone subscription free. Which I aim to do by - among other things - advertising this page on Google.
6. Update website infrastructure. This site is currently not entirely up-to-date as far as code standards and languages though, which is starting to pose a certain problem with certain frameworks it relies on, so I hope to do something about that this year.
I'm not all that proficient with code so this may be a real challenge, but hopefully it's possible. I don't want to sacrifice functionality in the process, just futureproof the site in its current and continual entirety.
Finally three ongoing habit-based goals (of which I've been going strong with two for a while now) but want to officially commit to here as well:
7. Cold showers every day, as long as I'm physically and mentally capable thereof. Covid couldn't stop me here and I don't plan to let anything get in my way again. I skipped a day last winter and that turned into months + depression, so I will to stay true to this routine no matter what.
8. Write something every day. Gotta keep verbal aptitude and inspiration alive too at all times! Whatever the form or cause of writing.
9. Get healthy. I'd like to be able to by the end of the year jog at least a Scandinavian mile (10 km), and do ten consecutive pull up's at any time.
In other words the #9 goal is to get in - and stay in - proper shape.
Maintain healthy physical habits and I too will feel healthy, and progress in all aspects of life. As Jocko would say: Stay on the path.
I have a one-month free gym card I plan to put to good use either this February or March, while winter's still in force and outdoor exercise not so easy. After that just have to keep going and never get stagnant/stuck in doors or mind too long.
That's all y'all. Here's to a Brand New Year full of fear and inhibition but also hope. Go challenge yourself. Don't just cope.