Tired of those patriotic American war movies yet? Well I guess I wasn't, because I went back and saw this. It's the typical set up. You've probably seen the same thing earlier in Deerhunter, Bullet in the Head, etc. A chopper crashes, a bunch of Americans are imprisoned (though the nationalities do vary in those other movies), tortured, treated badly, shot up, etc. Then they escape, return and blow the place to bits. In this movie it's mostly Chuck Norris that does all of those things. Though he doesn't play a lead role at the start of the movie, he gains it later on when he really takes control, and through his silence, patience and wit we learn that he's nobody you want to mess with.

Are the explosions made partially of fireworks? Does each punch stay raised in the air for a few seconds and force the punch-taker to either bend over and wince in pain or roll on the floor, wincing in pain? Do you always know what's going to happen when you hear the enemies growl or see that hate burning in Chuck Norris eyes? Does the recorded video sometimes darken unnecessarily due to bad lightning and equipment when filming? The answer to all of those things is yes, but still they don't necessarily mean bad things for the movie. It's not the modern-day Hollywood film; it has an ounce of grindhouse in it, it's like the first Sniper movie before they blew it to hell. It has shooting, brawling, drama, tension, people catching a bullet through their brains in close range, people getting shot up with opium and dying when they thought they were just being cured of their malaria, people being burned alive, etcetc. When I say people it's not really people, it's just one person in each scenario, but it is a pretty brutal movie at times.

The torture may not look brutal, the cages may seem easy to escape from, but there's still something there that makes you tense up or frown or think 'this shit is serious' or... hell, I don't know. It's a tough movie, you get a karate fight right at the end, and I can understand why Chuck Norris has such a rep for being a badass. Need to watch more of the movies he's been in, so far it's been way to few! This one gets a...

 rated 3/5: not bad

Iron Man 2 was shit. When I say that, I'm really only comparing it to the previous movie, the original. Compared to that, this one has nothing new to offer, at all, just the same old same old. Oh sure, there's evil reincarnated and all that, and there are a lot of Iron Men battling each other and stuff, but it just doesn't have the same element of surprise or development as the first one did. Kinda like the sequels to Ice Age. No wait, bad comparison, the Ice Age sequels were better than this. I should mention that it's all filmed very nicely though, and features a set of great actors, and a decent plot. It's not a bad movie, it's just not a good sequel. If you just want action, and some Iron Man, you'll get it.

 rated 3/5: not bad

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You never thought Arnold Schwarzenegger could do comedy? Well think again, cause he can! His crazy exaggeratedly unnatural expressions are just perfect for this genre, or at least they're perfect for this specific movie. See image above for example of an exaggeratedly unnatural expression. Moving on...

I suppose this flick is an ode to our materialistic society, cause for the bigger part of the movie, that seems to be all it's really about. In an alternative world there's one special toy that every one kid just must have, and of course Arnold's (though he has a different name in the film) kid doesn't have this specific toy... and Arnold (actually I think it was something like... Harrald? Herbert? Howard! That's it... still sounds a bit like Arnold) hasn't had time (more like forgotten) to buy it. And so, he sets out on a one day chase (more like rampage) in which another person in the same situation plays a prominent role as both nemesis and partner in crime and eventually it all spirals completely out of control.

It's all a very materialistic movie, but at the same time it's about family values, and it makes you question materialistic traditions too in the way the, eh... plot develops. I suppose I shouldn't spoil it for ya if ya haven't seen it. It's a funny movie, with a moral, with both depressing/dramatic moments and happy/exiting moments and eh... a lot of comedy! It's not the best movie, but it's fun to watch, and it's about Christmas so it's especially fun to watch on Christmas. I actually watched this one with the family for a change (my family being my parents right now + a sister), and it was fun! I shouldn't really be giving this movie an above-average score, but it's Christmas, so...

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Yeah, some leftover screenshots... I'll just be leaving them here, k?

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The Japanese make ET like the American never could. As if an Alien is too boring, they decided to throw in some triads, a lone hitman, a timetravelling kid and a plot that will twist your mind. It's all about saving the alien so that aliens won't attack the world in the future and blow it all to shit, but that's really just a side-story. The main story is avenging a killed buddy, attaining a new buddy, and inspiring people to eat Al Dente (okay maybe not that last part). It's a great movie, even though it feels like they snatched the plot from ET, Terminator and mixed in some special effects from the Matrix to make this plot. But, it's a great movie, a gem. Maybe you haven't seen it yet? You're missing out on some good ol emotional action!

I'm not saying the actors are perfect though. When Milly keeps nodding at the end, or when the main character could have just finished off all the enemies but chose to do some fancy bullet-dodging-maneuvers instead, well, there are inconsistencies, but it doesn't spoil the action! It's the second time I'm watching this over a long span of time, and it was worth the re-watch. It's that kind of movie. Oh look, I'm hyping too much, I'm making this seem like it's fantastic when it's only great. ;D Anyway, before this review spirals out of control I'm just going to leave a quick..

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

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Journey To The Center Of The Earth is a story about a kid and his father, and a great adventure, one that takes them all the way to the center of the world. There's a lot of Jules Verne references here, along with some exiting scenery. There's a lot of traveling and even a little getting somewhere, and did I mention it's not animated? Yeah, it might not really be for my age, but it was a fun watch anyway! It's kinda like the Narnia series in that the character all go through something and end up in a entirely different world, a world that seems fantastic and fictitious and mostly for kids, but that's where the similarities end! Overall, good adventure movie. :)

 rated 3/5: not bad

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