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The World Sauna Championships 2010

Watched a somewhat disturbing mini-documentary yesterday. This may be a somewhat disturbing post too, note! Don't read if you don't want to.

Have you ever heard of the World Sauna Championships? That took place in Finland on a yearly basis up until 2010? Where each year contestants would gather in a small sauna, with a starting temperature of 110°C, where half a liter of water was poured on the stones every thirty seconds, until all but one contestant stumbled out of the room. The last contestant to get out of the room UNAIDED won the championship.

2010 they upped the stakes a bit. The sauna was a bit more extreme than before. Russian Vladimir Ladyzhensky and Finn Timo Kaukonen battled it out to the bitter end... when Timo collapsed, and they were assisted out of the room. The Russian had to be dragged out - he couldn't move - and even after a successful resuscitation he died on the spot. Apparently he had anesthetic cream on his skin, and had taken strong painkillers before the competition, which was not allowed, and maybe also the reason he died.

Timo on the other hand made it out alive, was taken to the hospital with severe burns as layers of skin literally loosened from his body, and he fell into a coma for six weeks. He remembers nothing of the competition. It was a painful recovery, yet even now, with burn marks and scars covering his body, he sits in the sauna daily, and wishes the competitions would start again.

He has no qualms with the arrangers of the event that caused him so much pain. He sees it as an unfortunate event, but he loves the sport, and he's sad that after this tragedy no more competitions take place.

What's somehow even more unfair is that a contestant who both of these two champions outlasted officially won this championship that year - without undergoing any of this suffering - since he was able to leave the sauna on his own earlier. And is thus recorded as the final winner of these championships. Ever. For all he went through Timo deserved that spot IMO.

I wonder, if the Russian hadn't taken those painkillers, would he have left earlier? Would he have lived? Would Timo have gotten out of there without those burns, as well, and been the victor? Would the yearly championship's have continued henceforth? And could they then have kept going without severe injury, or was it inevitable that eventually they'd up the stakes too much; push themselves too far; not know or care for their limitations?

The reason they suffered such severe burns is apparently because the water tank released more water than it was supposed to as well, and essentially boiled the two contestants alive. But to win an extreme sport you need extreme fortitude, so they withstood the pain beyond what's humanly possible; beyond the point of no return. Those pain receptors are there for a reason after all...

It reminds me a bit of that one guy (Francisco Lázaro) who ran an Olympic marathon in the 1910's, and died of a heatstroke since he'd covered his body in wax (suet, more specifically) as sun lotion, and it covered his pores and made it impossible for the body to regulate heat via sweat. He was the first person to die in an Olympic event. Of course it's a different case since his death wasn't by direct cause of the competition, but his use of wax does feel a bit similar to Vladimir's use of anesthetic cream, also in a competition where such a concoction would theoretically improve his performance and give him a better chance of winning.

He probably wasn't the first one to use wax for such purposes, but maybe the first to die for it. Back before they knew about heat regulation, I suppose. Back before regular sun lotion was a thing. He was too but a victim of unfortunate circumstance, attempting to ride out the limitations of the human body...

I guess the moral of these stories is to trust your body.

Don't cheat. Don't attempt to do something you wouldn't be capable of doing without assistance.

This also made me think of Hisashi Ouchi, a worker involved in creating fuel rods for an experimental plant in Japan, who during a time of inadequate regulations or knowledge of the dangers thereof used a little too high a dose of radioactive chemicals, causing a reaction that exposed him to the highest dose of radiation any human has ever been exposed to thus far - and survived. He was taken to the hospital in a terrible state, and kept on life support for eighty-three days, in excruciating pain, wishing to die, as doctors used him as a case study on the effects of radiation.

^ One of many incidents that has made me very skeptical in regard to the future use and potential benefits of nuclear energy.

In the case of the sauna championships though surely we knew it wasn't a healthy sport from the start.

Whereas that wax was a creative approach to keeping out harmful UV radiation these tournaments were just straight up madness. How many braincells did contestants lose during the years leading up to this tragic finale? Surely there have to be worse consequences to sitting in a 110°C room than your heart-rate going close to 200 BPM and occasional blisters forming on your skin.

The pain's the threshold. The fact that these guys surpassed it, voluntarily, to the point of death and third-degree burns... just feels very disturbing. And watching actual footage from said contest is no less so.

I'm glad I learned more of this legend, because he really was - and is - a remarkably strong-willed man, but at the same time I kind of wish I didn't.

He reached a level of fortitude it seems nobody should have. The will to surpass the body's built in defenses against danger. The mind overpowering it's common cage. Voluntarily subjecting itself to this level of damage.

It's kind of haunting.

Barking Dogs Never Bite (2000)

Barking Dogs Never Bite (2000)

From the director of Parasite... that I've yet to see. Not Parasite: Maxim. The other. Though imagine Maxim winning an Oscar too.

This was an interesting movie.

Dark humor.

it's about a man who's about to become a doctor, who has a falling out with his wife, who's overly annoyed with a dog that's constantly barking somewhere in their apartment complex, and as the movie begins he attempts to kill it... but it turns out he's taken the wrong dog, and that a janitor eats it before he manages to save it.

One thing leads to another and before you know it the right dog is dead. But then his wife gets a dog.

It's nicely filmed. Artsy sometimes. Comedy by absurdity, but not always a kind you can laugh at. The smokescreen scene in particular felt special, and when it's over you're left smiling but... a little bewildered.

What was this all about after all. Acceptance? Anti dog eating culture in Korea? A lesbian couple? That dogs save marriages/doctorates/whatever?

I don't fully understand, but I think it'll leave a mark.

And they tell good stories. Which are signs of a good film. Compelling narrative too. Uncertain but good watch.

I'm definitely watching Parasite too now.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

Sukkubus (1989)

Sukkubus (1989)

A movie from my birth year I hadn't heard of, about a succubus no less? In the flesh? Who would've expected!

It might not be as you expect though. Even though it's the eighties. It's a tale of mountains, shepherds, curses... and a succubi you'd really rather stay clear from, no matter how good she looks.

Stood the test of time this one though. Gripping. Down to Earth.

Different time. Different place. Dipping tales.

And Pamela Prati. Fo rizzle.

 rated 4/5: fo shizzle

The Protege (2021)

The Protege (2021)

Maggie Q! I thought it was Maggie Q, then I thought at first, but then I started thinking it was probably that girl from The Courier for some reason... the same femme fatale action film protégé once again. Olga with the last name I can't memorize. Or hadn't before this, at least. Maybe I will now. But it was Maggie Q after all. You can tell by the budget maybe - this one definitely has a bigger one than Olga's usually do! The filming's solid.

It's a hitman kind of movie, with a dark and broody kind of plot, yet a glimpse of heaven halfway through. A Mr. and Mrs. Smith kind of relationship in the mix. Flashy fireworks kind of action. Old school.

Unfortunately the bunker scene seemed a bit fake. But for the most part... it has class.

I don't know why I don't give this one top score. Felt like I could've. Just... not memorable enough? Am I not in the mood? It sure was atmospheric though. Samuel Jackson never gets old either. Nor Robert Patrick (though he does look a bit more aged in the first couple shots).

And it really was atmospheric. Well-filmed. Just... that little special extra missing. Maybe authenticity. Like how would the shot up apartment still be there ten years later.

Great action. Almost perfect.

 rated 4.5/5: almost awesome

Sometimes You Find Yourself In The Middle Of Nowhere...

Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere. And sometimes in the middle of nowhere you find yourself.

Last Man Down (2021)

Last Man Down (2021)

The Scandinavian Rambo? Why not!

He looks tough. He acts tough. He can actually chop wood. The action scenes aren't bad either, the nature's beautiful, and so is the girl but... she really looks a little weak when they fight it out back to back.

I like the idea (post-apocalyptic world post potential pandemic - a group of alphas in search for immunity so they can control the world - a bit like Mad Max with relevant reference to the current world situation), and I like the actors, and I like the ATTITUDE.

The nature's beautiful too, and refreshingly different compared to most grittier sceneries in action movies thee days - be that cities or desolate deserts and run down ruins.

But the dialog's not all perfect, the delivery's not all perfect, sometimes they speak a bit too much, sometimes Daniel moves a bit unnaturally slow, sometimes the girl seems unnaturally bad-ass too...

The intro scene might've been one of the most polished ones I've seen in a while, and the filmography's never bad, nor the acting, it's just not as polished after the intro.

It starts to lacks substance. The characters come across almost robotic in their ruse to rule the world. Where's the personality? Even a villain needs more than confidence and conviction. They need some ulterior motive. Or charisma. Nuance. It's like we never get to see where it's all going and where it could've gone...

I did thoroughly enjoy this, and was pleasantly surprised to see it had Swedish origins too.

It just unfortunately falls a little short along the way.

 rated 3.5/5: not bad at all

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